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2. ANGER and Depression - Facing the Mirror of Consciousness as Reflection

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Desteni Presents: Vlogs from the Afterlife: Ed - Part 2 Hi, this is Ed Again. Con..yea, Continuing..about my First Introduction.. Experience of Self-Forgiveness. Now..this Depression, Disgust..Disappointment.. Anger - i Experienced..i couldn't Rip out, i couldn't Avoid, i couldn't Escape.. i couldn't Die From, i couldn't Ignored, because in the Dimensions: you become.. That Entire Experience: of Who You Are - Completely..i mean, becomes You! it's Not Even a: "In"'s not's Not in Separation of You, because It IS - Your very Being. and..i became more Frustrated because.. there was No Other way to..Assist myself but to Apply Self-Forgiveness and in that - Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty. (smile) i've said before, it was Extremely, Extensively..way beyond Difficult to me, because.. as i've said: you See What you Have Done - Not only to yourself but to others.. you Even Also Experience that Within You: Consequences of Your Nature - the Consequences of Your.. very Being of who you Were On Earth. you Experience Within You, and Also what you've Done Unto Others - as Yourself it is Literally Interesting that - we think and believe that What We Do..will have No Effect.. on Anything or Anyone Existing in Absolute, Complete the Principle of Oneness and Equality..(smirk) you Experience that Which You Do Unto Others. and i Did. and.. when i Looked at myself, i went: how?..Excuse my Language.. how the i suppose to Forgive myself (smirk)? well the "How"..i Realized is Quite Simple - You Stop. so..i began with: i forgive myself that i have allowed myself.. to not want to apply self-forgiveness because i believe that i must be punished .. and condemned into an Infinite Hell of my own experience to pay for what i have done (laugh) and.. my First Self-Forgiveness Statement was All Self-Judgment based, like.. Completely, Entirely Self-Judgment..even in my very Self-Forgiveness Sentences i was judging myself - that i Started Noticing After awhile.. because, what i was Experiencing was in me was becoming more and more Aggravated - within myself and..i Went Crazy - i Literally went Insane..because..i really Felt.. like Scum, like you don't Deserved to Exist - After what you Have Done i really Wanted to Find Methods, to just Not Exist. i just Didn't want to Face myself i Didn't want to Anymore See what i Had Done..what i am Still Doing - in that moment of my Experience and..Eventually i really..Looked at myself, and i've said: Ed, have a see what you Have Done.. this is what you have Become - you Did See It, It is Here, you Experience it.. this is You at this Moment..and..if i Continue to Participate in this Very Experience.. of myself, at this moment now, Refusing to do Self-Forgiveness because.. i basically Refused to do Self-Forgiveness..because.. i Refused to do Self-Forgiveness, out of the Fear..of what i might Realize about me because when you do that Really..Actually.. Open Up yourself and Actually See yourself - Directly and i was Shit Scared of that, i was so Afraid. Even thought, i could Already See.. Everything else of me that i have done: within me and Towards, Others - as myself, there was more..and that's where Self-Honesty comes in, because.. in Applying have to be..Self-Honest with you from the Perspective of: taking that Point of Self-Responsibility - for what you have, Accepted and Allowed and Together with Self-Responsibility, that's where Self-Forgiveness Comes in, because.. you're Taking Self-Responsibility for you, are being Self-Honest with you.. in yourself in that Moment: and Really Understanding and Seeing.. you know, what you Have Done and Become because..i Realize it's not that it Goes Away - it Doesn't. you're Always With you - with All of You, but the Difference Comes in.. where in me Applying Self-Forgiveness, Together with Self-Honesty.. at Every single Point in Every single Moment is that - I Will Not Do It Again i Will Not Accept and Allow myself to Participate in such Horrific..Designs, Placements, Constructs..Perceptions, Ideas of Me - Again i Will Not Because i in that Moment, have Stood Up Within Me: i have taken Responsibility for me, i have Applied Effective Self-Forgiveness for me.. i was Self-Honest in that moment for me, as me - and That Stands, That Stays with you as yourself - Absolutely. that's where my Certainty of me..Originated. from me Realizing, for myself that, in Applying my Self-Forgiveness Effectively.. in Absolute Self-Honesty - in that Taking Self-Responsibility for me, i Will Not Do It Again and i'll Walk Through Everything that i have Accepted and Allowed.. Knowing, Being the very Existence of Me as Not Again Participating in such.. Horrific Applications. because they're Horrific. the mind that we have Created is Horrific Alright, this is Ed. i've got nine mins. on the Thank you very much for..being Here

Video Details

Duration: 8 minutes and 58 seconds
Country: South Africa
Language: English
Producer: Desteni
Views: 145
Posted by: desteniteam1 on Jun 29, 2009

about my first introduction experience of self forgiveness. Now this depression, this disgust, disappointment, anger I experience I couldnt rip out.

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