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What do I believe?

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I just had an e-mail from a Christian who said "You're very quick to mock other people's beliefs, but what do you believe?" Well, that's a fair question. I believe that if God exists he's either insane or dead. I believe that if you've got nothing but scripture between your ears then you've got nothing between your ears. I believe that if the Bible is the word of God, and if the Koran is the word of God, then God must have two words, and I believe I can guess what they are, as well. But then I believe that you won't find the truth in any book; you have to look within. I don't know where that came from. I must have read it somewhere. I believe that the "Holy Land" is the most inappropriate place name in human history, with the possible exception of Sunderland's Stadium of Light. And I believe that Jesus Christ, if he ever existed, is dead, and that he's going to stay dead just like everybody else. But if by some miracle he did come back I believe he'd be embarrassed to be worshipped, ashamed of Christianity, and disgusted by Christians. Because I believe that telling someone they'll burn forever in Hell is a form of psychological assault which should be outlawed like any other nasty little hate crime. I believe the Christian church itself is an evil carbuncle on the soul of humanity which is actively engaged in carrying out the express work of Satan, and if you're offended by this then that's too bad because I also believe that nobody has the right not to be offended, and anyone who thinks they do can sit on this and swivel. I believe that there's more spirituality in a single flower than in all the sanctimonious sky pilots who have ever lived, and that's why I believe there should be a link between church and state - all clergy should go to prison for fraud. I believe that the only Heaven that you'll ever know is right here on earth, and if you can't see that, you are not really looking. I believe that faith-based education is a social cancer which serves only to produce new generations of ignorant bigots, and I believe that indoctrinating children with this repressive medieval bullshit should be vigorously prosecuted as child abuse. I believe that religious belief itself is a form of mental illness which has outstayed its welcome on this planet, and should now be relegated back to the realm of tarot cards and crystal balls where it belongs. If you have to worship something, try worshipping something real, like the planet that gave you life, because it's the best friend you ever had. And I believe it's the only friend you will ever have. Peace.

Video Details

Duration: 2 minutes and 36 seconds
Country: UK
Language: English
Producer: www.patcondell.net
Director: Pat Condell
Views: 2,186
Posted by: patcondell on Sep 29, 2007

Recorded March 28th 2007.

You can download an audio version of this video at http://patcondell.libsyn.com

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