Losing Back the Sleep You've Gained Thursday May 2016
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[CHATTER]
[APPLAUSE]
Good evening, everybody
CROWD: Good evening
My name is Steve Gravelle
I'm a resident teaching artist with Philadelphia Young Playwrights
and I'm here tonight to serve as the introducer to this play
I welcome you here to the play called
'Losing Back the Sleep You've Gained'
by Helen Everbach
Let's have a round of applause for Helen Everbach
[APPLAUSE]
Your hands will really get tired
if you clap like that every time
[APPLAUSE]
It's also presented by the Greenfield Collective
Let's hear it for them
[APPLAUSE]
Okay!
So... over the past year, Helen
And four other amazing young playwrights
had each been paired with a professional playwright mentor
and were challenged to create a brand new play
The fellows saw theater together,
they workshopped scenes from these brand new plays,
and they worked with their mentors on developing their plays
In January,
we held a workshop presentation of each play
and the writers have been busy making revisions
over the past several months
You said this is version seven of the play?
HELEN: More than that, but yeah it's called draft seven
Right, draft seven
This is version four of draft seven
Um, and, Helen has been mentored
by playwright Lucy Thurber
[APPLAUSE]
After the January workshops
we, uh, we had PYP commission five
young theater companies
exciting young producing companies, sorry,
to produce these new five plays
and we are very excited
to partner with the Greenfield Collective on this project
Thank you Hannah,
for doing such an amazing job
do you wanna talk about the Greenfield Collective?
HANNAH: Sure
The Greenfield Collective is a young company
We make gutsy yet provocative theater for the community at large
So thank you community at large for being here
and taking off your socks and shoes
and smelling each other's feet
and joining us
Yeah, it's been a really special process
taking up with young playwrights
and David as well
it's been pretty... pretty awesome
thank you Helen
for your incredible work
it's really about you tonight
so I can't wait to share this space with you
two little housekeeping items
turn off your phones
please, it actually is super important
that not only is your phone's volume off
but there's no chance that it will go off during the play
If you could do that for me
And also just be aware
if you're on a corner that we're gonna use these
liberally, so you're gonna get up close and personal
And if someone's trying to come through, let them come through
And enjoy the show!
Make sure to have some fun, guys!
[APPLAUSE]
At PYP we believe
that every young person has something to important to say
and we thank you so much for being here
Enjoy the show
[APPLAUSE]
♪
[phone ringing]
Drink this
I'm not hungry
Dehydration that's real cute
Please, Zoe?
There. Happy?
No
So how you feeling?
Like shit
Wanna talk about it?
No
Why’d you have me come over if you don’t wanna talk?
I didn’t make you do anything
Well why’d you ask me to then?
I don’t know, safety? I’m not gonna cut while you’re standing right there watching me
Well I’m flattered
So, are you feeling better now?
Yeah. I’m okay
Have you had dinner?
I'm not hungry
Of course not
Drink some water
No, thank you. But thank you for offering
I missed you at school today. What’d you do all day?
Nothing
Really? Nothing? You stared at the fucking wall and did nothing?
I watched movies
Well that’s something!
Now I have post-gay-romcom syndrome
I haven’t heard of that one
I watched this movie called ‘Geography Club’
And it’s been on my list of things to watch for a while now
I didn't and then I finally did
Was it good?
No
Oh
I liked the love interest guy, though
Like he was a jock and was really cool
but like all classic gay romcoms
he was heavy with internalized homophobia
I identified with him though
I always identify with them. The depressed people in movies
Like I’ll watch a romcom to feel happy and light and cute
and maybe I do, but it’s inane and cheap
So then I feel like I want real art
I want a movie that makes me think
So then I’ll watch a serious movie about serious issues and feel depressed
So then I’ll need to wash that down with another happy romcom, but happiness is fake
It's just a cycle
At least there are happy ones
But even within those stories it's so messed up because everyone is depressed about coming out
It's like gay people hate being gay
It sends the wrong message to youth who are trying to love this shit piece of identity they never even asked for
I like being gay
Well fuck you
No one else does
And it's always about muscular white men
I hate being gay like I’m not even a ‘gay person’
Yes you are
No, I’m not
“Gay” wasn’t even a thing until like 1860 because there wasn't a need to label it
But that wasn’t a good thing, Zoe
That was because of heteronormativity or whatever
There was no word for gay because it was ‘perverted’
And anyway, those homosexuals were all white men, right?
I hate you
You're the one who called me on a Tuesday night so you wouldn’t kill yourself
It’s, like, kind of an honor
Yes, Melissa. You win. You won the best friends award
Hooray. Your prize is another day with me
Cool
Drink some water
I’d rather pass out
Well you're going to. Drink your goddamn glass of water
I wasted ice on that
You shouldn’t even buy ice
Like it's not that expensive
You can make it yourself for free if you’re willing to be patient
Yep
Thank you
What are you thinking about?
Nothing
Gay nothing?
Yeah well sort of
Well let's hear it
I want to cut
And I won’t, and I know I shouldn’t and don’t freak out or be weird or anything. I know it’s stupid
You said you'd stop
I have. The scars are healing up a bit,
my wrists are a little bit smoother which is good. It's just the movies, like-
Maybe you shouldn’t watch so many-
I like them!
I’m so stupid. And so weak. I'm so fucking weak and stupid
No you're not
Like I put all the knives in a box together
but now any time I need to cut anything
they’re just all there together and stuff, just sitting in a pile and it brings up so much for me
I hate myself. I’m gonna do it. When you leave I’m gonna do it. It’s inevitable
I’m not leaving
It doesn’t matter if you leave now or later, I'm going to do it Melissa
I'm not leaving
It doesn't matter. It’s a drug
I’ll want it more of it and I won't stop I can’t stop
I’ll kill myself. I’ll fucking kill myself, Melissa!
I’m not leaving
Shut up, stop saying that
I want you to know
Shut up I know
I’m sorry. I’m sorry
Please help me
I just
I- I need to get out of here, escape
But whenever I go outside
people just stare and I just think of all the ways I could kill myself
I shouldn’t live so close to the damn train station
Wanna live with me for a while?
Melissa, you live next to a bridge over the fucking freeway
Oh. Right
And you don’t want me there.
What?
You don't want me there
Yes, I do
Wouldn’t Veronica dislike it?
What does she have to do with this?
Good
Stop. Don’t do that
Don't to what?
Zoe-
Melissa
Goddamn it, Zoe
Shut up
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-
Say something
You don’t want me to shut up?
I don’t want you to shut up
I don't want you to ever shut up. I’m afraid of you shutting up and shutting me out
I was doing so well for a while there
Hey! You’re still doing well
You called me. This is healthy
Healthy. Sure
Drink some water
I'm not thirsty
I don't care
I’m sorry they’re fading
They’re beautiful, like
tattoos of suffering
Fuck you. They’re not
I wish I could believe in god. Maybe that’d be good
Okay. Wanna be Jewish with me?
You’re barely Jewish
You have a Christmas tree every year
Picky, picky
How long are you staying?
Till whenever
You don’t have somewhere you have to be?
Sure I do. Eventually
But you’re more important
Than what?
Everything
Ha
Can I get you more water?
♪
[chord mistake] Shit
You're beautiful
Okay, sure
No, really
Thanks
I missed you
I didn't go anywhere
I know. But I still missed you
That's stupid
I know
What?
Nothing, you’re just being weird
I can’t help it. I like you
I know you do
Sit over there
Why?
Because I said so
This good?
Oh
Tell me you want me
I want you
No, like say it...
Tell me you -want- me
I want you
Again
I want you, Veronica
One more time
I want you so much
I know you do
I just wanna hear it
Good
Agh! I can’t
Alright, what?
I don't know
It's hard
It's so... intimate and
I like you
I want you to like me
I do! I do
I don't know what's wrong with me!
There's nothing wrong with you
You're perfect
You're so nice to me
It's easy to be nice to you
God, you’re so beautiful
I want you so bad
Do you?
Do you want me?
Prove it
Cute bra
I'm sorry
I’m sorry. No, I’m being stupid
You're not. It's fine
Melissa
No, I get it. I’m going fast
It was easier when we just hung out
I know
I wanna try again
It's not gonna be much different
I know
Maybe do you want me to turn off the light?
Okay
Good?
Yeah
Okay
Alright. I'm going to-
I'll do it myself
Is this okay?
Don’t patronize me, Melissa. It’s fine
Can- can I...?
Uh-huh
Agh!
Ah! I’m sorry
No, no it’s good
I- I wasn’t... expecting…
but, but it's good! You can do that!
Are you sure?
Shut up, it's fine! You can-
Mm-hm
How does that feel?
It's okay
It feels... okay
It feels okay?
It feels good!
What- what're you doing?!
I was going to-
Don’t
Yep!
I'm sorry
Can we just...
Sure
Would you want me to maybe-
No, you don't have to
But-
Veronica, don't
But I wanna make you...
You clearly don't want to though?
I mean I just don't want you to be-
It's fine
What're you doing?
Do you want me to turn the light on?
No, leave it
I’m sorry that things are like this
Why? This is good
It’s not fair to you
Come on now
No, I shouldn't be making you-
I love you
Don't say that
I know
Sometimes I think everything’s okay
Sometimes it is
[text message]
I'm sorry, I should-
Please don't
Okay, I won't
It's probably Zoe
Melissa-
I won’t. I’m just saying…
I love you too
Melissa, you can't-
I didn't
(Veronica laughs)
We're a mess
(Melissa laughs)
Yeah
[text message]
I- I really, I should get that
Yeah, so?
So nothing
Come here
I missed you too
♪
What're you eating?
I'm not eating today
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard
What’d you bring?
Fluffernutter sandwich
What're you, in fourth grade?
Who eats fluffernutter sandwiches anymore?
That’s not even actual food
It doesn’t matter if it’s actual food I’m just going to throw it away
Well. There are children starving in Africa
Okay, you give me postage and I’ll send them all the fluffernutter they can eat
Which is probably only like two bites because their stomachs are contracted
That’s disgusting
You brought it up
Eat your sugar sandwich
Don’t be a mom
Fine
Gimme
All yours
So...
did you have a good day?
Are you done?
I guess. I’ll just BS my way through seminar
It's cool
Hey so I called the Trevor hotline last night
I texted you last night
You said you were fine
Yeah, at like 8:00. I called in at like 2:00
Why didn't you call me?
Well, I feel like I’m always bothering you
Plus you need sleep
I'm sure Veronica keeps you up
We never spend the night
And Zoe. It will never be bothering me to hear from you
Okay
Well anyway, I got in a fight with Aunt Angie and I felt like shit
Was it bad?
Yeah
Like suicidal bad?
I called a fucking helpline, Melissa
Well I wish you’d called me
What was it about?
Do you even need to ask?
I’m so sorry
Don’t pity me
I’m not
Yes you are
I’m not trying to
But you are
I know. I’m sorry
So what’d you bring?
Overcooked vegetable stir-fry
Ew
Want some?
No. I’m not eating
I’m glad you came to school
I’m not
Honestly, I'll prob’ly skip tomorrow
Don’t you, like, have a detention already or something?
So? The education system is super fucked up. Like, I don’t want to be a part of that
It’s 65 degrees in here
Why do they heat the school?
Zoe
It’s nothing
It’s not nothing
Stop making a big deal out of it
It's a big deal! Those are new
Okay, Melissa, you don’t understand
Yes I do
No you don’t
I think I do
...Except you don’t
You should have called me
You could have died
Okay, geez. I'm sorry
You should have called
I'm sorry
I- I mean, I called the helpline, Melissa. It's fine. Just drop it
No, I'm not gonna drop it
This was an attempt
You haven’t made an attempt in-
Please call me when you might die?
Please, Zoe
No, no. Fuck
Can you please call me if kill you're gonna yourself?
Don't kill yourself without talking to me again?
Is that so hard to ask? Is that so hard?
Okay. I’ll call you
Thank you
How much blood did you lose? You should definitely be eating
I’m not hungry
That freaks me out
So?
Don’t you care? Doesn’t it scare you?
What?
All of it
More than anything
Wanna split my vegetable mush?
♪
So?
Better
Did you…?
No
You couldn’t tell?
Girls are super different
You are a girl
How I know they’re different
Well I’m sorry I don’t have a dick
I’m not
Yeah you are
I don’t wish that you were a guy
No?
No
Well good
Well like even if I didn’t have a dick I could be a guy
Like I could be a trans guy
Oh
Are you?
No
Are you?
No
Oh my god I’m glad we cleared that up because it was really pressing on me… like I was worried, where do we stand… like are we both…?
I’m sorry
I’m really bad
No, you're not really bad
Yeah?
No. You are. I was being nice. You’re terrible
Oh
No, you’re fucking atrocious
But you’re getting better
Good
No, I’m just teasing you. You’re not that bad
Glass of water?
No. Not now
I like the way that you’re so good at making me feel…
I don’t know
Feel what?
Are girls giving you strange new feelings? Sexual feelings?
You’re pretty
Oh, shut up
Really?
Yeah, really
Why would I say if if you weren’t?
I don't know
Girls do weird things sometimes
And you’re pretty too
Obviously. Because I say it, like, all the time
I’m glad you say it. It proves you-
[text message]
Oh my god. Melissa!
I’m sorry
I have to get that
Is it Zoe?
Yeah
You two text a lot
Yeah
What, don’t tell me you’re jealous
I’m not
There
There, perfect
Yeah? We're good?
Okay
Wait, what time is it?
Can you check the time, please?
Permission to check my phone?
4:20. Blaze it
Shit
Shit. Cameron
I’m Melissa
No, Cam’s coming over
Thanks for the warning
Melissa, I’m sorry
No it's fine. I'm going
No!
I told him I was with a friend
If you leave it'll look like I just blew him off
God forbid
Melissa, I’m sorry
No. It’s fine. Just let me put some fucking clothes on
Or did you tell him you also fuck your friends?
You know what I told him
And you know what I think
And sometimes it’s not about what you think, Melissa!
Shit
What
Nothing. Forget- forget I said anything
No. You did. Say it. What’s it about? Cameron?
It’s not about Cameron!
It’s about Cameron
No… I told you-
I heard you
Please don’t be like this right now
Please don’t be like this always
I’m not being like anything, you’re the one being a-
[text message]
Oh my god
Melissa, you're checking your phone right now?
Hypocrite
Bitch
That's offensive
Don't you even...
What do you want from me?
I- What do you want from...? I don't know!
I’m sorry. Okay, I’m sorry!
You’re sorry? So that makes everything fine? No problems here, she’s sorry.
Melissa!
What?
So when Cameron gets here, I’ll just go then?
If you wouldn’t mind
No, of course not. Who would mind?
No, you’re right. I’m being stupid
I'm sorry
Do you have your stuff together so you can…
I’m ready to leave whenever you’re done with me
That was mean
Cam’s here
Hooray
Melissa I'm sorry
I don’t even care
No, I’m really-
I know. Not now
Get the door
I am
So Cam had an idea
Hey, Melissa! What’s up?
How you been?
Stellar. Yourself?
I’m doing great, thanks
Cameron had an idea?
Yes
I was just saying you should stick around
I really can’t. Sorry. I’m supposed to go over to Zoe’s, so…
Aw, too bad. Maybe next time!
Hey, invite Zoe! That’d be cool
I'd love to meet her
Have, uh, have you met her? You've met her, right Ron?
Yeah
Well was she cool?
Yeah… sure…
Great! This is awesome!
Yeah… no, that’s. That’s okay. Thanks for… the invitation, but I really have to go
What? You’re gonna bail? I mean no, this is perfect! What’s holding you back?
Uh...
It'll be a great opportunity to get to know each other a little bit better. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah
She gets me. You get me? We have a thing going
Yeah I’m gonna text Zoe
I am starved. Do you wanna get something to eat?
Sure… I’ll be right back
This is so cool.
You and me hanging out. You know? We're, we’re kinda the same, you know?
Like I feel like you get me. On a different level than Ron though
Like... well, you know what I mean
Yeah
So I don’t want to be weird or anything, but um
I was just wondering if you could like... let me in on like
On what?
People say that lesbians are really really good at, like-
How do you do it?
How do you go down on a woman?
Uhm
Um
Yeah, so, uh… you ask a lot of questions and
You check in about…
how it’s going and if she seems happy, then you’re doing well. If she seems uncomfortable or in pain, then you stop.
And try something else. And... and...
I mean...
I know all that stuff
Like... the lesbian stuff
What do you do?
It’s like kissing, you use your mouth. I don’t know
Chips
I’m giving Cameron oral sex tips
What?
I mean, you said that I was-
I meant the internet, not Melissa!
We don’t have to talk about it. What does Veronica need with tips on how to go down on a girl?
Yeah...yeah, okay. Well thanks anyway, Melissa
We can talk later.
Yeah
Hey, Melissa. I think it’s really cool that you’re out and stuff
Like, you’re really brave. That’s cool
I guess
Any word about Zoe?
Yeah, she can’t come
Zoe can’t make it?
That's too bad
Deja vu
Yeah, she’s very busy
What’s Zoe busy with?
Homework
Who knew she was so serious about school?
Yeah
I mean she just hasn’t been to class in a couple days
She’s been very busy
Homework
Yeah
Not too busy to text you though?
Cameron, you in any shows right now?
Right now? No
Oh! But I’m really into improv
Like... it's so real, you know?
Like, it’s just you and your scene partner
And you're- you're doing the scene
and then you’re in the scene
And- and then you- you are the scene
And it’s all in real time
no lines, just words… that are lines
but they’re not scripted
Yeah I've seen improv
It's awesome
Yeah
But... I really miss... like the character work?
Like when you’re working on a show, you can really dive deeper into the character and find your conflict
Because we all have conflict
True
No, but inside us
Like we have conflict inside us all the time
and it’s what comes out that makes us who we are
Yeah!
Want me to refill the chips?
No, we’re good. Thanks
So... wanna play spin the bottle?
No
-No
Okay, forget I said anything
Melissa, have you ever even kissed a boy?
I’ll bet you have
No, I haven’t
Oh
You want to?
Cameron, don’t be an asshole
It was just a joke
Well have you ever kissed a boy, Cameron?
No, no. Of course not
Of course not
Hey, babe, have you?
What? Kissed a boy? Of course, dumbass
Kissed a girl
No
Never?
Never
I guess we’re all pretty vanilla, huh?
I guess so
Unless theater counts
because I played Angel in RENT last spring, and
that wasn’t too vanilla, I think
Have you seen that show, Melissa? That's a great show
I don't like musicals
RENT is more than a musical
It was social commentary about an age. It was really important
Because
well, a lot of people had AIDS and
not a lot of people were comfortable talking about it
And a lot of people died
They called it 'gay cancer'
I know
Oh. I'm so sorry
Am I triggering you?
I’m not gay, so
sometimes I forget that that might trigger you
I’m not triggered. I just know about AIDS
Of course
I mean, uh
When I did my research... for RENT
I had to get in character
You know, Angel's really complicated
Like, most people couldn't play him
But I did
I mean...
But anyways, I learned a lot from RENT
Like... about gay people
It's a lot harder than it seems
Shame about Zoe
Yeah
Anyone wanna play cards?
No
Or, uh, we could listen to music?
Hamilton is amazing, if you haven’t heard it yet.
I showed it to Ron It’s good, right?
Yeah, it's good
Great lyrics. And I always love a good history connection.
Like, that makes it, you know, really cool. Really realistic…
Yeah I don’t want to listen to Hamilton
So... are...
Are you and Zoe…
They’re just friends
Cam, god
Just because they’re lesbians doesn’t mean they’re necessarily a thing
I don’t know. I haven’t ever known lesbians before.
What’s there to know?
I mean when I did-
When I did my research for RENT,
it was about gay men and Angel isn’t a lesbian. He’s gay. Or, she’s gay. But not a lesbian
Right
And obviously AIDS affected the lesbian community differently,
but it just wasn’t addressed in the show… so I didn’t research lesbians
Wasn't there a same sex lesbian couple in RENT?
Marlene or something?
Yeah, there is
Well, Joanne is a lesbian
...but Maureen isn't really a lesbian. She's just a slut
What?
She sings a song about it
Do you mean to say she’s a bisexual?
No
She sings a song about it. She’s just a hot slut
I don't know. Is bisexual...? Is that really even...? Real, do you think?
I think it is
Veronica, what do you think? Do you think bisexuals are real? Or are they just sluts?
I don’t know
Maybe only some of them are real
We’re not having this conversation!
Why are you being weird?
I’m not
You are
I'm not!
Okay!
You are
Shut up
You and Zoe never even...
No
I mean, if I were a lesbian…
But you’re not a lesbian
I mean I know I'm not a lesbian
I’m just saying you’re not a lesbian, so you wouldn’t know what it’s like
I mean, I know I'm not a les- I mean I never said I was a lesbian. No one ever said they were a lesbian!
I did say I was a lesbian
So nothing. There's no...
No
We’re not really a good match
Oh
And nobody wants more chips?
No
Fine! That’s- that's fine, I just- that's just fine.
I just thought I'd ask
But you did. Twice
Yeah, I know. People could have changed their minds
But they didn’t though
No, they didn’t. You’re right.
Are you happy with yourself Melissa? You’re the smartest person in the whole world. Are- are you happy?
Yes I am so happy. I’m so happy
Alright, good. Me too. I’m so happy. Cameron, are you happy?
Yeah, sure
I'm so happy. You know, we're so happy.
That’s adorable. That's... a really cute couple. That's cute
Yeah. Hey. You and Zoe should-
Oh my god! She is not gonna fuck Zoe, okay!
Why shouldn’t I?
You’re a bad match, you said it yourself
So?
Yeah, why shouldn’t she?
She just wouldn’t
Maybe I would
No. You wouldn’t
Maybe I already have
She’s lying
Why do you care?
Why does Cameron care? He's the one who keeps bringing it up
No, I just thought it’d be nice if-
It wouldn’t be nice
For double dates!
It wouldn’t be nice
Okay
Please stop texting her right now
We’re actually sexting
That’s just… you’re lying. To my face
We could do sexting
No. We couldn’t
Guess we’re too vanilla
I’m not vanilla
Yeah you are
I’m not vanilla
Prove it
What- what do you want me to do? Give a boyfriend a fucking blowjob right now in front of you
Yeah, because that’s so kinky
Oh, you could make out with Melissa
What?
She’s a lesbian. She knows how to do it
You really want me to make out with a lesbian?
So what? You’re not a lesbian
I could turn her
Is that a thing?
No. It's not. I’m not making out with Melissa!
I am getting more chips!
I don't want any more
Bite me
♪
You changed your hair
Yeah
It looks good. That’s a cool style
Yeah I know. Thanks
So how was your week?
Good
Well no, it wasn’t
It wasn’t a good week?
No, not really
Why not?
Oh, the usual.
My girlfriend pretends that she's straight, so we were in a big fight
and my friend tried to kill herself and she doesn’t like my girlfriend, so she refuses to hang out with us
That sounds very stressful
That’s a lot of pressure
Are you going to talk to me this week… or…
How are the meds working out for you?
They’re doing nothing, but I don’t even know what they’re supposed to do, because nothing’s wrong with me. I don’t know why people like you are always pushing drugs
It’s my job
To be a drug pusher?
Well, no. To take care of you
That’s my job, not yours
That’s a good point. Maybe we can both do it?
Jeff, I don’t even know why I’m here.
I’m not a kid and there’s nothing wrong with me
I agree. There’s nothing wrong with you
You are a wonderful young woman, but
there are people in your life who are worried about you
I’m worried about you and I want to check in
See that you're okay. I would like you to be okay
And I don’t think it’s fair of you to dismiss any concern your health or safety as belittling you
I see adult clients too, Melissa, this isn’t an age thing
Fine
Okay so what's going on?
Well I’m doing fine. You should really be here with my friend Zoe, but her family just thinks she’s overdramatic or some shit like that
Is it helpful to you to talk about Zoe?
Helpful how?
Does it make you feel better?
Jeff, do you have a family?
Yes, I do
Are you married?
I am
How is it?
Why are you talking about me, Melissa?
How much time do we have left?
Clock on the wall. Twenty-two minutes
Seriously, Zoe needs help
I know
I’m worried about her
I know. Does that stress you out?
Yeah. Yeah, it stresses me out. It would stress anyone out
That’s a lot of pressure for someone your age
That’s a lot of pressure for someone my age?
That’s a lot of pressure for someone any fucking age! That's a lot of pressure in general! Why are you trying to make this an age thing when it’s not?
You’re right. I’m sorry. That is a lot of pressure for anyone. I agree
A couple weeks ago, you said you were overwhelmed
That you were feeling a lot of pressure?
Are you still... feeling like there's no hope... or...
Look, Jeff
Everything is fine
Yeah, I’m stressed. Yeah, life is tough. But it’s not any harder than it is for anyone else
On the contrary, I think you have particularly difficult circumstances
Maybe. Maybe not. I’m really privileged
What do you mean by that?
Like I'm really lucky, like in the grand scheme of things, I’m blessed
And do you think that means you can’t be in need of some help?
Well no, not exactly
[text message]
Melissa, you know it’s the policy here that
there's no phones-
Yeah I know
to respect the privacy of-
I know!
Okay
You... may check it if you think it’s very important
No. It's fine
It’s probably Zoe
but she was fine last time I texted her, so...
Do you think it's...
important to be so connected with Zoe and what she’s doing so often?
I don’t know. Sure
One might worry that your mental health might be… ignored, or…
connected. Do you ever consider what you might do if Zoe were to take her own life?
I don't know
I mean I have thought about it
But I don't know
Is it something you think about a lot?
Jeff
Yeah. Yeah, it is something I think about a lot
Okay?
Is it important for you... to know
that Zoe is very depressed?
Do you think you can help her?
Can you help her?
Because I can’t
No one can help her. No one can help anyone
Do you believe that?
Do you believe that you can be helped?
Look, Jeff
I know you’re trying
and that’s cute
but I gotta go
It just feels like this is more about your agreement with my mom than my relationship with anyone
Okay
I'm sorry you feel that way, but
I understand where you’re coming from
Okay, Jeff
Don’t stop taking your medication
Yeah
Of course
Okay
Say hi to your marriage person for me
I’ll tell her. Thanks
See ya
♪
[phone message:] Hi, Zoe. It’s Melissa. Call me back whenever you get the chance. Thanks
[phone message:] Hey, it’s me again
Sorry to bother you, I just really want to talk
Never mind, it’s nothing. Look, just give me a call whenever you can. It’s not a big deal, just, uh… yeah. Okay
[phone message:] Hi, Zoe. Look
I just wanted to let you know I’m fine
and you don’t need to worry about me
You don’t need to call if you don’t want to
[phone message:] Hi Zoe. It's Melissa. Call me back whenever you get the chance. Bye
[phone ringing]
[answering machine:] Hi. You’ve reached the home of Amanda, John, and Melissa. Sorry we're not here right now. Leave a message if you wanna talk
[phone ringing]
[answering machine:] Hi. You’ve reached the home of Amanda, John, and
[phone ringing]
[answering machine:] Hi. You’ve reached the home
Oh, hey. Nice of you to show up
And you brought your boyfriend. Classy
Well, I know Melissa too, so-
Shut up, Cam
Well?
No change
Not now, Cam
Do you know what she took?
Yeah
Well what did she take?
Oh!
You want to know about what’s happening in Melissa’s life? I can never remember with you
Could you please just tell me what- what did she take?
Tylenol and Vodka
Tylenol?
And Vodka
Is that deadly? Can you die from that?
She could also have brain damage. Hence the ER
How likely is that?
I don’t know, Veronica! You have a phone. Google it
Wow, this is really serious
Yes. It is
I’m so sorry
So you’re Zoe
Hey
I am
Wow
Do you know… I mean
Do you know why she did it?
Her mom thinks it was stress
She tried to kill herself because of test anxiety?
I don't know, Veronica. Because maybe
that couldn'tve been the only thing that was stressing Melissa out
Oh, you’re one to talk
Do you really think it was stress?
No. Obviously not
If it was so obvious, why didn’t you see it coming? Or did you know and just didn’t care?
I- I didn't. I was preoccupied
Self-absorbed
Did you even know she was in therapy?
Did you?
Is she here right now?
Is she here? No shit, Sherlock. I didn’t pick some random place to sit and wait
Is Melissa’s mom here?
No. She went to get snacks and blankets because we’re prob’ly gonna be here all night
Thanks for texting me
How’d you get my number?
It was in Melissa’s phone
Right
Did she have her phone with her?
That's how she called me
She called you?
Yeah. What'd you think?
I don’t know
What did she say?
That she's sorry. And she hopes I have a good life
How did she sound?
Drunk
Terrified
Silent
Was there a note?
I think that's what the call was for
Are you pissed she didn’t call you?
She can call whoever she wants. I don’t care
Were you two dating?
Oh, were we dating? No
I mean. Veronica said that maybe you
Veronica said what?
You’re just really close. I don’t know
Well you two are really close
But that’s different
How's that different?
Why's that different?
Because I'm queer?
You’re just always texting her. It seemed like you’re in love with her or something
I’ve never been in love. Why don’t you tell me about it?
It’s… good
Are you okay, Zoe?
Yes
Are you sure?
Do you wanna... talk about it?
There’s nothing to talk about. My best friend’s in the fucking ER, you idiot
He’s just trying to be nice
It's okay
It just really... puts it into perspective, you know?
Life is fragile and
I don't know why anyone would do it
Like
If you're dead, it's all over
I just don't get it
Maybe if you're terminally ill or something
Then it’s okay I guess
What counts as being terminally ill?
It means when you’re going to die soon from it anyways, so it doesn't-
I know what a terminal illness is, Veronica. I just don’t know what counts as a terminal illness. Because I think it's pretty subjective
It’s not subjective
Where are you going?
I don’t know! I don’t know
Tell Melissa I’m sorry too
Zoe, where are you going? Zoe!
Should we go after her?
I don’t know...
She probably just needs space
Maybe we should go home
We can check in with her in the morning
We can come back here tomorrow
Bring breakfast
Come on, babe
Let's go home
I'll drive
No. Uh, Cam
I'm gonna stay here actually
Okay. No, that's fine. I'll stay with you
It's okay, you can go
You're right
Go home and get some rest
And come back in a few hours with coffee and donuts
No, won't you be lonely?
Melissa's mom will be here
Okay
Goodnight
Yeah, hi. Is- is this Zoe?
Hey, it's Veronica
I just wanted to see if you're okay
Okay, well fuck you too
Look, Cam's gone home
Do you wanna keep me company?
Yeah, no, that's okay. Yeah. You too. Stay-
Safe
[phone ringing]
Yeah, uh, yeah hi?
I- I'm glad
Yeah I'll see you in a little bit, Zoe
Thanks
♪
[APPLAUSE]