Soap Or Die

[cameras snapping] [tuba ♫♪] [distant singing ♫♪ music swell] Ryan: You know, honestly, I'm just a simple guy I just want to Soap, I want to smoke bud... I want to party, I want to bang my chick, and I want to have a good time. [screaming drum solo] [♫ ♪] Narrator: The year was 1997. The clothes were cool, The people were cool, and the shoes were hot. Soap shoes, that is. You see, a Soap shoe is a regular shoe with hard plastic grindplate on the bottom, perfect for sliding down rails. and people slid, slid on anything possible. S. O. A. P. Soap. People who devoted their lives to Soap were called Soapers. This is the story of the last original Soaper. Cameraman: Holy crap dude, you were going fast as hell. Ryan: This is dope, we're just over here sound-checking. Look at these guys they brought some toys. My name is Ryan Jaunzemis. I'm a pro-Soaper. I grew up in El Segundo, I was about 16, this was in 10th Grade, 1996. I was walking home from school, right after football practice. And I see this guy, he's dressed in all black, he's wearing these rollerblades. This guy's like, cruising down all fast, and he jumps up on this picnic table. does a 360 off the end. I'm just kinda stopped in my tracks, I was like, This is the coolest thing I've ever seen! I've gotta get --fuck football, I've gotta get skates! I was like, man I can see it now. I'm gonna be rollin' to school, wearing all black with these Oakley shades I'm gonna be doing 360's and shit, I'm gonna be getting all these girls They're gonna be like, wanting to take me to the prom This is some pimp shit right here The moment I saw those Soaps, I was like, 'dude, that's it... ... I have to have these shoes' I just started Soaping every day. I started calling in sick to school. I would just go out, just Soaping, just grinding. They signed me on to Soap. I had to sign all these forms. Basically they were like 'Ok, you have access, you can have as many pairs of shoes as you want.' Right away, the two of us, just started butting heads I told them, I was like, you know, we're pro's I want the Ryan Jaunzemis, pro model Soap Shoes. I think you should have me, in a pool, with two hot Soap groupies make cheerleading outfits with the Soap "O" on it, in blue and white-- they were like, 'No, this is not the image' Finally, one day, I just lost it. I was like 'fuck this shit' and I started writing this hate mail Basically, I typed out, 'fuck soap, I should've probably just kept rollerblading these motherfuckers are, this is bullshit bro, they're just using us and so I hit send, but I was using the company's Outlook Express. And when I hit send, it actually went, Reply to All. After I got fired from Soap, I had recently got the Soap "O" logo tattooed on my shoulder. After I got fired, I really didn't feel proud to represent that any more. So I started looking around online, 'home remedies to get rid of a tattoo' Some kid said that he had a tattoo on his hand, and he just burned it off with a hot spoon. So I went home, I'm taking swigs of this fucking Popov, nasty vodka and I'm starting to get drunk bro, and I'm like, 'alright, fuck it, let's do this!' So I fire up the stove, and I'm heating up the spoon. 'oh shit' TSSSSSAAAGGHH FUCK That shit hurt dawg. So, I'd kinda put Soap behind me, and also at the time, I'd recently got my girlfriend pregnant. So I was like well, my soaping career is kinda over, so I might as well do the family thing and I ended up joining the Navy, which led me to later going to school at M.I. and becoming a recording engineer in Las Vegas, and then moving into pickup artistry and moving to become the number one dating coach in Las Vegas. [ Rap beat ♫ ♪ ] I pour some water on my head 'cause I'm sweatin', got no regrets and anxious for shit to set in, Hoes on me soon as I step in Bitches be grindin', Henn's what I'm sippin', I'm pimpin' and grippin' Rippin' that shit mother fucker, Welcome to Vegas bitches. [ machine gun fire ] [ slot machine ] [ kissy noise ] [ cha-ching ] I got back into Soaping, now I feel like Soap is gone, now I'm not representing them, I'm representing myself as basically a solo artist in 2016, just doing my own thing. The kids today think Sega and Sonic invented Soap Shoes Half the kids today don't even know what Soap Shoes are. I walk to the skate park and they're like 'what are those?' These are Soap Shoes. 'How do I get some?' Well, they went out of business before you were born, so, eBay. [ introspective music ♫ ] I've noticed that this is such a transient city. I think the statistic is that 4 million people are coming and leaving each month. I think because of the transient environment that I live in, over the years I've come to disassociate myself from a lot of people. [ hopeful music ♫ ] They say Soaping is a solitary and introspective sport. For me, like, it's an artform, and I think it's something that resonates with me. Ya know, I do it because I love it. There's always gonna be comments, and people hating on it and stuff, but... Ya know, half the time I think it's kind of amusing. Sometimes I kind of find it cute. like, man, that person has such low self-esteem, they wanna bring me down to their level. Whatever you love, you know, do it. It's an outward expression of your internal self. We all choose our own reality. We attract what we wanna. I believe that our our outside existence is a mirror reflection of who we are or what we're vibrating on the inside. A lot of people talk, A lot of people dream but they never take physical action step towards what they want. And so many people are scared to take that step. Do something. It doesn't even have to be the right action. But as long as you do something, I believe the universe will rearrange itself and show you what you have to do next. I think people have to be prepared to exchange something in return for their dream. For example, if you have a dream to have the perfect body you may have to give up eating McDonald's for a year. You may have to try new foods, that maybe always grossed you out. I never liked onions as a kid, I never liked broccoli but now, I eat all kinds of vegetables rainbow chard radishes stuff I throw in my blender that I never ate as a kid. because I want sustained energy, I want clarity, I want clean focus I want to feel healthy, I want to feel good. So I've had to give up things like Twinkies and Coca-Cola in exchange for the dream of being physically fit. You may never get everything that you want in your one physical life experience that you're here on this planet. But as long, in my personal opinion, as long as your moving towards what you want I believe that you're a successful person. I have a lot of stuff that I'd still like to be done but for the type of goals that I have, it will take me, I dunno, 30 or 40 lifetimes here. [ ♪ I've got all this hope ♫ ] Sometimes, you know, I get frustrated. Some people will be like, 'wow you did great,' but I'm like, well, It could be better. I might get frustrated, fall a couple times Sometimes I have the tendency to get pissed off and then I just have to stop and kinda breathe and center myself and I ask myself the question, 'Why am I out here?' 'Why am I 35 years old, sliding in my fucking shoes?' And I kind of remember, you know, that, the reason, is like I wanna enjoy that ride. I want to jump on this roller coaster and ride this mother fucker all the way to the end and come off smooth and just keep walking. I want to live life, I want to experience it in the physical. Not just in the invisible, in my mind, imagining it. [ orchestra tuning ] [ desert sounds ] Now it's a personal thing, I don't feel that I'm better than anyone else I can't really do the 9 to 5 thing, that's never really resonated with me just because I'm more into being free. I want to make everyday count. I want to have everyday having a purpose. Life's short, you've got 28251 days, can't fuck around, gotta make that shit happen. Looking back on it, all I really wanted to do in the beginning was to jump up and 360 off of a picnic table. All I really wanted to do was this, and I end up way the fuck over here. I believe that the key to achieving your dreams is to be truthful to who you are and if that's really what you want, then you need to go for it, regardless of what anyone else thinks of you what your mom thinks of you, what your best friend thinks of you what society may think of you what your priest or pastor or police, firemen, governments if you know who you are and you know what you want then I say go for it. At the same time try to realize that you may never achieve everything that you want. Stay happy, stay positive, stay focused You'll get where you wanna get, just stay on it. Life is a, Life is an interesting thing man but I'm here man, doing it everyday keeping my game tight following all my dreams, following my goals and just trying to make shit happen. [ clink ]