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Russell Peter - Women are always thinking

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Crazy. Women are little crazy on you, you know?

As the problem with the men and women situation is

Here is the actual, I will breaking it down what the problem is

There problem is, is that women are always thinking. Always!

Their brains are continususly working

They never stop thinking. It doesn't have to be about them or you. They are just thinking about shit all the time

Right now, Vicky could be sitting there and looking at the stage and "I wonder what is the stage made out of?"

Just did in her head, Just...

See! She is laughing cuz that's what she was thinking just now. She was like "I wonder what is it made out of."

"Is that microphone heavy? What if it is a heavy microphone?"

They are just always thinking. They just think of the shit all the time.

Even when they are sleeping. That's why women wake up: "I had a weird dream.'

I wake up and I was like I wish I could remember my fuXking dream. I don't remember my dreams

"Oh my God! ER!"

You ever have a girl, Have you ever have your girlfriend wake up from a dream

and she dreamt about you and you did some fxxked up shit in her dream, she wakes up and mad at you?

"Hey babe, you don't fuXking touch me!"

"What did I do?"

"You know what you did!"

" I woke up?"

"I wish you didn't!"

But women are always thinking! Their brains are continususly moving!

They are always exercising that brain.

Guys have the ability to do something that women can't do. I don't know if you can't do it or you just choose not to.

I dont if you afraid your brain will shut off if you do this shit or something?

But guys have the ability to sit there for like 15 mintues

Stare off into space and think about nothing


When I say nothing, I mean there isn't one single thought in our head

Like if you would have put a camera in our head

To see what we were thinking. It will just be a blank screen.

and best! and Best, a screen safer, that's it, just this.

And women can't handle that shit

Cuz women will always come over to you when you are having your 15 minutes of thoughtless time and always come over

"What are you thinking about?"

Have you ever noticed how fuXking scared we get when you do that?

"What are you thinking about?" "Son of a bitch!"

And we will tell you what we are thinking about. "Nothing~"

And here is the thing, about a month into a relationship, women will look at you and go

"Promise me something."

"Sure, anything, what?"


"You will never lie to me."

"I promise."

And that's the first time we lied to you.

It's messed up is when you tell your women the truth

And that's the wrong answer

You tell her the truth and that's not what she wanted to hear.

They tell you "Never lie to me." We tell you the truth. And that's not what you want to hear.

Doesn't have to be a good truth or bad truth, because we aren't in a different truth. But they don't want to fuXking hear about it.

That's why when they ask me, "What are you thinking about?"

And we go, "Nothing."

We just told you the truth.

But that's not what you wanted to hear.

"Come on. you gotta be thinking about something~" "No, I wasn't. It was just nothing."

"There wasn't anything in my head, nothing."


They start accusing you.

"Why won't you tell me what you are thinking?"

"What do you think? I am hiding my fuXking thoughts?"

"Even if I was, they are my FuXking thoughts!"

"If I want it to be real, I would have said them."

" You always do this shit!" "Do what shit?"

"Why won't you tell me what you are thinking about?"

"Cuz I wasn't thinking about anything!"

"Share with me!" ....

"Share what? You fuxking psycho!"

And it is that moment when we have to make a decision ...

You forced us to lie to you

We have to invent a story right then there

To tell you what we were thinking

Just so you don't think we are retarded .....

"Alright...Alright...I will tell you what I was thinking."

"I was just thinking..... about....."

"How pretty you are."

"Is this real?"

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 18 seconds
Country: Canada
Language: English
Producer: Russell Peter
Views: 395
Posted by: karhee on May 12, 2012

From standup show

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