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Fear the Cheese

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-What's happenin', forum? Oh, nothing. Just a motherf--kin' cat who DJs. [heavy-bass music playing] Now, I am way too impressed by that video. Mainly because my cat isn't coordinated enough to s--t in the litter box correctly. But this cat here can spin records at the club all night, assuming that he snorts a line of catnip. Now, I guess the guy who tortured this poor cat by dressing him up like Keven Federline got what he wanted, 'cause the video got like 200,000 views in five days and it was on CNN. But come on. How can you not like seeing that cat do the Guido fist pump? How can you not love him putting his paws in the air like he just don't care? Now, to the cat's owner, dude, I think you made a funny video, but look at that cat's face. -Aww, f--k. I hate my life. -Dude, he is gonna kill you in your sleep. So guys, I wanna introduce you to our new friend here, whom we'll call Whitey McCrackerHonky. Now--what? That's his real name. What do you think, I just made that up? Anyway, Whitey McCrackerHonky's got a little something to show you. -AK-47, 30-round shot movement, [indistinct] Shut your motherf--kin' ass... [gunshots] Oh, my God. -It's amazing how quickly he went from hardcore gangster to scared little white teenager. Now the video itself is funny and ridiculous, but the people want to know if it's fake. Now, debate all you want, but here's my conclusion, along with a picture of some boobs to keep your attention. Notice that there wasn't a ton of recoil from the gun, but there was enough recoil for it to be believable. He also dropped the gun, which seems like something someone naturally do if they just accidentally did a drive-by on their own f--king house. The only thing that makes me think it's fake is the sound. See, in real life, guns are really loud. And the mic on your average camcorder is gonna peak and cut off, which in this case, it doesn't. Even so, with this video, I'm leaning towards it being real and not so much, you know. And there you have it. You can argue with me, you can tell me that I'm wrong, but you have to remember that I have a huge penis. And therefore, your argument is invalid. You guys know I'm a sucker for good advertising right? So this next video with over a million views is actually for a company called Panda, which makes cheese. [True Love Ways by Buddy Holly playing] Wow, that panda is kind of an ---hole. No wonder why they're almost extinct. Now this company has a ton of commercials and they're all like that. This f--kin' bear shows up and tries to bully you into eating their cheese. Oh, these guys don't want you to love their cheese, they want you to fear their cheese. It's like you bought that s--t from a loan shark. And just look at his little panda face. He is gangsta. Way more gangsta that Whitey McCrackerHonky. I swear to God that's the same bear from Tekken. Now, I linked to the full video. Go watch the whole thing. All the commercials are right in a row and they're awesome. And if you don't watch it, that panda might show up at your door and bust your kneecaps. I'm just sayin'. There is nothing to celebrate, cat. That bear will f--k you up. But you know what will never bully you into eatin' their cheese? The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bam!, and he said... -Hello Ray. My comment question for you today is, if you were the president, what would you be doing? -So, if you were president, what would you be doing? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comment section below or on Facebook or Twitter. But thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me forum, why didn't you do your homework? [Stalkin Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 37 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 181
Posted by: spongesebastian on Sep 27, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson. (Captioned using UniversalSubtitles.org)

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