Apple- virus

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Hello, I'm a Mac. And I'm a PC Atchoo! Bless you, are you OK? No, I'm not OK, I've got that virus that's going round, you'd better stay back It's OK, I'm gonna be fine. Don't be a hero, Last year there were 140,000 known viruses for PCs. PCs..not Macs. ..I think I'm gonna crash now. OK, if you would I could... ...help..