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Goofy Run

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-What's happenin', guys? So let's just get right into it. There's this video floating around appropriately titled Ducks vs. Wind. Okay, so despite the fact that this has got a million views in a month, this video is both tragic and funny. I mean, it's like they're ROFLing, but you know, without all the laughter and good times. "But Ray, the duckies are so cute!" I know, man whose voice is unreasonably high, but sometimes Mother Nature is kind of an a--hole. I'm sure they're in pain rolling around. It's not like they're out there having a good time like.... -Whee! Talkin' about Duck Tales, woo-ooh -But here's the good thing. By the end, it looks like they all regroup and make it out okay. [children cheer] What? Don't thank me. I'm not a hero, I was just over here scratchin' my ass. It was the mother duck who had all her ducks in a row, so to speak. Okay, so sometimes someone sends me a clip of footage and I have little to no context regarding to what's going on. Which is always fun, 'cause then we get to make up some s--t. So all I know is there's this house on fire here, but pay attention to this victim here. [indistinct yells] What the f--k? When I first saw this video, I was like, "Man, Jesus has really let himself go." Nah, I'm kidding, that's not Jesus. It's Lt. Dan. No, but seriously, what's that guy's deal? I think this happened in Canada? Do all Canadians react like this when there's a house fire? Acting all retarded and flipping off the paramedics and stuff? Seriously Canada, what's that all aboot? Either way, this video was uploaded like ten months ago, and it kind of just sat there until about five days ago when all the blogs picked it up and then it spread around like an STD at the Jersey Shore. And in the last two days, it's gotten over 250,000 views. Geezus! And nobody can tell me why Russell Brand there is trying to upstage a house fire. Well, honestly, I'm glad the guy seems to be okay, and hey, you know, at least he's keeping a positive attitude. So there's this Flash game called Qwop. "You mean wop?" No, that's racist. It's called Qwop and if you've ever played Qwop, you know where I'm going with this. This game is literally the stupidest s--t I've ever seen. All you have to do is make this jalopy ass dude run 100 meters. That's it. 100 meters for one side to the other, and it's hard as f--k. And this dude made a funny video demonstrating how difficult it is to get this guy to run straight. -And it's f--king impossible. So, uh, and I'm commentating this while I'm playing. I'm struggling to get my character to take the proper running stance. But, what it is is you are an Olympic runner by some incredible feat but apparently this guy has no bones or cartilage and you have to somehow control this weird-ass to 100 meter finish line. -Now this video is at about 100,000 views and it's six minutes long and if you watch the whole thing, it's hilarious 'cause the guy's humor is so dry. -Yeah, that looked painful. All right, here we go, I'm trying the same technique. As a wise man once said, "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." Well, I have yet to take the first step, but I sure as f--k am making some progress by this stance. This is crazy. Uh-oh. Damn it. -Now I'm actually with the guy on this one. What is with this game if you can't get this goofy-ass f--king alcoholic to run straight? What does he, have inner ear infection? Why are you even on the track team if you run this f--king goofy? He does in fact run like a Welshman. Now if you're watching the video, I had to go try it out and I couldn't figure it out either. Seriously, go try it out. It's the dumbest s--t ever. I say it's dumb 'cause I can't do it. But seriously, try it out. Try to make that idiot run and swear to you, after an hour you wish you could make him run off a cliff. I mean, the little duckies couldn't run 'cause the wind was blowing them over. I don't know what the hell this freakin' zombie's problem is. But you know what else runs like a Welshman? The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bam!, and that Welshman said... -If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? -So if you were a Smurf, what would your name be? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter. But thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me guys, how did the hobo get in your bathtub? [Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian -About 2,000 more meters. No, no, no, no, no! [clunk!]

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 28 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 290
Posted by: spongesebastian on Dec 8, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson.

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