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Creative Ways to Help Your Child Learn New Behaviors

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Creative Ways to Help Your Child Learn New Behaviors One of the things that we ask parents to do is to try think creatively about how you can help your children learn new skills. You have to remember their brains are different. They are going to learn differently. And if you're punitive or over-bearing, they are going to retract from you; they are not going to learn. One of the things we ask parents to do is to think about, for example puppet play or role playing or little skits. And one of the things that I do, of course being the very sophisticated woman that I am, is find things that I think will intrigue the child and get their attention. And so we might give the child a choice, "Which puppet do you want to use?" And maybe they'd choose a puppet and I can choose another puppet and so we say, "Let's practice showing respect." And first I'll say for example, "Honey, time to go to bed. And you show me no respect first." This is great for the kid; they get to act out and say, "No way! And we say, "Oh yeah, that was really no respect at all. Now let's practice respect." So it might look something like, "Honey, time to go to bed." Child responds with, "No way! I'm not going to bed! I don't care what you say!" And then we would say to the child, "Wow that was really good no respect. Do you want to try a re-do and show respect? And usually the child is so engaged, of course they do. So I'll say, "Honey, time to go to bed." Now the child has choices. They can say, "Okay mom, I'll go to bed now." Or they might say, which I consider respect as well, "Mom, I don't want to go to bed yet. Could I stay up 5 more minutes and have a compromise?" In my book, that's still respect. And I think it's realistic. So..."Well what kind of idea did you have for a compromise?" "Mom can I finish the show and then go straight to bed?" "Okay if you remember your part of the deal is you go straight to bed, when the show is over. My part of the deal is that I let you stay up. Fair enough?” Child responds with, "Fair enough." And we can get a little high five. Now that child has practiced, they have been empowered. They're going to learn this way because they are engaged, they're connected and I'm clearly their coach and their ally. Some parents say, "Well, I can't do that with my adolescent." In the first place, what we know from research is that your child developmentally is at least half their chronological age if they have come from a hard place. There are regions of the brain that didn't get to mature. Also, every child loves to play. So doing skits with your body like, "No way! I'm not going to bed!" The kids love that. I've done that with older kids. I've used this with 16 year olds who were so behaviorally disordered that they had to be institutionalized in a residential treatment facility. Being playful, being engaging, giving the child latitude to creative...those are ways to teach a child to learn. Again, just like God came to us in Jesus, we go to the child, not on our terms but in words and terms and games they can understand. And games and words and engagements that can truly touch them and help them heal.

Video Details

Duration: 3 minutes and 54 seconds
Language: English
License: Dotsub - Standard License
Genre: None
Views: 0
Posted by: jenfridley on Feb 25, 2018

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