Anger Management
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[Maritime Training Services Inc.]
[In case of any conflict between
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[please follow the
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[Anger Management]
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It happens to everyone who
works in a stressful environment.
Something appears
to go wrong.
That feeling starts
burning in your chest,
like a hot fire, and
you can't control it.
It bubbles up and
out without warning,
and suddenly,
you're yelling.
Anger is a perfectly
natural emotional reaction
that can,
from time to time,
overcome even the most
rational and calm people.
You know the reasons why
we should try to limit anger
in a working
environment,
and many people try
to suppress their anger,
but suppressing
frustration and rage
only buries the
feelings for a little while.
Eventually, they're going
to spill out in an outburst.
Instead, we should
be asking ourselves
how we can manage our
feelings of frustration and anger,
in a
healthy manner.
The objective
of this video
is to show
you some ways
you can start to manage
and overcome your anger.
However, this change
won't happen overnight.
In this program,
you will learn
how to
handle criticism,
how to set goals
that will work for you,
and new habits you should start
practicing to manage anger.
[Handling Criticism]
Anyone who works
in the maritime industry
knows it's
not an easy life.
You face many
stressful situations
in your long voyages
away from home.
Physically
exhausting work,
and close proximity while
living with fellow seafarers,
can leave
you susceptible,
make emotions
run high,
and controlling
your anger difficult,
especially if you are
criticized frequently.
We all want what's
best for the voyage,
and nobody likes hearing
that they are doing a bad job.
However, it's
important to realize
that properly
communicated criticism
can be constructive
and help you improve.
The person criticizing you
might not dislike you personally,
they might
just want to help.
If they didn't care, they
wouldn't say anything at all.
Let's look at the
two steps you can take to
respond to criticism
in a healthy way.
Lessen the hurt.
First, accept that you are
going to make mistakes.
You are
human and
you are entitled to make
mistakes from time to time.
Accepting
this truth
may help you handle
constructive criticism.
Understand that
most of the time
people provide
constructive criticism.
They're trying to help you
improve yourself and your work,
so don't
take it personally.
The next step is to
examine the criticism.
Keep a
cool head
when someone approaches
you with their criticism,
and really listen to
what the criticism is.
Are there any
truths to it?
Are there any
inaccuracies in it?
Take a moment to
think about their words,
and paraphrase only what
you agree with in your response.
Watch this
scenario and
think about how this
seafarer handles criticism.
Mark is late to a meeting to
discuss engine maintenance.
Part way through
the meeting,
the Chief Engineer brings up
how Mark was late to the meeting.
Mark is initially angry that
this is being pointed out.
He feels like
he's being attacked,
especially because
his being late
isn't even relevant to
the conversation right now.
Mark feels his anger
swelling up inside him.
But then he remembers
that he's a regular person,
and he's entitled to make a
few mistakes every now and then.
Mark things about what
the Chief Engineer said
and he recognizes to
the group that he was late,
and makes a
quick apology.
He promises to do
better in the future.
Mark also points out
that his lateness
isn't relevant to
the conversation,
and asks everyone to stay
focused on the matter at hand.
They agree
with this idea,
and proceed with the meeting
as if nothing had happened.
Remember,
don't blame.
Listen, think,
and calmly respond.
[Setting Goals]
Another common
cause of anger
can come from frustration
with unattained goals.
In these instances, sometimes
we get angry at ourselves.
We set goals in order
to motivate ourselves,
and take pride
in our work.
But nobody
likes feeling
like they aren't
progressing with a goal,
whether the goal be
personal or professional.
The trick is to make sure that
you're setting goals correctly.
Let's look at the two steps
you can take to set better goals.
Set realistic goals.
You're never going to achieve
or feel good about your goals
if they are
impossible to achieve,
or if achieving the goal
is out of your hands.
Imagine if your goals
were to win the lottery,
and become a pilot after
a year of being a cadet.
Going after these
unattainable goals
would be setting yourself
up for disappointment.
Whether your goal is career
advancement or financial growth,
set something
more attainable,
like setting up an
alternative revenue stream,
and getting a promotion
within the next year.
Set measurable goals.
Let's say your goal is
simply to get in better shape.
What does
that mean?
How will you know
you're in better shape?
Even if you get
into better shape,
how will you
know you are
in as much shape
as you'd like to be?
Turn your simple goal,
get in better shape,
and make it more specific
by making it measurable.
Lose 15 kilograms,
run 5 kilometers in 21 minutes.
Exercising with
these goals in mind
will help keep
you on track,
and let you know exactly
when you achieve your goals,
so you can set new
ones for yourself.
Whatever you do, make
your goals work for you.
Goals are meant to
help you be productive,
and not to be a
source of anger.
[Developing New Habits]
You may not
realize it,
but the things that we
do when we are angry,
are often habits.
That is to say
when we are angry,
we don't think about we want
to do before we do them.
In this way, we lose
control of ourselves.
Losing control and
having an angry outburst
doesn't make
you a bad person.
It may just mean that you need
to change some of your habits.
Most habits can be
changed in two months
or 60 days of consistent
practice and awareness.
Let's look at the
three steps you can take
to recognize and
change your habits.
Recognize your
anger-response.
Ask yourself what does it
feel like when I get angry?
Do your shoulders
get tight?
Do your fists
and jaw tense?
Do you feel a constricting
in your chest?
Taking even
a brief moment
to recognize and be aware
of the fact that you are angry
is half
the battle.
Think about it.
Now that you
know you are angry,
take a moment to think
about why you are angry.
What are
you thinking?
What do you
want to do?
Why do you want to
do those things?
Taking a moment to slow down
and think through your impulses
can help you realize what
you actually want to do
is different from
what your impulse is.
Challenge your impulses.
Instead of following
your impulses,
make an effort to
do something different.
Consider your
criticism seriously.
Re-evaluate
your goals.
Ask yourself why you aren't
getting the results you want.
Following these
three steps
will set you on
the right path to
developing new
anger habits.
Going through these steps
every time you feel angry,
for at least
two months,
will put you well on your
way to managing your anger.
[Putting What You've
Learned to Practice]
In this video, you learned
about some new techniques
you can use to make
a change in yourself.
Remember, the
key is consistency.
Do a little bit of anger
management every day.
Remember to reward yourself
when you reach your goals.
And don't be too hard on
yourself when you fall short.
Just keep trying.
Every time
you fall down,
it gets easier
to stand back up.
[Special thanks to:
Rhys Del Rosaio]
[Seaspan Ship
Management Ltd.]
[Maritime Training Services]