Funny Accents

See, that’s the problem, though Here in America, when it comes to the English, We mistake accent with intellect Right? We think they’re all smart because no matter what they’re talking about, they sound quite intelligent. It doesn’t really matter He can talk about anything He’ll be like “my belly button is quite itchy.” And we’ll be like, “that dude is smart.” But they’re not all smart, okay. They just sound smart. They look dumb with the crooked teeth and the wacky hair. Oh, no, you go to England, and some of these Englishmen have that elephant man look about them “I know I look a bit frightening, but at least I sound intelligent.” And the English The English have a weird thing with the letter T Because sometimes, they over pronunciate the letter, like that And sometimes, they ignore the letter completely It’s like “What happened?! Where did the letters go?” And there are two Ts in the word letter and yet they’re nowhere to be found It’s quite odd, right? See, I understand if there was like one T and you just missed it You know, that’s fine, whatever. Whatever, one T gone, fine But when they’re two Ts and you just skip over them like that That’s just rude It’s like the letters don’t even matter The English and their Ts. They spend half their days drinking Ts and the other half ignoring them But every accent Every accent has a weird relationship with one letter Like the Russian accent The Russians, they take the letter Y and put it between every other letter Take any sentence, like, “This traffic is unbelievable.” They would say, "this traffic is unbelievable I cannot believe it I’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes." The Israeli accent It’s the letter, it's letter M They take Ms, put an M between every other letter, every other word “Mm, I want-m-to-m- go- m- to-m-get-m…” What do you want, a bag on M&Ms? What the hell are you talking about? And then, of course Then of course, we have the German accent, which Which is just music to my ears They’re crazy with the letter Z. They’re crazy with the Z As a fact, I ran into a German guy this afternoon He was looking at me funny, you know He was staring at me, like “Aren’t you the guy that I saw this morning at the coffee house?” And I was like, “Eh, how do I get out of this?” “Uh, em, I’m terribly sorry, but this must be a case of mistaken identity.” Thank you, guys. That as fun Thank you