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Time Traveler

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-What's happenin', guys? Man, you guys look hungry. You know what you need? A macho salad. -[in Swedish]: Tomatoes. Salad. [grunts] [speaks Swedish] -That is so f--king manly. No, that's actually a scene from a Swedish movie, and I'm not sure of the title. But it's Swedish, so it's probably something without any vowels like, Svdksvrknbrkn... Part II. Doesn't matter. All I know is this guy is manly. Look at him just kickin' that salad's ass. Puttin' the lettuce in a headlock. This man totally needs to put out a cook book. How to Prepare a Steak... with Your Balls. Seriously, 400,000 people saw this video the problem is, punching your salad like that is a little too complicated. See, you're supposed to punch the woman who then makes the salad for you. Oh, domestic violence jokes always go over so well, don't they? All right, onto the next one. You guys remember the Double Rainbow Guy? You know, the guy that was like, "Whoa, Double Rainbow all the way! What does it mean? Man, that Ray William Johnson is amazing and hilarious." Okay, maybe he didn't actually say that last line. But anyway, the Double Rainbow has apparently been reincarnated. -[man shouting] Come on! Yes! Yes! Oh [bleep]! -Okay, maybe he's not as good as the Double Rainbow guy. But he is definitely having some sort of car-gasm. -Oh [bleep]! -That's crazy. I don't even get that excited when I look at porn. "Whoa, double-penetration all the way!" Not that I look at Internet porn--never mind. Anyway, the video's funny because the drivers could totally be injured, but this guy doesn't give a f-k. He's like... "Yeah! Come on! Suffer and die! Whoo-hoo! NASCAR!" I mean, what kind of a--hole gets all excited when they see some people get hurt, aside from, you know, you guys. Okay, I didn't want to review this next video 'cause it's not funny. In fact, it's kind of stupid. But how could I not? It got 1.6 million views in a week. It's been all over the news. Like, seriously, it gives me a f--king brain tumor just thinking about it. So there's this dude here who makes a video reviewing an old Charlie Chaplin film called Circus. Now, supposedly one of the extras, this old woman here, appears to be talking on a cell phone. All right, let's see that one more time. There she is, she's got her hand up, she appears to be talking on a cell phone. Now this was 1928. How on earth did she have a cell phone? So how does this dude try to explain it? Not that she's scratching her face, or maybe trying to shield her face from the camera, but that she's a f--king time traveler. And I'm not kidding, go and watch the whole video. And what's worse is that legit news sources have picked up the story, the footage is interesting, yes, but how on Earth did we get from "Oh, she's got her hand up like she might be talking on her cell phone" to "Oh, my God. She's a time traveler. She'll f--king kill us all!" And if she was talking on a cell phone, I would imagine her reception was pretty bad, consider there weren't any freakin' cell phone towers in 1928. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she is calling the future. Dude, I wanna call myself in the future. Yo, futurite? -Yes. -Hey, is your refrigerator running? -Well yeah, it is actually. -Oh good, 'cause you're a f--king midget. [laughs] No look, there are a million reasons why her hand could be up near her face, it doesn't mean she's Marty McFly. You know, when people on the Internet get all conspiracy-theory like this, it makes me mad. It makes me want to freaking put a lettuce in a freaking headlock. He's just so manly. Besides, if you're in 1928 and you want to connect with someone, you do what everyone else did back then: You use MySpace. Anyway guys, interesting lineup of videos this week. But you know what else is interesting? The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bam!, and he said... -If you woke up one day and discovered that you were Superman, what is the first thing you would do? -So if you were Superman, what would you do? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter. But thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me guys, if you could erase one thing from your memory, what would it be? [Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian -[speaks Swedish]

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 59 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 180
Posted by: spongesebastian on Nov 1, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson. (Captioned using UniversalSubtitles.org)

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