Anger Management

[♪ music ♪] [Maritime Training Services Inc.] [In case of any conflict between the requirements shown in the movie] [and the company's safety management system (SMS), ] [please follow the company's SMS requirements.] [♪ music ♪] [Anger Management] [♪ music ♪] It happens to everyone who works in a stressful environment. Something appears to go wrong. That feeling starts burning in your chest, like a hot fire, and you can't control it. It bubbles up and out without warning, and suddenly, you're yelling. Anger is a perfectly natural emotional reaction that can, from time to time, overcome even the most rational and calm people. You know the reasons why we should try to limit anger in a working environment, and many people try to suppress their anger, but suppressing frustration and rage only buries the feelings for a little while. Eventually, they're going to spill out in an outburst. Instead, we should be asking ourselves how we can manage our feelings of frustration and anger, in a healthy manner. The objective of this video is to show you some ways you can start to manage and overcome your anger. However, this change won't happen overnight. In this program, you will learn how to handle criticism, how to set goals that will work for you, and new habits you should start practicing to manage anger. [Handling Criticism] Anyone who works in the maritime industry knows it's not an easy life. You face many stressful situations in your long voyages away from home. Physically exhausting work, and close proximity while living with fellow seafarers, can leave you susceptible, make emotions run high, and controlling your anger difficult, especially if you are criticized frequently. We all want what's best for the voyage, and nobody likes hearing that they are doing a bad job. However, it's important to realize that properly communicated criticism can be constructive and help you improve. The person criticizing you might not dislike you personally, they might just want to help. If they didn't care, they wouldn't say anything at all. Let's look at the two steps you can take to respond to criticism in a healthy way. Lessen the hurt. First, accept that you are going to make mistakes. You are human and you are entitled to make mistakes from time to time. Accepting this truth may help you handle constructive criticism. Understand that most of the time people provide constructive criticism. They're trying to help you improve yourself and your work, so don't take it personally. The next step is to examine the criticism. Keep a cool head when someone approaches you with their criticism, and really listen to what the criticism is. Are there any truths to it? Are there any inaccuracies in it? Take a moment to think about their words, and paraphrase only what you agree with in your response. Watch this scenario and think about how this seafarer handles criticism. Mark is late to a meeting to discuss engine maintenance. Part way through the meeting, the Chief Engineer brings up how Mark was late to the meeting. Mark is initially angry that this is being pointed out. He feels like he's being attacked, especially because his being late isn't even relevant to the conversation right now. Mark feels his anger swelling up inside him. But then he remembers that he's a regular person, and he's entitled to make a few mistakes every now and then. Mark things about what the Chief Engineer said and he recognizes to the group that he was late, and makes a quick apology. He promises to do better in the future. Mark also points out that his lateness isn't relevant to the conversation, and asks everyone to stay focused on the matter at hand. They agree with this idea, and proceed with the meeting as if nothing had happened. Remember, don't blame. Listen, think, and calmly respond. [Setting Goals] Another common cause of anger can come from frustration with unattained goals. In these instances, sometimes we get angry at ourselves. We set goals in order to motivate ourselves, and take pride in our work. But nobody likes feeling like they aren't progressing with a goal, whether the goal be personal or professional. The trick is to make sure that you're setting goals correctly. Let's look at the two steps you can take to set better goals. Set realistic goals. You're never going to achieve or feel good about your goals if they are impossible to achieve, or if achieving the goal is out of your hands. Imagine if your goals were to win the lottery, and become a pilot after a year of being a cadet. Going after these unattainable goals would be setting yourself up for disappointment. Whether your goal is career advancement or financial growth, set something more attainable, like setting up an alternative revenue stream, and getting a promotion within the next year. Set measurable goals. Let's say your goal is simply to get in better shape. What does that mean? How will you know you're in better shape? Even if you get into better shape, how will you know you are in as much shape as you'd like to be? Turn your simple goal, get in better shape, and make it more specific by making it measurable. Lose 15 kilograms, run 5 kilometers in 21 minutes. Exercising with these goals in mind will help keep you on track, and let you know exactly when you achieve your goals, so you can set new ones for yourself. Whatever you do, make your goals work for you. Goals are meant to help you be productive, and not to be a source of anger. [Developing New Habits] You may not realize it, but the things that we do when we are angry, are often habits. That is to say when we are angry, we don't think about we want to do before we do them. In this way, we lose control of ourselves. Losing control and having an angry outburst doesn't make you a bad person. It may just mean that you need to change some of your habits. Most habits can be changed in two months or 60 days of consistent practice and awareness. Let's look at the three steps you can take to recognize and change your habits. Recognize your anger-response. Ask yourself what does it feel like when I get angry? Do your shoulders get tight? Do your fists and jaw tense? Do you feel a constricting in your chest? Taking even a brief moment to recognize and be aware of the fact that you are angry is half the battle. Think about it. Now that you know you are angry, take a moment to think about why you are angry. What are you thinking? What do you want to do? Why do you want to do those things? Taking a moment to slow down and think through your impulses can help you realize what you actually want to do is different from what your impulse is. Challenge your impulses. Instead of following your impulses, make an effort to do something different. Consider your criticism seriously. Re-evaluate your goals. Ask yourself why you aren't getting the results you want. Following these three steps will set you on the right path to developing new anger habits. Going through these steps every time you feel angry, for at least two months, will put you well on your way to managing your anger. [Putting What You've Learned to Practice] In this video, you learned about some new techniques you can use to make a change in yourself. Remember, the key is consistency. Do a little bit of anger management every day. Remember to reward yourself when you reach your goals. And don't be too hard on yourself when you fall short. Just keep trying. Every time you fall down, it gets easier to stand back up. [Special thanks to: Rhys Del Rosaio] [Seaspan Ship Management Ltd.] [Maritime Training Services]