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Jacque Fresco (1974): The Self

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Now... To get to the real world. To become a real person, and not live with a mask or manners. Take off that mask of manners and try to be real. The more you pretend, the more you have to invent and develop false excuses, the more devices you have to use. Like, if I wanted to see someone who didn't want to see me, I would do all kinds of things. Which I know; when somebody does that, I don't look at them as corrupt. I feel sorry for them because they don't know how to be honest. And if you don't know how to be honest, the penalty is suffering and pain. In all ends. But when you're honest. That means; when someone that you love rejects you; that's it, you accept it. And you don't say, "Why did you do it? I've never done anything wrong!" Just say, "Is that the way you want it? Alright." And you go away. But you don't fight back. You don't say, "Oh yeah!? You goddamn, dumb broad! [strike with hand]" People do that because they are sick and because they don't know the meaning of love. Love is... Stop climbing up on people and making demands on them. And give them space to live. And give them the opportunity to grow. And try to help them grow. And if they can't make it, if they remain too far behind, it is cruel for you to stay with them. It is better for you to separate, diminish the relationship. Don't think that you're good, if you stay with a person that can't make it. If you're good natured and the person climbs on your back and abuses you, and they can't make it, you're only perpetuating the abuse. The best thing to do is to try to help them in every way you know how. And once they begin to grow up, they can't afford to lean on you anymore. They turn away and they say, "Hey, there's a lot of things I can do to make lives better for other people." And once they take that on, they don't have guilt anymore. And they don't have a low self-sufficiency. And they don't wonder wether anyone will love them. Because when you're lovable. When you're out in the world doing wonderful things and you love yourself; in that sense, other people will love you. And when they come over to put their arms around you to give you that love, you say, "Give it to someone else, because they need it more than I do." Because, once you're successful as a human being, you don't wonder wether anyone will call you anymore. So many people used to call you and everybody was trying to date you. That's insecure. You just go on being the best person you know how to be and the rest falls in line. Whatever falls in line is appropriate. Now, if you become the best person you are and somebody gets you in an alley and runs a knife into your ribs and takes your money and runs away, you walk, with a limp, in pain, to the nearest place you can get and seek aid. You don't say, "That son of a bitch!" Because that son of a bitch is you in another environment. That's a very hard thing to learn. Now, do you have any questions about what I'm saying? I'm not telling you what to do. I'm suggesting that you consider the other person, which we never do. When somebody hurts me, I always say, "That no good son of a bitch!" When somebody lies to me, "That son of a bitch is a liar!" Instead of saying, "Gee, I wonder what kind of environment they had come from... ...to force them to behave in such a way. They can't even afford humanitiy." So, when you grow up, you stop feeling sorry for yourself. But, you got to work at it. You got to work hard at it. Now what's your question? I thought you were just putting down any affiliation... I'm putting down any kind of behavior that deals with, mainly, the self. That's where the sickness comes from. When you say, "You know, nobody loves me. I'm thirty-three years old and I'm not married. Jennifer has a car, a house, and a yacht. Her husband brings her a lot of things. Her husband loves her and my husband doesn't love me." And all that kind of shit, see? This is the shit that I'm talking about. That's the investment you make. And if that's where you're at, I can guarantee suffering until the day you die. That I guarantee. If you go around saying, "Nobody loves me. I'm thirty-three years old and I'm not married. My husband never whispers sweet-nothings into my ear." That's it. That's when you're sick. Now, if your husband isn't warm and lovable. You ought to feel sorry for him. You light your cigar and say, "Poor guy, doesn't even know what love is." Instead of saying, you know, wear a low cut [?] and say, "Come at me, Sam!" Try to appear tempting, you know. All that shit is what i'm talking about. That shit never brings gratification. You know what it brings? Shit. If you don't understand what I'm talking about. All the false approaches, in that sense, bring nothing but shit. You say, "Well, I got to have some kind of temporary relief." It's no relief because it isn't real. You know, when you tell someone to scratch your back because you got a terribly itchy mosquito bite, and there is a sheet of glass between you and the scratch; there is no relief. So, sex and loneliness. When you generate moments of pleasure, because you've been so sad, you pay off heavily. Because those moments are only very momentary and they come to a quick end, and you land with the problem. But if you don't have the problem there is an end. Let me put it other way. Do you think you know what i'm talking about? When you don't have the problem in the first place. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. "I'm a desirable woman, somebody will want me." Or a guy says, "I fucked 9 women this weekend." What's he trying to prove? Why doesn't he get up and say, "I've fucked one girl in six months." What are you trying to prove? What do you have to prove to other people? Why does a man always have to walk around proving that they are very virile? Why are they trying to prove that they got everybody flocking to them? There is a problem there. Why do I tell you I built the Fountain Bloom Hotel? What's the matter with me? Why do I have to tell you that? Because the people that are always trying to prove something, in that sense, are the people that live in poverty. Howard Hughes doesn't walk around opening his wallet showing you a thousand dollars. He doesn't do that. You know who does that? A guy that was always called a "bum" and "You'll never amount to anything." "Wherever you go you'll never get nowhere and you'll always be a shoeshine boy." When he makes it, he comes back to that area with his 40 dollar suit and he opens his wallet and goes [flipping paper noise] to these kids. They say, "He made it!" But he has to come back every week, [flipping paper noise]. Do you understand what I mean? These people... This is the sickness I'm talking about; "If only somebody could love me." Well turn around and ask yourself this question. If you were a guy would you love you? Hell no, because I'm not that lovable. So, stop worrying about wether people will love you. Once you have compassion for other people and get off your fucking wheelbarrow of the self. Get away from the mirror. Break every fucking mirror in your home. Comb your hair, take a bath, and remain clean. And that's easier, for whatever affection you get then will be real. Now, when you go in it the false way, you only drag the false enemy in the picture.

Video Details

Duration: 7 minutes and 37 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: GeorgeTVP
Director: TVP
Views: 370
Posted by: cdf83 on Aug 15, 2011

on't hide behind polite mask, be true with yourself... As Mark Twain once said "Only the truth is good manners."

Know thyself - plato

Excerpts are taken from the Classic Lecture Series. This clip is from 'Identifying and Changing Values'.


For more information visit:
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tvpactivism.com

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