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Japanese Face

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-What's happenin', guys? You know, I'm a pretty good driver, but I'm also guilty of parking over the line, like this chick. You know, I'm gonna say that that was an illegal U-turn and she should probably get a ticket. No, but at 200,000 views in five days, I'm curious as to what went wrong. I mean, if you accidentally press the gas instead of the brake, you think you'd notice it before you hit the curb or the building, or the trashcan or the car or the car or the other car. And there's something else really weird that the owner of the video didn't explain to me. Notice that the footage seems like someone is filming a monitor from a security camera. Now, I don't think that means the video is staged or anything, I mean, no one causes thousands of dollars worth of damage to cars and says, "Dude, this video's gonna go so viral. We're gonna be so Internet famous." That kind of stuff doesn't mean s--t in the real world, I promise you. So hey, you know, Christmastime is almost here. And Santa Claus-- he's a person too and according to this security footage, he's a person who likes to go out and get piss-drunk. Hittin' the eggnog a little early there, Santa? Oh, but it gets better or worse, depending on how you look at things. Oh come on guys. Don't laugh at Santa. He can't help it. I mean, look at him over there nom-nom-nommin' on that car's bumper. Don't forget he's making a list and he's checkin' it twice. Too bad that list is probably scribbled on a bar napkin. No, this video's great. It was on CNN, it was on Jay Leno. Do any of you guys watch Jay Leno? Yeah, I don't either. But take a look at when Santa apparently stumbles over to take a piss near the elevator. All right, as hilarious as it is, I gotta call shenanigans on this one. The push and fall seems just a little too staged there. Um...I'm sorry, Santa, I'm gonna have to call fake on this one. Just a hunch. All that said, it is funny to imagine, you know, you go out to the mall with your girlfriend you do some shopping, you go to leave, you get off the elevator, and suddenly there's Santa Claus standing there with his penis hanging out. I mean, who hasn't had that experience right? Happens every Christmas to me. Oh, Japan. You and your stuff. You know, every time I review a product or a commercial from Japan, the s--t just gets weirder and weirder. This one's called the Japanese Toilet Experience. Oh yeah, it's as good as it sounds. So according to this viral video, you walk into a bathroom and there are these giant creepy faces on the wall. And so you go to sit down and do your business, and I kid you not, the giant creepy face starts yodeling and moving towards you. [creepy yodeling] Oh yeah. This is a real thing. But I mean a giant creepy face coming at you while you sit on the toilet, that would scare the s--t out of you. Literally. Why does this thing exist? Who wants a terrifying face coming at them while they're going to the bathroom? Who invented this? R. Kelly? Does this creepy face work for TSA and this is part of the new airport screening process, Honestly, under certain circumstances, I welcome somebody's face all up in my crotch. This isn't one of those times. If I were at a restaurant, I would literally rather piss at the table than have to go to the bathroom and face this giant creepy head all up in my junk. I've never been so terrified of taking a s--t in my time. And one more thing, if you're gonna make a face like this, at least make it attractive. This ugly bastard's got a mole on his cheek the size of a f--king honeydew. I mean, if that were Jessica Alba's face coming to me at the bathroom, I might reconsider. But you know what else gets all up in my junk while I'm in the bathroom? God, that's weird. The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bing!, and he said... -My comment question of the day is what would you do? -So pretty simple. What would you do? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter. But thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me guys. How do you break an awkward silence? [Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 5 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 212
Posted by: spongesebastian on Nov 22, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson.

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