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YouTube Assassin Ep. V - SHANE DAWSON :::: Part 1 ::::

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[film projector clicking] ? [amateur version, "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"] ? Now, this is a story, all about how ? ? My life got twisted upside down ? ? And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there ? ? And tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. ? Yeahhh. ? Bum-bum bum-bum bum-bum bum. ? [dialing] [ring tone] Hold up. What do you want? I'm on a hot date. Where the hell have you been? I haven't talked to you in months. That's none of your beeswax. [through phone] Look, I don't have time [live] to chit-chat. So who's next on the list? Shane Dawson. [grunt] huh. [dial tone] Sorry about that. So what were we talking about? Oh yeah, I have a crazy thing for Asian women, such as yourself. Mr. Thunder, I'm not Asian. I'm Russian. Ah, same thing. So what exactly do you do, Marina? I make YouTube videos. You mean TubeYou videos? Yes. Let's just say I know a little bit more about you thank you think. How so? When do you plan to kill....Shane Dawson? Huh. I have no idea what you're talking about. It has been reported that the killer has strange obsessions with strawberry licorice. Samples have been obtained at two of the crime scenes. [swoosh] (tiny voice) Oh no! That means nothing. Oh, so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed anything. So, what do you have planned for dessert? Well, I did bring us some strawberry licorice - aw, dammit. You got me. (Marina) A-hah, Mr. Thunder. Shane Dawson is very powerful. Let me help you to take him down. How do you plan to do that? (Pree) Go to the back alley of the Hollywood museum. Oh, the one on 1616 North Hollywood Avenue? Open 10-5. Wednesday thru Sunday Exactly. There you will receive the only weapon capable of taking down Shane Dawson. How do I know this isn't some setup? Well, it seems to me we're working for the same person. Oh, The Degradation Freak Joe Nation? Yes. Joe Nation. That sneaky little punk. Didn't think I could get the job done myself. Why are you leaving so soon? I got a TubeYou to take care of. Ooh, spiral staircase. I love these. Did you design it? [echoing footsteps] [outcry, crashing glass] Oh come on ya' damn meatheads, scrimmage, scrimmage! That was clearly a touchdown. Or a home run. [phone ringing] Or a goal? I don't know. Hello? Buck Sander might be deadly, but he's not very bright. [over phone] and your little friend, Joe Nation, is the one [live] behind all the assasinations. Oh, he is? Hey Shane, your gay friend Joe hired Bob Thunder to kill you. That little shit. He wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for me. What would you like for me to do? Shane, what do you want the big titty Russian whore to do? Rip his balls off and feed it to him. Yea, just kill him. With pleasure. [phone ringing] Hello? Hey Joe, how are you? This is Marina. Yo, what's up homegirl? Doin' a'ight? Good, good. Um, are you free today for a quick video with me? Yea, my day's pretty open, I can be at your place in a [sniff] little while. Perfect. See you then. ? [traffic noise] [humming] I could go for a good chili dog right now. [engine revving] ? [arguing] Will the two of you shut the fuck up? And who the hell are you? Oh, you must be that whack job YouTube murderer. Bob Thunder. [laughs derisively] Yea. Who the hell are you? I'm Esther Goldberg. And these are my lovely sons. Would you introduce yourself you little turd? I'm Benny. Raffy. Yea, whatever. I'm looking for that super secret weapon Oh, the secret weapon. To murder Shane Dawson. Well, first we gotta frisk ya. Raffy, frisk him. I don't want to frisk him, I did it last time. Yea, I frisked those two Mexicans and they almost blew my head off, so... [arguing] Will you two shut the fuck up? [knocking] Hey, how are you? Good, how are you? Good, good. Thanks for coming. This shoot won't take that long. (Joe) That'll be great. Yea, no rush. Well, before we get to work, let's have a drink. I hope you like vodka. (Joe) Yeah. I'm always down for some, uh, day drinkin'. (Marina) Good. Me too. So, let's drink for life and success, and to painless death. Lovely. But not anytime soon. Do you like my artwork? (Joe) Oh, yeah, it's nice. I didn't know that you painted? I don't. Ready? Yeah. [glasses ding] [cell phone ringing] (Joe) Oh, I'm sorry. It's my mom. She's been calling me every day. It's probably her. I gotta take this. [phone still ringing] Hello? Yeah. You know, I don't think I have any stuffed animals that big. Alright, cool. Love you, I'll call you later. Bye. Sorry about that. [cries of pain] What the hell was that for? Deleting Joe Nation TV. [grunting] Aaaah! (Joe) Oh, oh, I'm sorry. your nose. Oh. [screaming] Yeah, pat him down really good. Check between those nice tight little buns of his. He likes to hide things up there. He's clean. Good. Bob Thunder - get in here and talk to me. We've been trying to take down Shane Dawson for years. There's been a few failed attempts - but... We've discovered his weakness. What's that? Benny! Get the secret weapon. [fiendish snickering] Deadhead hair products. You destroy the hair... ...you destroy Shane Dawson. [fiendish laugh] [Benny and Raffy join in] [slow motion laugh] [screaming] Aaaah! Today's the day... ...Joe Nation... ...and Bob Thunder... are all going to die. [something Russian] ? [gasping] [laughing continues] Bob Thunder. We're going to take you down. [gunshots] [whining] Will you shut the fuck up? [gunshots] Who do you work for? Stock Mafia (?) [slow handclap] Congratulations. You've just passed the first test. What test? The little YouTube shitheads have been driving me crazy since the day they were born. And ripped me to shreds. I figured throwing into the fire with you, would do the trick. What are you talking about? Shane Dawson knows that you're the assassin. That's why he hired me to take out your little ass. Hmm. That little pansy bitch has too many subscribers. And he hasn't even put me in his other channels. Bastard. And so I'm hiring you. To finish the job. What's in it for me? Or else I could just bust this cap in your ass? Well, if you fail, you're as good as dead. Isn't that right Max? That bitch don't lie. And if you succeed, you work for me. Not that little bitch, Joe Nation. I'll give you an offer you can't refuse. Capiche! Capash. Max, fire up the baby. We're going to Home Depot to pick up a pool boy for the afternoon. Oh., And don't forget this. Now put some ice on those nuts. It reduces the swelling. [fiendish laugh] ? Oh, and by the way. Shane Dawson is working out at Pound for Pound boxing. He will be expecting you. ?

Video Details

Duration: 10 minutes and 58 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Views: 251
Posted by: spongesebastian on Jan 24, 2011

Bob Thunder goes after SHANE DAWSON in this 2 PART Series !!!!! (Captioned by Bill Creswell)

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