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GWG Focus Group Series #4- Relationships-SD

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Being independent or trying to be independent um, just relationships like, I don't have a husband you know. As far dating you know, you don't want to run the person like off. It's kinda like your getting to know them but then you're really trying to really get to know them as far as their character because you really need someone whos responsible. You know, you need someone who their, their goals in line. If something happens to you or if you're down you want somebody who you know can be that rock and be supportive. You know it's really hard to find people like that cause especially like, the younger you are everyone's like not at that level. They're trying to be or get to and I mean like, I'm totally not and every time I take like 3 steps forward something happens. I met my husband um, 7 years ago and he's 3 years younger than me. And he was just supposed to be like a fun summer fling and, who knew, and like on our fifth date probably he was like, "Well tell me something about you I don't know." and this was like, ("oh boy") yeah, I'd been diagnosed with UC first and then re diagnosed with Crohn's. And, I'd had j-pouch surgeries and then like, it had been like a month before I had been re diagnosed with Crohn's after the j-pouch. So I was just a mess. I was like, man I know that's the obvious thing to tell you but, like are you gonna run away and I was like I'm just gonna take a chance. So I told him and he asked more questions and he just looked at me and he was like, "You're so brave.", and I was like OK you're no longer a summer fling. (laughter). You're a solid guy and it shocked me right cause he was younger and I was like he is gonna bolt out the door like the second he sees this but, you never know. I have to rely on him for insurance. I ran my own business and I was un insurable completely because of preexisting conditions. So um, I rely on him for insurance and he lost his job and I'm, we're convinced he got laid off because of my medical situation from a previous job. We had to cover it for a year and a half I was in the hospital it was just a disaster. And uh, he has a really good job now and uh, really good insurance. They're flexible with hospitalizations and all that stuff. But, he wants to move on. He wants to try a different line of work, do other things but he can't because we're afraid of this comfort zone we have with the insurance and the, the flexibility they're providing. Allowing him to sit in the hos-, sit with me in the hospital for a month or whatever. So, his life is restricted because, of me. It was 6 months so it was just like, yay newlyweds and yeah you're in the hospital now for however long and surgeries and all that so. They say in sickness and in health but he really got a lot more than he bargained for and I'm really thankful that my husband and my family's so supportive and I hope that everybody else has that. Um, but I joke with my husband he, he's gonna trade me in for 2 twenties. We've been married for 24 years and he left me a month ago, "Do you think IBD had a role in this?" It's everything. It's that I was seeking out that pity party.

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Duration: 3 minutes and 27 seconds
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Language: English
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Posted by: ibdgirls on Jan 19, 2016

GWG Focus Group Series #4- Relationships-SD

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