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No Christmas

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-What's happening, guys? Here's the thing. I'm glad I don't work in live TV, 'cause if I did, I'd probably f--k something up, like this. Now notice this reporter is doing his thing, but pay attention to this woman back here. -...and have much more for you tonight on Eyewitness News at 5:00. For now, we're live at the Bedford Park section of the Bronx. I'm Joe Torres, Channel 7, Eyewitness News. -Why you trippin' girl? Now, we've seen videos like this a million times. It's nothing new. But it is good for a cheap laugh, 'cause you know that woman was thinking... -Oh, my God, a camera. I'm gonna be on TV. Okay, stay calm, stay calm, don't do anything stupid. Uh-oh. [crash!] That was the sound of her ego shattering. I also love that the reporter doesn't seem to give a f--k, does he? He's all like, "Bitch, you better run along. Don't make me come back there." All right, you guys wanna see something really tragic? Okay, I hate for you to see this, but there's this Rudolf in this parade in Richmond, Virginia. And that's cool; everybody loves Rudolf, right? Except maybe the North Koreans. I imagine they wanna nuke him. Anyway, so Rudolf runs into this little problem, right. He is too big to fit under this traffic light. And they're gonna try to limbo under that light. And what follows is probably one of the most tragic, yet funny, things I've ever seen. [crowd reacting] -No, no, no! -Oh! Oh! -You're tearing Rudolf! -Rudolf's torn! -No! [man laughs] [woman laughs] -Oh, they killed Rudolf. What is this, Deer Season? Just look at him there all impotent. You better get him some Viagra. No, he went down like the Hindenburg though, didn't he? "Oh, the humanity." What? Too soon? I mean, this got like 400,000 views in four days, but it's not funny. I mean, these people speared Rudolf right through his skull. How the f--k are we supposed to get Christmas presents now? You'd better duct-tape that s--t up and keep the parade goin'. So I guess if you're a scientist, you get pretty bored at work. I know, right? Somebody getting bored with science. Imagine that. Anyhoo, check this out. This scientist's coworkers got bored and decided to play a little prank on him. [pop!] Yeah, I know. It's funny. It got 300,000 views in a month but it's fake. That video is faker than... your parents' enthusiasm. "Oh, that's a good drawing honey. I'll just put it over here on the fridge." No, look, I don't need to break this down for you. You can watch this video and clearly see that the camera quality is a little too high for this kind of thing. And that frames are missing from the footage. And his blast backwards doesn't look natural. But the biggest giveaway as always is people just don't do that to each other. "Hey, Bob, you know what would be funny? If we blast Carl with that air cannon." "Oh, yeah. That would be hilarious. Assuming he doesn't f--king die." A blast like that could break ribs or even cause a concussion. And believe it or not, I'm actually against people dying for no reason. So there it is. I'm not an expert, I'm just a regular-ass dude like you, and I'm gonna say it's fake. But it is real, then I'm gonna buy one of those air cannons and blast the Jehovah's witnesses when they come to my door. -Hello sir, can I tell you about Jesus Christ? -I'm just sayin'. But you know what never knocks on my door early Saturday mornings? The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bing!, and she said... -My comment question of the day is what do you stay awake for? -So, what do you stay awake for? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter. But thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me guys, if you were a Smurf, what would your smurf name be? [Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian [laughter and reactions] -Meanwhile... -Oh!

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 35 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 157
Posted by: spongesebastian on Dec 10, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson.

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