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Monty Python: The Meaning of Life - The Miracle of Birth

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Part 1: THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH (The Meaning of Life) Delivery Rooms - Delivery Room 1 One thousand and eight! Mrs Moore's contractions are more frequent doctor! Good. Take her into the foetus frightening room. Right. Sir, a bit bare in here today. Isn't it? Yeees. More apparatus please, nurse. The EG, the BP monitor and the AVV! Yes, certainly doctor. And get the machine that goes "ping!" And get the most expensive machines, in case the administrator comes. Lovely! Lovely! Jolly good. That's better. That's much, much better. Yeees! More like it! Ummm... Still something missing, no? Hmmm? Hmmm... Patient! Yes... Where's the patient? Patient! Ah! Here she is! Bring her over here! Mind the machines! - Sorry... - Come alooong! Jump up there! Hup! - Hello! Now don't you worry. We'll soon have you cured! Leave it all to us, you'll never know what hit you. Goodbye! Goodbye! Drips up! Injections! Can I put the tube into the baby's head? Only if I can do the episiotomy. - Ok. Legs up! Aren't you coming? Come in all of you! Hop-hop! Jolly good! Come on. Spread around there. And who are you? - I'm the husband. - I'm sorry... ...only people involved are allowed in here. What do I do? - Yes? - What do I do? Nothing dear! You're not qualified! Leave it to us! What's that for? - That's the machine that goes "ping!" [Ping!] You see? That means your baby is still alive! And that's the most expensive machine in the whole hospital! Yes, it costed over 3 quarters of a million pounds. Aren't you lucky? The administrator's here doctor! Switch everything on! - Morning gentlemen. - Morning Mr Pycroft. Morning Dr Maquiavelus... Very impressive, very impressive. And what are you doing this moment? - It's a birth! Ah, and what sort of thing is that? Well, that's when we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy. Wonderful what you're doing we can do nowadays! - Huh? I see you have a machine that goes "ping!" This is my favourite. You see we lease this back to the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget & not the capital account. [Applauds] Thank you! Thank you! We're trying to do our best. Well, do carry on! Oh, the vulva is dilating doctor! - There, there's the head. There's four centimetres, five, six centimetres... Lights! Amplify the "ping" machine! - Masks up! - Suction! Eyes down for a full house! Here it comes! Aaand frightening! Thank you! And the rough towels! Show it to the mother. That's it love! Right! Sedate her, number the child! Measure it, blood-type it and isolate it! Ok, show's over! A boy or a girl? Well, I think it's a little early to start imposing roles on it. Don't you? Now, a word of advice. You may find you suffer from a totally irrational feeling of depression. The ND as we doctors call it. So, it's lots of happy pills for you and you can find all about the birth, when you get home. It's available on Betamax, VHS and Super 8. [Ping!]

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 18 seconds
Country: United Kingdom
Language: English
Genre: None
Producer: Monty Python
Director: Monty Python
Views: 2,419
Posted by: tinaki on Jul 12, 2010

An ironic Monthy Python video about the contemporary tecnology abuse of birth.

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