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A guide to the dark side

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If you aspire to be politically "progressive", but often find yourself feeling intolerably tolerant or unreasonably reasonable, let me help you out with some basic tips. The number one rule, and the only one that you really need to remember, is that all "progressive" roads lead to racism. You should always look for the racist angle, and if there isn't one, invent one. Show some initiative. So, for example, make sure you frame all serious discussion about democracy in Europe falsely and maliciously in terms of race, and that way you can do your bit to help neutralise the democratic franchise of all future generations, which, if nothing else, will be something to tell your grandchildren - if you can face them. The real question to ask is: how committed are you? How much iron do you have in your soul? To be truly "progressive" requires a crisp enthusiasm for severe moral judgment that inevitably appeals to the kind of inadequate, yet self-consciously superior mentality that thinks it knows best for everyone. Is this you? Do you feel an overwhelming urge to censor the thoughts and opinions of others, to police the language as if you own it, and to make ordinary decent people feel that they need to apologise for their opinions when you know in your heart that it's you who should be apologising for your shameless double standards? For example, as a "progressive", you will, of course, be scrupulously non-judgmental about other cultures, however depraved and disgusting their practices may be, but, being a natural hypocrite, you'll be very judgmental indeed about your own culture, which you despise because you despise yourself, and, to be fair, with good reason. On the rare occasions when you can't blame a social or political problem on western imperialism or racism (however hard you try), For example, when organised gangs of Pakistani Muslims systematically rape and abuse thousands of children over many years because a bunch of "progressives" in authority allowed them to, then it's nobody's fault. Above all, we mustn't rock the cultural boat. It's more inclusive to let people blow holes in the boat and pretend it isn't happening. So don't trouble yourself in the slightest that women's rights are now negotiable in our society because we've got so much respect for the cultural difference misogyny represents. As long as it's the correct culture, obviously, and that's usually determined by skin colour, to avoid being racist. The very last thing you can afford as a "progressive" is to be seen as a racist. In fact, so important is it, that it's perfectly OK to be a racist in order not to be seen as a racist by other "progressive" racists. Also, as a "progressive" you are, of course, innately authoritarian, but from a sheltered and cowardly perspective, which makes you a natural banhammer. So you should always be signing self-righteous petitions to get somebody banned or to shut somebody up because you're afraid of their opinions. It goes without saying that anyone arguing for secular democracy, freedom of speech, gender equality, or genuine human rights of any kind is a racist troublemaker who needs to be silenced. You'll find hysterical denunciation is the ideal tool for this purpose. Keep it sharp and keep it handy, because you will need it if you're serious about imposing the correct opinions on people. It's particularly useful in tandem with the word "racist", of course, so if somebody is arguing for dangerous ideas like democracy or free speech, which, let's face it, are responsible for all the bad things in this world, you can quickly put a stop to it by throwing in the word "racist" to stigmatise them, to poison their argument, and to discourage people from listening to what they're actually saying. It's a wonderful way to muddy things up and create prejudice against somebody before they've opened their mouth, and of course it saves you the trouble of having to listen to their infuriatingly sane and sensible arguments, which is always a bonus for any "progressive". Also, you'll be happy to know that the apparent mindless straitjacket rigidity of political correctness is curiously liberating, as it transcends any need to think in terms of right and wrong, which is a subject that can be quite taxing if you apply yourself to it, but, as a "progressive", you don't need to worry about that. You're above right and wrong in the way that a Muslim hate preacher is above the law, so you can devote more of your time to misrepresenting the truth if it's incorrect, slandering those who speak it, and poisoning people's minds against it in the way that your mind has been poisoned. Take what you've been given and pay it forward. And remember, when you're imposing tolerance and respect on people, there's no need to actually show them any. Just keep throwing mud until it sticks, because you're up to your neck in double standards here, so you need to be extra vigilant against unwelcome opinion, which, in your position, can be more than inconvenient (as if that wasn't outrageous enough); it can be downright threatening. So anyone attempting to stir up healthy rational debate should always be swiftly marginalised and crushed in a spirit of reconciliation and healing. And if your conscience troubles you, just remind yourself that you're doing the wrong thing for the correct reason, and you'll be fine. If you're a true "progressive", you get all this. You live and breathe this stuff every day. I'm talking here for the benefit of new "progressives" who might still be struggling with full commitment to the dark side. And I can see why some of you might be wavering. This stuff might seem counterintuitive to you. Some of it might seem downright evil. But don't let yourself be emotionally blackmailed by those imposters, right and wrong. Those are the old values, and old values are inherently patriarchal, racist and sexist, as we all know. Bright "progressive" relativist new values are all about equality, fairness and diversity, so, even when they're transparently hypocritical, repressive and false, they're better. And that's really all you need to know. And, if your conscience is still troubling you, then your conscience is incorrect, and is probably a racist. Peace. You're going to need it when the penny drops.

Video Details

Duration: 6 minutes and 11 seconds
Country: United Kingdom
Language: English
License: Dotsub - Standard License
Views: 2,664
Posted by: patcondell on Mar 24, 2015

How to be "progressive"

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