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7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN?!

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Captioned by SpongeSebastian using UniversalSubtitles.org -So, you wanna move this into the bedroom? -Ooh, you nasty. Lemme just turn on the lights. What's wrong? -C-c-c-cockroaches. -Don't tell me you afraid of a couple damn roaches. These motherfuckers like my roommates. I even gave names to all of them. -How many are there? -Mmm... 250. -(whimpers) -Hope you ain't afraid of snakes. (snake hisses) -(gasps) (body thuds) -Aww, look how excited he is to meet you, Miguel. Why don't you go say hi? -(screaming) -Wow! This is like watching the Aminal Planet. -(muffled groan) Dirty houses. Something most people consider a "problem." And I don't know about you, but they scare me. But when I was little, I was scared of a lot more than just dirty houses. When I was little, I would turn every little problem into something huge. This is sign language for "huge", by the way. I don't know sign language. But anyways, when I look back at all my problems, they were just little. (laughs) -(gasps) Shane! Lucky just got hit by a car! -What? -Just kidding. He got hit by a bus. Go scrape him up. -Okay, maybe that was a big problem. But there was a lot of little things too. Like being afraid to go to a boy-girl party in middle school. -All right, all you horny girls and boys. It's time to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. Shane, you're up first. And you're going with Gladeth. -(gasping) My special place is tripping. -Let's do this. (beeping) -So Gladys, what do you like to do? -Uhh... -Okay. -Can I use my puppet? It's easier to talk through her. -Sure. Hi, Mrs. Puppet. What's your name? -(deep voice): Shut up and fuck me! -(gasping) -Yeah. True story. Another thing I was terrified of was my friends finding out that I peed the bed. (peaceful music playing) -(snores) Oh yeah, take it Bella. Take my ice-cold dick. -(thinking): Oh shit, I peed the bed. What am I gonna do? -Yeah, let's make Jacob watch. Fuckin' dirty Indian. -Okay, maybe it'll be dry by morning. (rooster crows) Fuck! -(groans) Mornin'. What's that smell? -Smell? What smell? Smells like morning to me. It smells like a cat box. -Your cat peed in my bed. -What? -(meows) -(sighs) Well, I guess that's it. Mom said if she peed the bed again, we'd have to put her to sleep. All right, come on Pop-Tart. Time to die. -(meows) -Yeah, scared of something that wasn't even that big of a deal. When I look back at it, I'm like, okay so I peed the bed. It's not that bad. It's not like I shit the bed. (rooster crows) Damn it. That would be bad. But I didn't do it. Anyways, the whole point is, when you're little, things can scare you. And then you grow up and you realize it was nothing. So here's my question to you: What were you scared of when you were little? Was it the dark? Was it your friends finding out you peed the bed? Were you scared that you'd grow up and have no friends and end up making YouTube videos? Whatever it was, leave it in the comment and the video response right there, in my crotch. Oh yeah, that comment feels so good. (groans) Why do I have this? (laughs like SpongeBob) Oh, and by the way, I worked with Take 180 again on a video where they turn me into a six-foot-tall Lego and I'm gonna warn you, I'm wearing the world's worst shirt. Not only is it two sizes too big, it make me look like I have a (?), but it also looks like a large porn star just released their soon-to-be-children on my chest. Check out it; you'll see what I mean. All right, I'm gonna go, I will see you guys later. Bye. Oh! Special effects! (laughs) Okay, I have way too much time on my hands. See you guys later. -Hope you ain't afraid of snakes. (snake hisses) -(gasps) (body thuds)

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 57 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Shane Dawson
Director: Shane Dawson
Views: 313
Posted by: spongesebastian on Jul 18, 2010

Shane Dawson video. (Captioned by Sebastian using UniversalSubtitles.org)

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