CLIP_ President Obama's Anger Translator (C-SPAN)

Anyway as always I want to close on a more serious note. I often joke about tensions between me and the press but honestly what they say doesn't bother me. I understand we have an adversarial system. I'm a mellow sort of guy. And that's why I invited Luther, my anger translator to join me here tonight. Hold on to your lily white butts. In our fast changing world Traditions like the White House correspondents dinner are important. I mean really.....WHAT IS THIS DINNER? And why am I required to come to it?! Jeb Bush, do you really want to do this? Because despite our differences We count on the press To shed light on the most important issues of the day. And we can count on Fox News to terrify All white people with it's nonsense. Sharia Law is coming to Cleveland Run for the **** hills. Ya'll look ridiculous. We won't always see eye to eye Oh and CNN: thank you so much For the wall to wall Ebola coverage. For two whole weeks We were one step away from the Walking Dead. And then ya'll got up and moved onto the next thing. That was awesome Oh, and by the way, if you just haven't noticed You don't have ebola! But I still appreciate the work that you do. Ya'll remember when I had that big old hole In the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and then I plugged it?! Remember that?! Which Obama's Katrina was that one? Was that 19 or what that 20 because I can't remember? Protecting our democracy Is more important than ever. For example the Supreme court ruled that The daughter who gave Ted Cruz six million dollars was just Exercising free speech Yeah, that's the kind of speech like this: I just wasted six million dollars. And it's not just Republicans Hillary will have to raise huge sums of money too. Ooooh yeah She gon' get that money. She gon' get ALL the money Khaleesi is coming to Westeros. So watch out. The non-stop focus on Billionaire dollars causes real problems For our Democracy. And that's why we running for our third term! No, no we're not. We're not? Who the **** said that?! But we do need to stay focused On some big challenges, like climate change. Hey, listen y'all. If you haven't noticed California is bone dry. It looks like a trailer for the new Mad Max movie up in there. Ya'll think that Bradley Cooper can't hear because he wants to talk to Chuck Todd? He needed a glass of water. Come on! The science is clear Nine out of the ten hottest years ever Came in the last decade. Now I'm not a scientist But I do know how to count to ten. Rising seas, more violent storms... You got mosquitoes, sweaty people on the trains Stinkin' it up It's just nasty. I mean, look at what's happening Right now Every serious scientist says we need to act. The Pentagon says it's a national security risk. Miami floods on a sunny day And instead of doing anything about it We got elected officials Throwing snowballs in the senate Okay, okay, okay, I think I got it bro. It is crazy What about our kids? What kind of stupid, short sighted, irresponsible, bull..... Woah woah woah, hey! What? All due respect sir You don't need an anger translator. You need counselling. I'm out of here, man. I ain't trying to get into all this. Go! He crazy! Luther, my anger translator Ladies and gentlemen.