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Overcome Perfectionism in Your Practice_Final

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>> The field of health coaching tends to attract people who are driven to learn, grow, and become the best versions of themselves. This is awesome. And, personally, I think it's one of the greatest things about this profession. We, as coaches, encourage balance and moderation for optimal living but often we forget that this principle should extend to our drive to succeed as well. It's wonderful to continuingly grow, and evolve, and challenge yourself to become better but when your drive to grow bid turns into perfectionism, expecting the best and only the best from yourself, this can actually be damaging in a variety of ways. In this lecture, I'll explain how seeking perfectionism can hold you back professionally and how this type of mindset can affect the clients you coach. I'd like to point out that we're talking about perfectionism in this module because it's directly related to goal setting and behavioral change. You can think of motivation as a spectrum. On one end, we're totally comfortable staying where we're at and we need to challenge ourselves to keep growing. On the other, for whatever reason is driving it, we're pushing ourselves too hard, and this is just as unproductive as being on the more lazy end of the spectrum because what happens in the long time is that you spin your wheels too hard and burn out. It's like driving a car 100 miles per hour, and then crashing it. You have to get out of that 0 or a 100 mentality and learn how to drive somewhere in the middle to find a healthy balance of working on yourself and accepting yourself. What happens with perfectionism is that it keeps us from really serving our clients. Are you waiting until you have the perfect website, business card, or headshot to promote yourself? Or are you working with practice clients until you have more experience as a coach before you start charging for your services? These are just two examples of how perfectionism works against us in becoming successful coaches. We hold ourselves back out of this fear of not being ready, but the thing is, you're here, and you're ready. Perfectionism also increases the likelihood that we'll give up on our goals because we make it harder on ourselves than it has to be. What do you do when challenges come up in your coaching practice or your business? Do you get flustered and throw in the towel? Do you burn yourself out by dumping all your energy into achieving your desired outcome? Do you tell yourself that story about how you're not cut out to be a coach or run a business? Or are you able to step back and walk away accepting where you at in the moment, noting the progress you've made so far? If you've fallen into the perfectionist trap, you're more than likely to give up on yourself, coaching, and running a business. If you hold yourself to a really high expectation, you're small steps of progress may totally go unnoticed, and you'll devalue the journey of your growth. If your mistakes send you into a tailspin, you're not going with the flow. Remember, how you need to create goals that are aligned with how you want to feel? You need to approach your work from that space too. You can't set out to have a coaching business that makes you feel free and light if you're beating yourself up over your imperfections. You're going to feel heavy, and you'll end up working against your desired outcome, despite how hard you try. If we're creating friction in our lives in order to continuously move forward and do everything "right," we're not creating harmony in our lives. If this is your vibe, your clients will pick up on it. You may be able to roll like this in the short term but if you're constantly pushing, and pushing, and pushing, eventually something's got to give. It's true that in order to achieve new results, we need to do things differently and commit to our goals but long-lasting change comes from a place that's gentle, loving, and graceful. If you're moving from a gentle heart space, a place of realistic awareness of where you are, what you're doing, and the effect it's having on you, you're moving from a place of love. When you make these shifts from the heart, you're meeting yourself where you're at. And when you meet yourself where you're at, you acknowledge your achievements no matter how small, move at a steady but comfortable pace, expect and accept mistakes, and are humbled by your journey. The same goes for your clients as they try to make changes in their lives. This is why we've all had clients who want to get back into an exercise routine, so they throw themselves into workouts that no longer match their abilities, and come back to you totally discouraged and ready to throw in the towel because they've had a miserable experience, and they're so sore that they can't even walk the next day. Perfectionism breeds disappointment. When you set realistic expectations and put your ego aside to applause your baby steps, you can feel great and accomplished doing the exact same thing that from a perfectionist perspective, you might consider insignificant or mediocre. Your perspective, your thoughts, and beliefs set the tone for how you feel. If you're feeling good and positive, you'll be likely to repeat the behavior again, and you'll create a slow but steady trajectory of upwards progress. But if you jump into the deep end, expecting to be able to swim, and you struggle, your laziness and need for comfort will kick in, and it's going to be that much harder to try again tomorrow. If you're moving from a mental space instead of a heart space, you're operating from a place of shoulds and musts. From this space, your inner critic comes out, and your inner critic is going to be harsh. I mean, have you ever really listened to yourself talk, especially, when you don't do something as well as you'd hoped? Most of the stuff we tell ourselves, we would never say it to someone else. Often, it's straight up abusive. Left unchecked to say whatever they want, our inner critics are jerks because they see things in black or white, all or nothing. Perfectionists are typically successful-driven people, but this comes at the expense of listening to their inner critic all the time. This takes a toll on their psyche and there's an emotional price to pay for it. Stop for a minute and think about yourself. Would you say you're a perfectionist? Do you know people who would consider you an over achiever? Do you hold really high standards for yourself, perhaps, unrealistically high? Like I said before, this field tends to attract people who strive towards perfection, so it's okay if you're one of them. It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad coach. It's just important to recognize your self-tendencies so that you don't let them interfere with your coaching. This is important not just so that we don't burn out but also because if we hold unrealistically high standards for ourselves, we're going to have the same kind of expectations for our clients. Simply put, we're not going to be our best as coaches, we're going to be more likely to judge our clients when they don't meet our expectations for them to make the kind of progress we want them to have in our programs. To help you assess your drive for perfection, be sure to check out the handout Perfection or the Pursuit of Success. If you're used to letting your inner critic dictate success, you're not going to be able to meet your client's where they are, and genuinely celebrate their small victories with them, and you're not going to be very patient when they get stuck. They'll pick up on your disappointment, and they'll walk away feeling like your program wasn't that great at all. Good coaching always involves meeting our clients where they're at, you can't fake this, it's part of being authentic. You might wish they were progressing faster, but you need to be able to accept that everyone moves at their own pace, and the pace that they move at has nothing to do with you as a coach. Remember, you're riding alongside your clients in their journeys. You're not and should never be the one in the driver seat. If you're trying to control your client's progress, you're satisfying your own need to feel like the program is successful, and you're defining success in your own terms, and if you're doing this, you're coaching through a biased lens. We're not going to be our client's best, most authentic cheerleaders if we're working with them from this place of bias. We simply cannot help our clients the way that we think they need to be helped, and that includes expecting them to achieve a certain outcome at a certain pace. We'll be disappointed, and they'll pick up on it. Remember the strategy of under-selling, over-deliver from HCTP? Apply it here. Set modest goals instead of challenging your clients with promises of drastic transformation. Create opportunities to experience and acknowledge progress no matter how small it may seem to you. The goal is to shift into a mindset of progress and accomplishment, then you can get really excited when your clients achieve even the smallest steps because you are authentically teaching them to appreciate progress in the right direction. If you teach your clients, who struggle with perfectionism, to do the same things I'm explaining to you in this lecture, change can start to feel light and easy. They'll end up accomplishing more than they'd set out to in the end, and you will over-deliver. So to recap, overcoming perfectionism is important for fostering our own personal growth and emotional well-being. We'll have an easier time achieving our goals and meeting ourselves where we're at if we ditch the inner critic and work from the heart. It's also essential we do this to keep bias and judgment out of the coaching relationship so that we can meet our clients where they're at. This week, I want you to pay close attention to your inner critic. When things don't turn out the way it's planned or don't do as well as something as you'd hoped, what do you tell yourself? Do you find yourself setting really high expectations for yourself? Or do you try and stay real? Engage in some reflection to determine if perfectionist tendencies are getting in the way of your personal growth or your coaching practice. Share your insights with us on the Facebook group page. I'd love to hear what you discover. Thank you so much for watching. Bye.

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Duration: 9 minutes and 4 seconds
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Language: English
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Views: 5
Posted by: integrativenutrition on Jul 6, 2018

Overcome Perfectionism in Your Practice_Final

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