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CARROT STICKS!

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-What's up, guys? I'll tell you what's up. A horse in the backseat of a f--king car. -...ol' horsey. -There's a horse in a car. -I'm sorry sir, is it just me or is there a f--king horse in your backseat? Why? Why? Of all the crazy stuff I've seen reviewing viral videos, why would you put a horse in the back of your car? "More horsepower?" No, I mean like, is it one of those Flintstone cars and his little legs are running underneath? I don't think so. Is the horse rich and this is his chauffeur? -Yo, you got any Grey Poupon up in this motherf--ker? -Actually, you know what, I wrote a letter, here we go. "Dear anyone who puts a horse in the backseat of your car, f--king stop!" I'm just sayin', you could put it in a trailer, you could even ride it, you know you can ride those bastards, right? Just get it out of your car. Speaking of animals that shouldn't be in certain situations, there's this cat, and this cat is getting in a fight. But not with another cat or even a dog, no, with an alligator. -You get away from it. -It's interesting. Oh, my God. -That is by far the ballsiest cat I've ever seen. Is ballsiest a word? Ballsiest is now a word, is the ballsiest cat I've ever seen. No really, 300,000 in a week and I can't tell if this cat is really brave or just a f--king idiot. I mean, look he bitch-slaps this gator twice. Shwoot! Shwoot! Then two gators roll up and he does it again. -What did you say about my momma? -Now, I've played Pitfall enough to know that gators will gobble your ass up. But tell me, am I wrong about this, 'cause no one is the video seems to be afraid. And those gators look ready to be snatchin' yo' people up. No, I've never actually seen an alligator in real life, and I imagine if I did, I'd run away like a little bitch like, Ah! I don't know, but these gators certainly lost that fight. Looks like they need to drink more Gator-ade. Ha-ha, get it? Gator... Oh, come on, that was funny. All right, enough with the animals. Let's look at some people. Now the people I'm about to show you are apparently in a carrot-peeling contest and I guess the girl is the judge? [both chuckling] What in the hell was that? I mean, really, there's just something not right about that whole thing. I mean, how can she accurately judge the contest when she's on her knees with her eyes closed? That just doesn't seem like a fair and well-regulated contest to me. And how do you know who wins anyway? What, he who blows the biggest carrot load is the winner? I don't know, this video is 2.5 years old with 200,000 views and I--it's just wrong. Come on, young lady. What would your mother say? I mean, she told you to eat your vegetables but not like "Eat your veg--" Never mind, ugh... One could only imagine what you people are doing with the cheese grater. I'm sorry, even if we saw a ridiculously brave cat and a horse crammed in the backseat of the car, the humans lose today, because that is just wrong. But you know who else would do dirty things with the cheese grater? The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bam!, and he said... -How do you break an awkward silence? -So, how do you break an awkward silence? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter. But thanks for watching a very f--ked up episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me guys, what's in your wallet? [Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian Mom, Ray told me to do dirty things with the cheese grater.

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 19 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 181
Posted by: spongesebastian on Nov 16, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson.

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