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THE INTERNET IS ON *[email protected]*!!

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-Do not try to adjust the picture. -A new form of television is here. -The Internet, not just for nerds and perverts anymore, it's for everybody, but if you ask me, it's getting a little out of hand. I mean, I was watching the news yesterday and even the newscasters are using "Internet lingo." Don't believe me? Check it out. -A woman in Los Angeles is in a critical condition after what police are calling a total fail. We have Kelly in the streets with the latest. Kelly? Thank you, Chuck. Yes, this was a very tragic story. Some might even call an FML. It was attack of the killer nom nom as a woman slipped on a banana peel, causing the woman to slip on a flight of stairs and crack her head on the concrete. -[yells] -We have a witness that was here live watching as this tragic fail whale beached the shore. -Hmm. Nice one Kelly. -Thank you, Chuck. -At first, I was like ROTFLMAO, ha. And then I was like, SMH when I saw her crack her head on the ground. Then I twit-picked it for all my tweeple. -Another woman was here and she had a different perspective. -Who the fuck slips on a banana peel like a cartoon character like she was Bugs Bunny or some shit? [laughs] She was looking around all sad-face and shit and I was like LOL, bitch! LOL! If anybody is out there with a video camera, submit that shit to Bob Saget. You gotta admit that that shit was funny and let it be so real like to have Bob Saget play that shit. And then say, you know what, this lady died. [cackles] LOL! -OMFG, that is one crazy black woman. -Excuse me? You wanna die, bitch? -Scared face. -Well, that is why the only black person I trust is Wayne Brady. This is Brent Snowben saying good-night and TTYL. -I think I'm gonna start watching the news. No, but seriously, the Internet has changed everything. I mean, you can't even have a private life. What kind of world are we living in where Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend can't make a sex tape and have it private? Oh, you haven't seen it? Well, let me show you. -Is this thing on? Hello? Wow, I look so pretty in this camera. Don't you think I look pretty? -Oh, yeah. -Don't you think I look skinny? Why the fuck did you hesitate? How skinny do I look? -Like Paris Hilton. -[gasps] Thank you. What about Kardashian? -Well, she's fat, right? -I trained you well. [growling] -Miley, what are you doing in there? -Oh, me and Liam are just hanging out. -Remember to use your protection. -I know, Daddy, safety first. -Your dad gave you condoms? -[laughs] No, silly. That stuff. What should we play with first? I haven't used this in forever. [chainsaw buzzes] This was my great-great-great-great-great-grandpapi's whip. He worked on a boat. I wonder what he did. Maybe he was one of those guys who was like, dinner's ready! Hey, hey, ask me what's cracking. Ask! -What's cracking? -My whip, bitch! Liam, dance, dance, yeah, yeah. Break it down. Yeah, keep breaking it down. Hey, Liam, open nuts! -[groaning] -[laughs] You fell for it, stupid! How does it feel, bitch? Oh, my God, you're so sexy! -Yeah? -You know who you look like when you make your sexy face? -Who? -My daddy. [cat meows] Aww, look, there goes the only pussy you're ever gonna play with. Wah-wah. All right baby, I'm gonna go slip into something a little more comfortable. Ready? -Yeah. -Who wants to [bleep]? I don't think I'm gonna have sex until I'm married. And I don't want to be married until I'm like 40. [laughs] Oh, it's so good to meet somebody that doesn't care that I'm not gonna give up my flower. Oh, Liam. Liam? Lilibear? Liam, wait! [engine takes off] Fine, I'll find another boyfriend! Hey, Enrique. You wanna be my boyfriend? -Sorry, I'm not gay. [gunshot] -Daddy, I need a shovel and a garbage bag. -Did you kill another Mexican? -Maybe. -So that's why they broke up. It's so sad. So here's my question to you. How much time a week do you think you spend on the Internet? I'm talking checking e-mail, Twitter, going on YouTube, instant messaging. Anything that involves satellites. Is that how the Internet works? Satellites? I don't know. Aliens? I'm not a Scientologist--scientist? I'm not smart. For me personally, I'm gonna guesstimate eight hours a day times seven, 56 hours a week? Wow. That's a lot. Leave a comment or video response letting me know. My whole point of this video is to show you, yes, the Internet can be fun, it's great, Twittering and all that crap, but there is a real world out there. I know, shocker. But my goal this month is to take two hours of the Internet out of my day and spend it going outside and trying to get a life. So are you guys with me? Are we gonna do it? By the way, I'm not telling you guys to stop watching my YouTube videos. [laughs] Please don't. All right you guys, see you later. Captioned by SpongeSebastian -At first, I was like ROFTLMAO, ha! [cracks up]

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 50 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Shane Dawson
Director: Shane Dawson
Views: 485
Posted by: spongesebastian on Oct 17, 2010

From Shane Dawson TV. (Captioned using UniversalSubtitles.org)

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