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Jacque Fresco - What Causes Anger? - Jan. 26, 1974

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Normal people don't seem to care or pay much attention to anything unless you spell it out that way. If you walk into a garage, and the guy who's going to fix your car says "I'll have it Wednesday for you." You come back Wednesday. He says "Thursday for sure." You come back Thursday, then he says "Why don't you come back Friday? I'll have a guy on it for sure." You keep coming. The other guy doesn't give a shit. He's got ten million other people who want their car right now. The first delay you come at him, but not angry. You say "I brought my car in because you said you'd have it Friday. I've got other things to do. " You're not angry, but you look angry. He gets angry. In the real world you can't get anything done with gentility. Christ says "Sure let it go. We'll make another one." [pfft sound, chuckle] In your world you can't do that. You have to generate the action pattern required by the person you're dealing with. Ok? All right. In dealing with this whole thing of anger, what is it that happens to you when you get angry? It means the event occurred so suddenly, and it occurred outside of your range of expectation. The kid leaves his roller skate on the front stoop when your boss is over for dinner. He walks out, falls flat and breaks his hip. The reason for the great excitement is it was outside your range of expectation. What should be included in the range of expectation? You can't go out, sweep the area before the boss walks out. You can't take care of all those things. When the boss falls and breaks his hip, you don't say "Obviously, a roller skate being in the path of your step could produce that result. The hardness of concrete, the non-yielding hip, the condition of the bones result in a severance of the joint. Obviously!" Now the guy doesn't say "Another truth!" [laughter] He gets angry right? So if something happens beyond the range of control, you do all you can to help the person with the language they're used to. "I'm so sorry!" Set the hip, pick up the phone, call the ambulance. "What a terrible thing! How careless of me." Meantime bandage the thing. Do whatever you can, but the words must be there. Because if you just bandage him, take care of him, call the ambulance, which is all you can do, the very fact that you're sorry is obvious. To me it is anyway, no matter what a person does. It means that in terms of events that happen, here's what you have to do now: you have to wait 'til the next thing happens. When you bring a bowl of soup to your boss and you spill it in his lap accidentally, you say "What have we here?" You know what that means? To yourself "What have we here?" A bowl of soup in the boss' lap! What is required? This happened so fast. "Oh, my God, how awful! I can't believe it. It's hot!" You get towels and everything. But you don't just get the towels and throw them on the lap. He says "Aren't you sorry?" You say "Yes but that's not gonna dry you off. The towels will so let me get the towels." Or you see an older person trying to change a tire. He got a flat on the highway. You say "Are you having difficulty changing that?" Just get over there and change the goddamn tire. "Thank you young woman. Fine. God bless you" Don't say "Well, I don't need that shit!" Just change his tire and say "It's a pleasure to help a friend or man in need." Do that. I don't really think that way anymore. I just help him change the tire. When he says "God will bless you today," I say "May God bless you from here on out." Go all the way. Wishing a person a happy birthday is a nothing thing, but doing something for the person is a something thing. Getting angry is a nothing thing. You have to ask yourself how many nothing things a day you do. What a fantastic list that would be. There's probably one area that you might check which is doubtful. We do a lot of nothing things, and we're not used to the idea of the unexpected. So whenever a negative incident occurs, try it. What is the most appropriate thing to do? But what happens automatically. You get angry. That's automatic, because of the way you were brought up. No one ever stopped you. If you work with children, what you do is: when they get angry when something happens, I always say "You want to go to a movie this afternoon. If you continue the anger there's no movie this afternoon." So they go like this "I ain't angry no more." Then that old lip comes out again, and they start crying again. I say "Oh, oh, no movie tomorrow then. You just wiped out tomorrow." Then they wipe their eyes. What you do is you reinforce the wiping of the eyes and away from anger. Once the kid does it you buy him an ice cream cone, you take him on a merry-go-round. You say "Jesus, you got over that anger real fast!" And he might say "Well, that's because I'm getting bigger now." Whatever they say, you say "That's terrific!" Reinforce the elimination or minimization of anger. But if you spank the child for crying, this is no way to do it. Or just by saying "You are an older boy. You don't want to cry like that." You reinforce them for the cessation of the action that you want to see phased out. If you do that very early that child is going to have trouble in the world. Because when that child is working on something, and it breaks, the child sweeps it up. The teacher will say "Very interesting. Stoic, no feelings." The teacher will think that it's normal to get angry. That every normal, natural reaction is to get angry. And they think there's something wrong with you. They think that you don't have any feelings. If you didn't have any feelings, you wouldn't be sanding the surface trying to make it smooth. You wouldn't be trying to do a good job. If you turn on your radio control and the airplane crashes. What the hell is the name of that agency that inspects air crashes? Do you know? - "FAA" - Fine. What they do is they go over the airport and photograph the area of the wrecked plane: the broken wings, the tail over here, one engine here. They measure the marks in the mud, and they try to reconstruct what happened. They might say "It's a terrible crash. It's horrible." But their job is to reconstruct what happened. If you get angry, or if you get mad, or if you become emotional, very emotional, you can't help a person too much in this situation. If your little girl falls off a bridge in the water 50 feet below. "Oh. Oh. Oh. I gotta go off..." You just jump in the water if you can swim. You try to get her ashore, or you hold something out, throw a tire over, throw something in the water. If you get angry your judgement becomes impaired. You can't do the best job. So the best kind of anger: I am saying this, you don't get rid of the emotion of anger. You convert it to another pattern of going into the water, calling for help, picking up a long stick, doing things. In a boat, if there's fire at sea: before you jump off you throw over empty cans, everything that will float, anything, a rubber balloon, a tire. Just throw these things off the boat. That's the first thing, (because you can't tell the other people and start instructing them) so there's something to hang onto. If the boat bursts into flames, and you're terrified, all those minutes before the boat sinks, you've rendered no service to people that might be in the water. We would like to see people of the future never getting angry. What happens? They do have feelings, but their feelings are converted to an action pattern. Some people come to these sessions and say: "I don't believe in feelings, and I don't believe in emotion." I believe in all of those things, but I'd like to see them converted to a useful action pattern. So the next time you get angry or begin to get angry, like I said in many sessions, anger does not start like this: you're angry. Something happens. You start, [heartbeat sounds], and then you blow your stack. So somewhere down this line, as you begin to feel the tension going up, you say "Wait a minute." That's when you begin to evaluate the system. When you get angry it means you don't understand what I'm talking about, or you understand it linguistically but not behaviorally. That's going to take you a little while. You have to walk with one foot forward. If I had you in an environment, I would generate situations, and then you'd start laughing every time anything happened. I'd spill tar in your lap. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Then, when you come out of what we call the 'school of hard knocks'. The boss takes the scissors and cuts your hair, and she takes the scissors and puts them down, and she aims at his cigar and this and that. But she doesn't get angry anymore once the situation's done. The only time you get angry is when someone attacks you physically. When they touch you, grab you, then what you do is... Then your anger becomes converted to strategy. Strategy means 'How do I get rid of this situation? How do I defend myself?' Instead of saying, say, six guys get you behind an area and say "Ok, baby, take off your clothes." And you say "Jesus Christ, we can have more fun in my apartment!" "I've got everything, showers there and all." You try things like this. "Besides, you look like a good fuck," see? So you have them come over, and then you wait for an appropriate time if you can do that. If you can't do that, you can't do it. You understand that? Now when they get through with you, you say "It was terrific. Will we see each other again?" "You guys are terrific." You see? You can't make it by saying "I'm gonna go to the police. I'm gonna tell them what you did." They'll choke you to death because you can identify them. Now of course in the reports everyone will say you enjoyed it. Do you understand what I mean? You'll get all kinds of problems. Do you wanna live? Do you know what I'm getting at? What do you want?

Video Details

Duration: 10 minutes and 6 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: The Venus Project
Director: The Venus Project
Views: 143
Posted by: ltiofficial on Oct 7, 2012

Jacque Fresco talks about what causes anger (Jan. 26, 1974)

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