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En Proyecto

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I have nothing to say, but I want to say it all. Guido (Fellini 8½) Pick up the skittles and the ball for your mother... In 2008 my friend Guillero Ibañez, a filmmaker, and I decided to shoot in an abandoned small village in Burgos. Its former inhabitants go back once a year to find themselves again in the place they were born. Close to there we find the archaeologic site of Atapuerca, another way to revisit the past. We found a special magic in such a coincidence. We decided to make a film about it. We never finished it. What is an abandoned project? Is it like a broken mirror, in the pieces of which you can no longer see yourself? Is it a vain attempt to say things that will never be said again? Or is it the evidence of an inner drought, shameful and unmentionable? Memories of an illusion, of starting those days with a full sense of meaning. It is this very moment of certainty, of throwing away any fear for what it is to come. Or maybe not, maybe being also a bit afraid. Fear to disappoint. To fail in rising the occasion. But who can say he feels free of all these fears? Haven't we received the same education? Go ahead. Don't make a bad move. The way to success means no hesitation. Fragments of interviews. To the anthropologist. To the biologist. To the experts. To those other experts, in their memories. Perhaps my attempt to look back, to our dead movie, is not so different from the attempts we wanted to show in it. The question is always the same. Who were we? Who was I? Who am I? The expert must give his opinion. It is important to show some rigour, a high discourse. ... nor he'll know that a peasant's hands... they're hands that are leathery... he will know nothing. In our way to a dead end we decided to change the script and play to tell some fiction. Something didn't work out. We went back to the village again. This time the silence was its only inhabitant. - Miguel? - Yes. - You're ready, aren't you? - Yes. Ok, so when I say "action" just give me... 5 seconds... ... from 5 to 10 secs, all right? - Ok. - and you come in. All those shots we filmed come back to me now together with new feelings. So, what were you explaining then?... Emiliano knew we wanted to interview him and he got dressed up for the occasion. His elegance contrasted with a landscape made of ruins. ... with the mules and the theshing machines. This really kept you quite busy, but it was very... few technical advances. It was all about strength and time. The job was done by means of strength and time. And then we winnowed the straw piles lately with machines, but I've seen doing it even with wooden tools... This is doctor Sabater Pi, an expert in primates and a great draftsman. We interviewed him for our film because we believed he could tell us many things about human beings. He died the following year. I struggle to remember well that moment Video has brought back its vividness. ... forms of anthropocentrism. There are people with a huge interest in the origin of their names... .. of their family names. The question is: what shall I do with my own ruins? Where shall I search myself, in the things I pursue or in the things I leave behind? How many villages have been abandoned in the world? Hundreds of thousands. How many have returned? Almost no one. It's a... it's an epi-phenomenon. It' almost impossible to find a place with people returning... It's rare, it's an odd event. How many sites like Atapuerca are being excavated over the world? Three or four. How many are there? Hundreds of millions. Return to the past is a way to organize the present. This matter of returning to a village abandoned for economic and social reasons is due to somebody's particular psicology who intends to make a projection rather than a real need inside the group. Creating is like an inner fight, sometimes hard and cruel. Against my wishes, against all my burdens. Against that paralysis coming in the very worst moment, precisely when I'm so afraid to rest in silence. Against the imperative to have something to say. ... before he pulls! I don't want to play anymore. Sometimes I have the glimpse of everything being so simple. They're brief moments, like a soft laugh in the distance. But they disappear quickly, blown by the wind. A wind that one day will only bring silence but coming today full of future projects. It is so difficult to get rid of our dead weight, to resist the temptation of high subjects. To feel light again, like in the old times. To feel there is no failure if there is no way. If all is just a game.

Video Details

Duration: 15 minutes and 33 seconds
Year: 2010
Country: Spain
Language: Spanish (Spain)
Producer: Javier Giron
Director: Javier Giron
Views: 47
Posted by: javiergiron on Oct 6, 2010

A film about a cinema project I abandonded and about the meaning of failures in the context of one's artistic career.

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