Bad Teacher (2011)

Are you excited for tomorrow? Is tomorrow Saturday? No, it's the first day of school. Yea, I'm not gonna go to that. But it's mandatory. Oooh. I don't give a f...[music interrupts] [school bell rings] Elizabeth, you shouldn't be teaching. I mean, I can't think of anyone less suited to being a teacher. [snoring] (Elizabeth) I don't need a blackboard or a classroom, to set an example. So stupid. Morons! Hey, Elizabeth. Do you want to like, grab a bite sometime? (Elizabeth) Are you still a gym teacher? I am, yeah. Then no. Hey, cool. Well, awesome.This went great. A'right. [makes a puckering sound] (Elizabeth) From now on, my full time job is finding a guy who's gonna take care of me. Hi there. Scott Delacorte. Elizabeth Halsey. I'm the new sub. How the watch? Is that a Jaeger LaCoultre? It's the family business. I love how his eyes sparkle when he smiles. (Elizabeth) I want to sit on his... Hey guys! (Elizabeth) Hey. So did you and your wife just move to town? I'm not married. I actually just got out of a relationship. She has such big heart. (Elizabeth) Enormous. If I got a new pair of boobs, he'd be all over me - - but, they're really expensive. Yeah, and you gotta get two of 'em. Who knows, maybe you'll win the bonus. [tires screech, a thud.] Damn it, what bonus? For the state test. Whichever teacher has the highest scoring class, gets a bonus. Things are about to change around here. Recess is over. (girl) We're having a car wash this weekend. Last year's car wash raised $6000. (Elizabeth) Let's do this. Whoa. (man) Lauren Wristman's dad called. He said we should have a car wash every weekend. [crunch] That's bonkers! [sirens] [Madcon - "Begging"] ♪ So why anytime I bleed, you let me go Anytime I feed you get me know ♪ There is no way that LeBron will ever beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has 6 championships. That's you're only argument? It's the only argument I need, Shawn! (Elizabeth) Now, who has the answer to my question. You, chubs. He's.... um... (Elizabeth) [mimics buzzer] Ehhhh. Whoa....wait! Twilight, what did we talk about in class? Don't throw it at her - throw it through her. [kids cheering] Hit her, hit her. ♪ Begging, begging ♪ Sign my yearbook? Hold my balls. [Captions by Captionwire.com]