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Iboga-Meeting the Divine

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In 2013, while living in San Pancho Mexico I started a journey into the iboga world I met people that shared how their lives have been transformed by it's healing guidance I felt curious and called to investigate more closely on ibogaine's mysterious healing properties This is the story of my experience of my of a psychospiritual ibogaine treatment On August 2013, I meet for the first time with an ibogaine provider her words transmit the clarity, depth and intensity that iboga might bring I read books, watch documentaries about iboga and the bwiti On October, I meet with White Crystal Dog an ibogaine provider I get to know him more before I decide to start treatment with him My treatment starts December 1st with small incremental and accumulative doses of iboga root bark ending on a final stronger lay down dose of ibogaine total alkaloid During the first days of the treatment I taste the bitter earthy root and place some in my altar I pray to iboga for healing I stay at home, meditate and feel the medicine running through my body My body feels heavy and relaxed I am in a dream like state My feet are alive as I feel the ground The outside is bright with color and light My inner world is amplified I feel I am only with others from the heart I've been taking iboga for a few days now I notice how I have many intense dreams There's depth, emptiness and space lot's of space ibogaine feels like it releases the existential grasp the seeking I feel more present in my body now It's been almost two weeks now I feel prepared for the lay down session The day starts with a light breakfast and drinking lots of coconut water The ceremony will start around 7 pm I will meet with Jonathan at the beach for sunset I write a letter to my ancestors and my family with my intention asking for guidance to release old patterns to heal what needs to be healed and to fully come into my power I add pictures of my parents and grandparents to my altar I also add the letter The session takes place at the house of Los Abuelitos (the grandparents) The room has been arranged with candles and music The ceremony starts outside by the almond tree We each make a prayer of gratitude We ask for guidance, safety and for healing We make an offer of tobacco to our guides and ancestors I am given my first dose of ibogaine total alkaloid I sit by the tree and ask for a safe journey and to be able to surrender to the medicine I am nervous and excited I go inside and lay down in the bed the music is playing I notice my eyes cannot focus well my head feels swirly and my body feels very heavy I come into a meditative state as soon as I start feeling the medicine at some point Jonathan checks my blood pressure he will be taking care of me for the whole night I am given my second dose of total alkaloid My body feels as if it was melted into my state I hear the word forgiveness and I recognize my grandfather my father's father speaking to me he says I have to forgive my father before he dies that he cannot die before I forgive him In that moment I surrender and forgive my father completely, fully I experience how when I forgive him an energetic part of me leaves it is no longer attached to me I feel liberated I experience how that energetic aspect had changed the way I was the way I behaved I have many visions on how it impacted some of my relationships I see a series of events all linked to that way of being related to that non-forgiveness I experience myself in a new way I feel very soft, vulnerable with a child like innocence There was a deep sense of knowing and recognizing the bond with my family I felt the history of humanity running through my veins Still there's so much that I do not remember it felt as if there was a download and cleanse of lifetime’s experiences At one point I saw different moving shapes of different materials that changed according to its vibration and rhythm from a large black mercury sea to a fluorescent fussy ball It seemed as a vision of how life manifested in different forms according to the beat of the creative life force Once again I would go in and out of visions too many journeys and so many gifts After a while I started feeling like the medicine was becoming less strong At about 4 in the morning I fell asleep The next morning I awoke feeling tired and sensitive to my surroundings still in awe about my experience I felt renewed and lost in a large space filled with unknowings after my treatment I experienced being in a state of stillness from where all possibilities arise It was hard to find words and meanings to communicate to others I felt silence was a gift that moved me through the ways of my being I had a clear mind and the quiet space inside me was filled with gratitude, with forgiveness and love

Video Details

Duration: 10 minutes and 49 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Paulina
Director: Paulina
Views: 113
Posted by: trueisense on May 31, 2014

This video is part of the autobiographical description of an integral research on the use of ibogaine for transformative practice. It describes the experience of an ibogaine treatment in San Pancho, Mexico. It is important to understand that each ibogaine experience is unique. The use of a sacred medicinal plant has many implications, safety and awareness of its possible effects on the body and mind are elemental. The use of psychedelics is not suitable for every person.
Paulina Alanis, MA

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