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CRAZY GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL!!

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-Hey, what's up, you guys? So this week, I made a sequel to the Dawson's Creek spoof I did a couple months ago. So if you haven't seen that one, click right here. This video's pretty important to me 'cause it's about a feeling I'm sure a lot of you guys get. The feeling about being unwanted, not good enough. Or the feeling of having to change yourself for somebody else. So hopefully you guys enjoy it and I will see you after the video. -I don't wanna wait For our lives to be over I want to know right now what it will be I don't wanna wait For our lives to be over Is it me or is this bitch Creepy (vocalizing) -Man, what am I gonna do? I broke up with Jen and now Joey hates me. I wonder if Joey will ever realize the kiss I had with Jen was to say good-bye. And now I wanna kiss Joey to say hello. -Hello, Dawson. (giggles) -Why are you under my bed? -Your dad put bars on the windows, so I had to dig an underground tunnel that connects from my bedroom to yours. -But you live ten miles away. -Yeah, it took me three days. I haven't slept yet so I'm starting to hallucinate. -Really? -Yeah, right now I'm hallucinating that I have a big rubber fist up your ass. -(chuckles nervously) Dawson, I wanna be with you forever. I know it could ruin our friendship, but I'm in love with you. -Joey, I love you. (romantic music plays) (glass shatters) -How could you cheat on me, you fucking whore?! -Fuck you! -I wish I could but your penis is too small! -It's not my fault; all the men in my family have small penises. -Not all the men. -Don't worry, Dawson honey. Everything is fine. -I hope you don't need your car 'cause I'm gonna blow it the fuck up! -Oh, he's kidding. You know your father, big ol' prankster. (explosion) (chuckles nervously) Is he doing sound effects again? I sure hope he doesn't do that gun one. -I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch! (gunshots) -Oh, there it is. Bye, Dawson. -Wow. You're so lucky your family's normal. -Oh, my God, I can't believe this. My parents are getting a divorce. Oh, there's so many emotions going through my head right now. Joe, what's going through your head? -(singing "Peanut Butter Jelly Time") -Nothing. -I'm sorry, Joey. I can't be with you right now. If my parents can't even be in love, then how can I? Love doesn't exist! (sobbing) (iPhone ringing) -Dawson? -No, it's Pacey. -(disappointedly) Aw. -Thanks. -Sorry, Pacey. What's up? -There's a little something I wanted to give you. -Really? -Yeah, but don't get excited. I mean, It's kind of stupid you know, but I gotta give it to you before this Friday. -Okay, well I'll stop right by today and get it. Oh, but first I have to go to Dawson's house. I've been waiting for him to call me all day. -You're gonna be waiting a long time, Joe. -What do you mean? -Dawson's only capable of loving himself, Joe. When are you gonna see that? -Well, what am I supposed to do? Fall out of love with Dawson and in love with you? -(chuckles nervously) Yeah, that's crazy. -I mean, you're like the exact opposite of Dawson. He's smart, sexy, caring, funny, intelligent, rich... -I guess I... -Responsible, tall, broad-shouldered, well-endowed, talented... -I get it, Joe. -And you're just...Pacey. -Yeah. I guess I am. -So, what did you want to give me again? -No, uh, it was nothing. -All right, talk to you later, Pace. -Yeah, later Joe. -Hey bro, don't wait up for me. Got a hot date tonight with...a girl. -Oh, really? How hot is she? -(scoffs) She's so hot. She has these big fake boobs with nipples and long hair with big fat woman hips (retches) -Have fun on your man-date. -Fuck you, Pacey! -(sighs) (Joey sighs) -Aww, what's wrong, Joe? -Are you eating ice cream with a chicken wing? -Yeah. Baby wants what the baby wants. -You had the baby a year ago. -Let's talk more about you. -I don't know. Dawson just doesn't seem to want me and I don't know why. -Well, I'd start with shaving your legs. -But you said my hairy legs were cute. -Yeah, cute like a puppy, Joey. But boys don't want to fuck puppies, do they? No. They want to fuck pretty girls that aren't pregnant. -I guess I could try a little harder with my looks. -You know what you need? -A psychiatric evaluation? -Yeah, but you also need a makeover. -But who would do it? -Oh, I know just the girl. (The Art of Losing by American Hi-Fi playing) -Wha-oh, wha-oh Wha-oh, wha-oh Last call now I'm outta time And I don't got no valentine Singled out, now I stand alone The underdog in a modern world Suburbia is hot tonight But nothing seems to feel alright I don't want your sympathy I just need a little therapy At least that's what they say to me Hey ho let's go I'm gonna start a riot, you don't wanna fight it One two, one two Don't tell me what to do I don't wanna be like you Can't you see I'm my own worst enemy Knock me down I'll keep on moving It's the art of losing -How do I look? -Girl, you look like a stupid trashy gutter-slut ho. It's perfect! -Wha-oa, wha-oh Wha-oh, wha-oh Wha-oa, wha-oh Wha-oh, wha-oa Two, three, four! Hey ho let's go I'm gonna start a riot, you don't wanna fight it One two, one two We're the kids, we're the kids We're the kids in America -Joey. -Pacey? -Wow, you look like a black person. -Thanks. -Joe, I know I'm not the perfect guy. You know I know I'm not smart or rich or really handsome but... I love you. And I would love you till the day I die. And when I'm with you, I feel like I'm something, not just... Pacey. -Pacey, I... Dawson? -I'm an idiot. I love you and I don't want to make you wait anymore. (Last Song by DaveDays playing) -Pacey... you're an amazing friend but I love Dawson. -Well, I hope you two are happy together. And I hope you're happy, Dawson. You got everything you ever wanted. Might as well have this. -Pacey, wait! -He wants to go to prom with me? I never even knew he was gay. -Their life is so dramatic. So the reason I wanted to make that video is I know I get that feeling sometimes of I should change myself for somebody else or I'm not good enough. Or that feeling of I need somebody else to complete me. And that's just not true and it's not the way to live. So the cheesy moral of the day is be you and say fuck you to anybody to doesn't like it. So here's my question of the day: Since summer's almost over, what was one memorable experience you had? Mine, as cheesy as it sounds, is probably just this. This summer, I've been able to experiment and do longer videos with more characters and storylines and you guys seem to be supporting it and not complaining, so thank you. And PS, the back of my hair isn't done and I have a rash on my lips from all the lipstick. 'Cause I know a lot of the comments are gonna be like, "You look like shit, Shane." Yes, I agree and I know. Oh, by the way, the song at the end is by fellow YouTuber DaveDays and the link to the iTunes is in the crotch. Music in my crotch All right you guys, I gotta go. See you later. Ooh, double-handed, ooh! Captioned by SpongeSebastian -(chuckles nervously)

Video Details

Duration: 11 minutes and 6 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Shane Dawson
Director: Shane Dawson
Views: 275
Posted by: spongesebastian on Aug 8, 2010

From Shane Dawson.
Captioned using UniversalSubtitles.org

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