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-What's happening, forum? Forum, are you ready for it? Are you ready for one of the most terrifying creatures you've ever seen? I'm telling you, it is a ferocious beast. All right, you asked for it. Go ahead. Release the Kraken. Oh, what? It's just a marmot eating a Graham cracker. You know, I don't usually go on here and take jabs at someone's weight, but man, that is a fat f--k. Now, this video only got like 30,000 views, which is also apparently the amount of calories this furry bastard inhales on a daily basis. That thing actually looks like a less hairy version of Kevin Smith. You know I joke about other countries a lot, but only in America would you find a morbidly obese rodent. So you guys know when you're having one of those days where you're walking to work, you know, feeling so fresh and so clean with your new sunglasses on, and then holy Jesus, you almost get hit by a car. But then, you just brush it on and keep on going to work. Now this video got, like, 30,000 views in a week. And I don't know much about the guy, but apparently he was on his way to his day job as Spider-Man. Look how freakin' close that guy. And one more thing: how pissed-drunk do you have to be to wind up driving completely on the sidewalk? Is this the carpool lane, honey? I think this is the carpool lane. Yeah, and unlike that marmot video, you know this footage didn't come from the US. One, there isn't a network here that would call itself Snotr television. And two, the guy kept on walking. In the United States, that guy would've been like, "Ahh! My neck! I'm suing! Doctor said I need a backiotomy." Guys, nowadays, DJs come in all shapes and sizes. There's black DJs, white DJs, female DJs, but I bet you've never seen a DJ like this. Or should I say, D-Jew? (dance music playing) -(whistles) -Now, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this guy is having a really good time. I'm mean, he's got the Guido fist pump going and everything. Now, there are tons of reuploaded versions of this on YouTube, so who knows many hits this thing has got? But who cares? This guy could easily be the happiest guy on the Internet. And it's not a question on whether or not this guy's on ecstasy, but rather, how much ecstasy is he actually on? I mean, he is so damn ecstatic, he could bring up the mood at any event. Imagine this guy playing a show at your great-grandmama's funeral. (dance music playing) I'm just saying, it would probably lighten the mood. But you know I'm kind of concerned this guy may actually be DJ-ing in his own bedroom. I mean, where's the party at? Where's the hot-ass ladies at? Where's the alcohol at? And where's the snacks at? Oh yeah, I think I bet I can imagine what happened to all the snacks. He's just such a fat little f--k, isn't he? But you know what's never morbidly obese. The comment question of the day, which comes from a user named, bing! and she said... -My comment question of the day is why me? -So...why me? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below. But, thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me, forum: If you could have a hybrid of two animals, which two would you choose? ("Stalkin' Your Mom" by Wax playing) Captioned by SpongeSebastian using

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 299
Posted by: spongesebastian on Jul 15, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson. (Captioned by Sebastian using

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