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Tal Ben-Shahar - Permission to be human

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The first condition that I would like Tal Ben-Shahar, Global thought leader to talk about on Positive Psychology and Leadership is what I've come to call the permission to be human that I want you to think is that I'm always happy... Or that you by the end of the semester will experience a constant high. You know, there are only two kinds of people who don't experience painful emotions, such as sadness, anxiety... Frustration, envy, anger. Two kinds of people who don't experience painful emotions. The first kind of people who don't experience painful emotions are the psychopaths. Second kind of people who don't experience painful emotions are dead. So if you experience painful emotions at times, it's a good sign. It means you're not a psychopath and you're alive. Good place to start, we can build on that. The problem in today's culture, though, is that we do not give ourselves that permission to experience painful emotions. We reject painful emotions. Why? A lot of it is because of social media. You know, what do we see on social media? We see people having an amazing time, even during these times where they're on vacation, or even if they are in quarantine, or lockdown with their families, they're learning how to cook and having, you know, getting closer to their family, everyone's doing great except for me. Now I want to be the only one to appear like I'm not doing great. So I also put similar posts on my social media, contributing to the great deception that is largely responsible for the great depression. Depression levels, anxiety levels skyrocketed even before the pandemic. They were at an all-time high at least since we started measuring those things. Today, they're even higher. One of the reasons is because we do not give ourselves the permission to be human because we reject painful emotions rather than embrace them. When we reject painful emotions, these emotions only intensify. They grow stronger. It's when we accept and embrace them that they do not overstay their welcome. You know, there's a beautiful poem by Rumi, the Sufi poet from the 13th century, called The Guest House, where he says that, "We need to welcome into our guest house, into our being, all the emotions, all thoughts to welcome them, to embrace them, not to turn them away and reject them." Why? Because they are messages from the beyond. Now I don't know if they are messages from the beyond or not, but what I do know, what science shows us today, whether research by Daniel Wagner, earlier research by Viktor Frankl and others clearly shows that when we reject, when we suppress, when we repress, these emotions only grow stronger. And what we need to do is express, give them a channel and allow them to flow through us. This doesn't just apply... In order to mitigate the rise of painful emotions, it's also about allowing in pleasurable emotions. You see, when I reject painful emotions, what I'm inadvertently doing is also rejecting pleasurable ones. Why? Because all our emotions, all of them flow through one pipeline. Not two pipelines, one pipeline. And if I block one set of emotions, the painful ones, I'm also inadvertently blocking the flow of pleasurable emotions. So if I block envy, I'm less likely to experience love. If I block anger, I'm less likely to experience excitement. If I block anxiety, I'm less likely to experience calm.

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Duration: 4 minutes and 25 seconds
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Language: English
License: Dotsub - Standard License
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Posted by: wobi on May 5, 2021

Tal Ben-Shahar - Permission to be human

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