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Darren Carter on the Tonight Show

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[crowd cheering] Please welcome Darren Carter! Hey! Where's all my redheads at? Any redheads here? Hello? See, it's always the women, see? See, it's hard being a guy, 'cause with red hair you always have to try to fit in. And I grew up in Fresno, California. I grew up in a Latino neighborhood. And kids would remind me I look different. They were like, [mimicking latino accent] "Oh, hey check out fireball." "Hey, what's up Richie Cunningham". "What's up rooster". [laughter] They used to call me Rooster. I never knew why, then I looked back at pictures of myself, I had long, bouncy bright red hair, a heavy backpack, and I would walk like this. They called me Rooster! And one time I got in a fight with another guy with red hair, and all this money was flying around, I was like, "What's that for?" They were like, "Cock fight". [applause and laughter] Just like any kid, you want to fit in, right? You want the kids to like you, you want to be accepted. Sixth grade, I tried being chollo. I tried dressing like a little gang member. I wore flannel, khakis, a bandana - - everyone thought I was trying to be a farmer. In junior high my friends were [latino accent] Jose, Andreas, Luis, and me, Darren. [midwestern] Darren Carter. I said don't call me Darren Carter, call me Darreno Carterro. I don't need tattoos, 'cause I got freckles, punk. [laughter] High school my friends were black, it was Titus, Pervus, Rollie and me, Darren. Otherwise known as Da-ron. [ gangsta voice] That's right baby, once you go red, you jump back in the bed. [cheers, and applause] They used to call me Daron, 'cause I used to rap a little bit. You see, I could never be a gangster rapper, 'cause think about it, how scary would my gang be? Can you see that, you know? "Trevor, Cameron, Ian, Fletcher - mess with us, go home on a stretcher". Ridin' around in a lowrider Volvo. A bumper sticker on the back "play soccer". We didn't have a lot of money when I grew up. My mother shopped at Kmart. Kmart is embarrassing when you're a kid, because kids will tease you. Your mom shops at Kmart, huh? Adidas with one stripe. Stupid. But then you move out, you start buying your own clothes, paying your own bills, using your own money - you go back to Kmart, you're like, "Damn, this store isn't that bad". One of the reasons we didn't have a lot of money is my dad was a Baptist minister, and I used to ask him questions about sex just to watch him get nervous. [lower voice] Son, you gotta be careful with that sort of thing. You could get gingivitis, uh, osteos perosis, and he'd pick up the bible, any big word to scare me. You can get Dueteronomy, Leviticus, uh, son you could catch the burning bush. I don't even know why I asked my dad about sex, because I didn't have a girlfriend until after high school. One thing I noticed is that women always like tall, dark, handsome, never pasty, pink, wholesome. And redheads, we can't even date each other. I went out with a girl with red hair - it looked like a Raggie Ann and Andy freckle fest. One time we were rollerblading holding hands, people thought it was Disney on ice. No one ever thought we were girlfriend and boyfriend, they thought we were brother and sister. Until we started kissing - then they thought we were from Arkansas. [Clinton voice] Making fun of Arkansas is not right. I even tried to shake that goody-two-shoes, Opie image. I grew a goatie, red whiskers - I ended up looking like Shaggy from Scooby Do. Even my friends were like "Darren", I'd be like "What up player", they'd be like, [Scooby voice] Boaoooh? Roy? [Scooby laugh] Arroo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.. Thank you! (Leno) Good job, buddy. Darren Carter. Very funny. Oh, Thank you. (Leno) So, a tough time .... [cheers] tough time growing up? Yeah. You know... [cheers, applause] [gangsta voice] Daron, baby. You know, Jay, in fact I had a friend - you know how kids tease you? I had a friend with a really big jaw, you know, they used to call him Pelican. And they called me Rooster. And one time we were hanging out, and this guy came up and says [Latino voice] "Birds of a feather flock together". Yeah, they're mean, I'll tell ya. (Leno) Mean neighborhood. But funny, funny stuff. (Darren) Thank you. (Leno) Come back an see us again? Cool I will. Darren Carter, we'll be back after this.

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 30 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Views: 416
Posted by: ccwebguy on Feb 20, 2011


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