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John Gray: How do men and women cope with stress

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How do men and women cope with stress differently? One of them biggest reasons for problems in relationships! Not because we cope differently, but because we don't understand how we cope differently. That's the whole keys. We just don't understand what we are dealing with. And we don't understand that we tend to misinterpret it. So how do men and women cope with stress differently? To sum it up very simply. Men cope with stress by solving problems. If I'm stressed. Ok, what can I do about it? Let me find something I can do and let me do something about it. The most depressing thing for a man is to think "There's nothing I can do to solve this problem!" That's why men are always trying to solve problems. And they feel best when they're solving problems. So let's say men are solving all these problems but today there's problems you can't solve in one day There's mortgages and bankloans and things you have to do...and gonna wait six months for. Maybe tomorrow you're got an real estate deal, it it gonna happen, is it not? So at the end of the day there's nothing I can do to solve this problem. So what do men become experts at? How do you solve a problem that you can't solve? We've been doing it since the beginning of time We've got this gene that allows us to do it. You can't solve this problem? No problem! Forget it! And Plato explained it, he said... because he's a very serious philosopher type, he said that life is a serious endeavour but there's utility and seriousness in being frivolous! And so one has to have some frivolous behaviours as well because they put you on on the right side of the brain. So if you go to the right side of the brain, when you're a man the left side of your brain goes to sleep, has a nice rest! If you're rather on the other side of the brain it just gets worn out. But see, women can't leave the left side of the brain. They're always thinking and they're always feeling and they're always planning to talk or remembering to talk or whatever. The whole brain is functioning for women. In a different way for men! Now we can feel sorry for women, we can feel sorry for men. Or we can go how can we support each other? First of all, let me explain what women do when they cope with stress. She often wants to talk about it! She wants to talks about all the problems that happened today. Why would she ever want to do that? From a man's point of you, if there's a problem you can't do anything about, forget it! And that by the way, is not just a communication skill, men, you just have to practice! Which is, if a woman is talking about her problems... remember not to say these words: "Don't worry about i!" "It's not a big deal!" "Just forget it!" Here's something that I tried once. After a stressful day for my wife. I said: "Honey, don't worry about it. Let's just have sex!" Only once; didn't work! She'll talk about some problems and he'll say: "Just quit that job! Find another job! Your choice. Do something else! Does she feel like you're even interested in what she had to say? No! Doe she feel like you really care about her? No! And the truth is, men: Is she really asking for your advice at that time? Are you men actually?... On a subconscious level this is where we are coming from, We give: "Honey, just quit that job!" What do you expect her to say?: "What a brilliant idea!" "I hadn't tought of it! I've a problem at the job I could just quit it and find another job. Well that's great! I feel so great! No wonder you make all the money?" She's not gonna say that. She's not asking for advice. What she's looking for is... using her relationship as a way to cope with stress.

Video Details

Duration: 3 minutes and 16 seconds
Country: France
Language: English
Producer: -
Director: -
Views: 145
Posted by: dzakyem on Mar 24, 2011


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