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Best of Sue Sylvester: Season 1

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Say Something! I'd love to stay and chat but I've got a satellite interview. That's lingo again for an interview via satellite. Will, I may buy a small diaper for your chin because it looks like a baby's ass. What do you want lady face? I'm sure you understand my point of view. We know each other mentally. Well, look who it is...I thought I smelled a laughing stock. Don't start with me Castle or I will kick you square in the taco. [Will] Hold on a second Sue. [Sue] I resent being told to hold on to anything, William. I will not be treated like a second class citizen because of my gender. [Will] I don't menstruate [Sue] Yeah? Neither do I. This is what we call a total disaster ladies. I am going to ask you to smell your armpits. Gay parents encourage rebellion. There's been studies on this. Look at me. Even in the heat of battle, I am so elegant. [Will] I will destroy you. [Sue] I'm about to vomit down your back. [Will] Its on. Face it. You want to be me. So here's the deal. You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy, elderly mother. Euthanize it! Ellen, that blouse is just insane. That is the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching. and that includes and elementary school production of Hair. [Will] Sue. Hey, Sylvester, I'm talking to you. [Sue] Oh hey buddy, I thought I smelled failure. You betcha! Outstanding. Slut Freak! Get creative. I need a fog machine. My a** Josh Grobin. Strike a pose. With a name like Tracy, I assumed you were a lady. Now get out of my office. Get on with it. Enough with the jibber jabber. Sing something. 95% of your Cheerios should have flunked Spanish, and I for one am not going to be a part of it anymore. Oh Will, we all know your devotion to that dying language. Because I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting. Are these your droopy, white granny panties, Jacob. Are you an Eve who was born a Steve? And that's how Sue "C's" it. You sunk my battleship, Rod, and you sunk it hard. BOH. This will not stand. Okay. You finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. You three are boring me now. I'm going to do something else. You're too busy chasing tale and loading your hair with enomorous amounts of product. I mean today it just looks like you put lard in it. Bring it on William I know you think I'm heartless Will. And you may have a point. I spend large segments of each day picturing you choking on food. And I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a vivid dream that you and I went to a zoo and I shoved your face into one of those pink inflamed monkey butts. You know what. I'm not going to do this. Even your breath smells of mediocrity. and it is making me sick. Just like your hairdresser has empowered you to look absolutely ridiculous. Piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment. I am going to bring some Asian cookery to rub your head with. Right about now you have enough product in your hair to season a wok. And wow I just lost my train of thought. You have so much margarine in your hair. To be honest Will, I having a really hard difficult time hearing anything you have to say today. because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the Bayou. This is a travesty of International proportions. You are about to board the Sue Sylvester express. Destination: Horror! Newton John. You are dead to me. Did you get a haircut? It looks awful. You no longer confuse me with your shemale looks. Sloppy. Freak show. Babies. And I'm going to get my boyfriend back. [Sue] I don't care so much about that. I would have gotten you one will, but I don't like you. You think this is hard. I'm passing a gallstone as we speak. That's hard! [Sue] Now be like a sister [kiss] [Will] Get your hands off me. You're not going to push a woman, are you? I didn't think so. Don't touch me. That is a lawsuit mister. I will sue your ass. Oh hey there Whoopie. Don Knotts. And your look is..[Sue] Fantastic. Yeah I agree. You know I was down at the pharmacy today and they were having a monster sale on Dep. Dep is a hair gel. And once again I am making fun of your incredibly stupid hairdo. I will no longer be carrying photo ID. You know why? People should know who I am. You know, for me, tropies are like herpes. I try to get rid of them. But they just keep coming. Hot Cheetos have been proven to raise endorphins, which makes for happy kids, and I can't have that. Elvis' gold record room at Graceland, except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around. [sniffs] Oh hey William. I thought I smelled cookies from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair. I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.

Video Details

Duration: 6 minutes and 28 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Genre: None
Views: 424
Posted by: tmigliac on Jul 14, 2011

Montage of Sue Sylvester comments.

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