The Heart of the Matter Class #4 : Does Wedding kill the romance

When a nice thing like a romance begins It's slaughtered by the wedding, right? Why? Why? Because everyone is getting into his own trip What happened before the wedding? What does romance mean? Sharing Showing how I can care more for... I mean that's Romance. [offscreen] bringing gifts, taking her places That's right, always, that's right. [offscreen] but why were they sharing? the question is why were they sharing? Right. Do we here believe that the best way to kill a romance is to get married? Do we really believe that here? The answer is No. No, but for most, that's the way it works. Our question was, why does it work? We know why it works. Because romance was this aspect of... not a real sharing, but this is the procedure for romance Are you going to get angry in the romance? I mean, then it doesn't continue. So you want to continue the romance, when do you finish a romance? When each one gets into his own trip. When there is no further reason to continue [offscreen: the sharing] the romance the pretending [offscreen chatter] That's right... Well we are calling it pretending but that's right, it's "gimmel rishonot", which are in a frame of reference, really of sharing I mean, even "Binah" isn't that... now we understand why "Keter, Chochma, Binah" are considered "GAR", right? It's considered the first three. Why is it considered... it has an affinity with reality because even "Binah" is tripping and "Binah" is not like the romance of the usual kind of romance which is only on the contrary, to embellish oneself by "where can I take you?" "oh let's go to the best restaurants" Get married, no more best restaurants, no more anything you know? because there was not an altruistic... [ofscreen] they might go still to the restaurant but the relationship is not going to be the same It's not the same... The "masach" is the wedding, the "masach" is the wedding... The "chuppah" it covers... does it have to be that way? Absolutely not. But it will have to be that way if the romance if the romance was not "gimmel rishonot" if romance was the beginning? that means it's the "gimmel rishonot" right? the first 3? then the wedding and what follows after would have to be in a similar vain, right? It's the effect But the answer is that in the romance [offscreen] there is no restriction That's right... It was not in that same vain as being totally altruistic But if it was totally altruistic, like "gimmel rishonot" are? The wedding should follow that way... The wedding should not make the difference The wedding is for another reason That's because of connections of souls, and things of that nature But nothing to do with the consciousness The consciousness of the individual should not change because of the wedding If their consciousness was at the proper level during the romance