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Joe Wong on Letterman

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I'm so glad you folks are in a good mood tonight because our next guest is a very funny gentleman. He's making his network television debut with us this evening. He performs regularly at the comedy studio in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Please welcome Joe Wong Hi everybody. So, uh, I'm Irish I read a report saying that a man reach their sexual peak at the age of eighteen, but I didn't know this until I was twenty-five. So the world will never knew what a stud I was. Nobody took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe. I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking. Because unlike sports, with parallel parking, the worse you are the more people you have rooting for you. I'm an immigrant, and I used to drive this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "If you don't speak English, go home." And, uh, I didn't notice it for two years. I tried really hard to become a U.S. citizen, and, uh, I had to take this American History lessons. where they ask us questions like, "Who's Benjamin Franklin?" The reason our convenience store gets robbed. "What's the second amendment?" The reason our convenience store gets robbed. "What is Roe versus Wade?" Two ways of coming to the United States. I have a family now, but, uh, I used to be really scared about marriage. I was like, WOW. Fifty percent of all marriages end up lasting forever. I just had my first child last year, and, uh, I was really amazed by it, you know. I was in the delivery room holding (on) my son, thinking to myself, WOW. He was just born, and, uh, he's already a U.S. citizen. So I said to him, "Ahh, do you even know who's Benjamin Franklin?" Now I have a sign on my car that says, "Baby on Board". This sign is basically a threat. It just says, "Uh, I have a screaming baby, a nagging wife, and I'm not afraid of dying anymore."

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 54 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Genre: None
Views: 280
Posted by: [email protected] on Apr 21, 2009

Joe Wong on David Letterman

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