Hitler responds to the iPad
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We expect the iPad will be very popular
It will probably be sold out at Best Buy's here, and here
Though we may be able to find it at these other locations
That's fine, I'll just order it online
My Fuhrer
The iPad
The iPad won't support multitasking.
It will only be able to run one app at a time.
Anyone who wasn't planning on buying the iPad, please leave.
What the fuck!
Is this a joke? Fuck!
Who do they think they are?
What the hell is it then?
They didn't give it a camera, fine.
But it's on AT&T!
How am I supposed to use their crappy network?
They could have revolutionized the market!
It could have been amazing!
My Fuhrer, it can run iPhone apps.
iPhone Apps? I wanted a computer!
I wanted OS X!
My Fuhrer, it's also an eBook reader.
eBooks? If I wanted eBooks, I'd buy a Kindle.
This is bullshit!
It had all the potential in the world.
It could have changed the market.
It could have single handedly destroyed netbooks.
But what do we get instead?
An oversized iPod Touch!
The only thing it can do that my iPhone can't is to have split screens.
It can't even make phone calls!
There were so many rumors!
Stupid iPad!
I've spent so much time
whishing
dreaming!
That Apple would come out with the perfect tablet.
Shit!
It sounds like a fucking tampon!
There is nothing manly about it at all!
I wanted to watch videos of lolcats while laying on the couch.
But no. They won't even give it flash support.
They're still not giving us the full web like they promised with the iPhone.
How am I supposed to play Bloons?
Don't worry, you can play on my netbook.
This is the first time
in a long time
that Apple has disappointed me so much.
So sad.
No one better gift it to me.
I might as well wait for the HP slate now.
They'll probably actually get it right.
I've lost all my faith in Apple.
Leave me.