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死后访问: 无间道, 死后真情剖白 生前穷凶极恶! 比地狱更难受!

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Desteni Presents: Vlogs from Afterlife: Ed - Part 1 Hi there, my name is Ed and..i have Recently..well, Recently is about past Seven months (um) joint the Interdimensional..Existence and..Well..it is..Nothing..like Here on Earth (um) - in any way Whatsoever my first..Experience..Within Myself (um)..after i..Realized - "Alright, i'm Dead." Here i am and..this I (um), of Me..was Messed Up: Pretty Much, Completely, Entirely - Messed Up..(um) and.. it Felt like..this wave of..Emotion, this Depression..this - Anger Overwhelmed me..in a..my Entire Being..so Completely that: i wanted "to Die" (smile) and it's Interesting because.. it is Actually Painful: Depression, Anger..Experiencing that as your very Being.. your very..you know: my very Experience of me - that Heaviness of..this Deep.. Core Depression and Anger..and Disgust..and..Shame, because.. you: Really, Literally..Look - into a Mirror - when you're in the Dimensions There's Not One Moment of Your Life, That Is NOT There! that you don't See - you See Everything! (shake head) and..that is.. form there was a Shock Beyond Measures, for me..you know, because.. i Lived my Life: Here on Earth, thinking..you know, Not Even thinking, Not Even Considering that..i'll One Day: Actually Come - Face to Face with Me.. and Actually See: Every - Single - Point, Every Single Aspect of Me..and.. i've Done Things..in this World..of which - i Did Not Even Consider Others.. i Did Not Consider Consequences..i Did Not Consider..(chill) Any Effect Will Occur Within Me..in Anyway Whatsoever, in Other Words - Paying for What i Have Done, or Paying for..what i have..Allowed (um)..Paying for what i have Accepted - Me to Become..and.. it's..it's Not that, you know, you get to the Dimensions - and then, you Paid for IT (um) No, you DO Actually. So, it's not a Paid..it's a..(deep breathe) man, you know, Standing there before YOU, before Yourself..that's, that's Heavy (smile) probably why the Heaviness was there, as well and..in the Dimensions, i was Introduced to - Self-Forgiveness and..this Heaviness, this Anger, this Disgust: that Was Me i was Experiencing Me: as the Anger, as the Depression, as the Disgust.. as the Disappointment..and.. it Feels, as though goes in so Deep..so Deep Inside me that..i Cannot Get it Out i Do Not Want to Get it Out, i Want to Die..i want, i wanted to Go Away i Don't want to Experience Myself in this way - and that Cause Even more Frustration because..you know, the Last thing that i Expected: was to See Everything of myself.. and Also See the Consequences of myself - when i Die and..Everyone may Perceived it to be, you know: "Ah, it's Alright" (um).. from a Word Perspective, you know, from your Experience - Here on Earth you know, you might Kind of go: you know, "Ah, it's Alright" (um).. what i Do, what i..Say..what i Act On..what i Participate in: (Pew) Makes No Difference, this is MY LIFE! this is MY Experience..(ahr) this is ME! this is Who I Am, you know, etc.etc. (smirk).."you Haven't Die YET", and Actually..came Face to Face - with Yourself if there Even Was a Hell, i would Define it as That. (node)..that Experience.. that..that's Hell. imagine, i mean..i'm just Hearing what i am Saying.. i am..that Hell - that i am Experiencing. and.. Self-Forgiveness..that was Hard, that was Difficult: Self-Forgiveness - Really Difficult because..in the Dimensions you kind of: See your Actions, you See your Words.. you See your Participations and..how it Affected the Other Beings' Lifes Wow! Jesus..Christ..i was Always this: Hard Cored Bad-Ass man..person..being..you know, Not Giving a fuck - i'd be the Definition of: Ego - Literally (um)..but shit, i never..Believed, or Even Considered me to Actually Feel.. and what it is that i Feel..First: Depression, Anger, Frustration, Disappointment.. and Shame i mean, that was a Surprise for me, Even (um)..in the Beginning, as i've Said.. that Self-Forgiveness was Hard, it was Difficult to Do, because.. i Didn't Feel Worthy, of Even Forgiving myself - for what i had Done you know, what i've Allowed Me, when i Really See what i have Done.. well not only to Myself, but to Others As Well..(um).. took me awhile to get the Flow of it, you know: Self-Forgiveness Alright..(um)..i'll Continue in my Next Video it shows me i've got 8min. 37 and Counting Down. Thanks

Video Details

Duration: 8 minutes and 48 seconds
Country: South Africa
Language: English
Producer: Desteni Production
Views: 102
Posted by: destenichineses on Aug 5, 2009

Desteni

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