Food for a Purpose_Final
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>> Hi again.
So far in this module, we've explored how our eating habits
can mirror other lifestyle habits
and four common one-size-fits-all approaches
to eating in the matrix.
As we've discussed, emotional eating
is about using food for purposes other than nourishment,
for example, as a coping mechanism for emotions
that we don't want to feel.
We're going to briefly review four of those purposes today
so that you can think about
how to use language to facilitate discussions with clients
and how their current approaches increase stress
and might lead them away from health.
We often use food for purpose.
Our motivation to eat doesn't always stem
from physical hunger,
and the foods we choose aren't always the foods that,
one, nourish our bodies or two, nourish our spirits.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could eat foods
that make us feel good on all levels, body and mind?
Our relationships with food run deep.
So for some clients,
it's helpful to honor the spiritual aspect.
For example, some clients
might really enjoy rituals around food.
These can be very nourishing.
Practicing gratitude is one form of this.
However, we might also use food
in order to fill a spiritual void.
Again, use your judgment here,
what works for one client
won't necessarily work for another,
and as always, explore all areas of a person's life.
That said, most clients who use food will likely fall
into at least one of four categories.
We talked about this a bit
when we explored connections between stress and eating,
but these are broad patterns that you can always return to,
so we want to highlight them again here.
The first category is, number one, for comfort or relief.
Just as some people turn to alcohol or drugs
to self-medicate,
some people use food for the same purpose,
to comfort, relieve, numb or escape.
Perhaps you are ashamed of how you feel.
Recall that we sometimes judge our own emotions
or perhaps you don't have anyone
that you feel comfortable talking to,
food can act sort of like a relationship,
and it's usually very accessible.
Remember how our reptilian brain seeks safety
and what's familiar to us?
Our favorite comfort foods provide both.
They're always there for us no matter what,
and they won't harm us, at least not right away.
They can also provide instant gratification
when we need a boost.
A bag of chips can send us into a numbing trance like state.
And we can escape stress
by losing ourselves in a rich dessert.
We also might use food
to create an artificial sense of balance.
For example, we might reach for foods high in energy
and low in nutritional value, like donuts or bagels,
which provide us with energy in the same way
that our morning coffee does.
When we're stressed or tired, we need a band-aid
as soon as possible so that we can get on with life.
And again, food is the most accessible form of relief.
We've all been there.
The bottom line using food for comfort
usually only provides short-term relief,
and it often leads us away from health.
The next category is, number two,
to gain a sense of control.
When our reptilian brain sense danger that we can't control,
we often want to feel and control ourselves.
Have you ever felt frazzled at work and skipped lunch
to prove to yourself that you can control your hunger
through willpower?
For many people, dieting, restricting,
and creating rules around eating can act as a home base
to return to whenever stress or anxiety creeps up.
You might compare it to perfectionistic tendencies,
everything has to be in perfect order
to feel good about yourself.
Think about the idea of all or none
that we discussed earlier.
Again, these ideas are related.
They're just different ways
of looking at the same basic themes.
The bottom line, using food as a means of control
often creates an emotional tug,
sometimes to the point where food is all you think about.
The irony is that the food, not you, ends up having control.
Now onto number three, to distract ourselves.
We've all been there.
We get home after a long day
and plop down in front of the TV
with a big bowl of popcorn, a box of cookies,
or whatever food calls to us and we chow down
or we continually refill our plate at a party,
simply because we need an excuse
to leave boring conversations.
It's normal.
As with all emotional eating, it becomes an area to explore
when it impacts multiple areas of life on a regular basis
when it becomes a habit or a cycle.
The bottom line, using food to distract
perpetuates mindless eating and disconnection.
We all use food to distract,
but people who chronically struggle with this
are usually avoiding something on a larger level.
Denial through distraction
is much easier than dealing with the roots.
However, it's just a band-aid.
It doesn't help us move forward.
Facing struggles isn't easy, it requires courage
and usually risk taking,
but choosing distraction and avoidance
often means dodging important areas of our lives,
and it inhibits greater health and happiness.
As a Health Coach, keep thinking about the metaphor of food.
Lastly, we have number four,
to fit in or connect with others.
Our eating habits can be motivated
by cultural norms and social influences.
We might make food choices to boost our self-confidence
or to help us cope with an unhelpful body image.
We might eat more or less
or eat different foods with certain people.
We might focus on what we should eat all day long
only to feel mentally exhausted by the end of the day
and reward ourselves with food.
Perhaps we hop onto the juicing bandwagon
to fit in with the healthy crowd at the gym.
Maybe we share nachos with friends before a game
even though we don't even like nachos
and we know that they give us indigestion.
The bottom line is we all want to belong,
but using food to do so can lead us away from health
by disconnecting us from our bodies, values, primary food,
personal power, and ironically others.
To recap, comfort, control, distraction,
and fitting in are four common ways
you might use food for purpose other than nourishment.
Let's close this module with five ways
that you can help clients navigate the eating matrix.
One, pay attention to the language your clients use.
Maybe using food to numb
is different than using it to comfort.
What metaphors and analogies keep coming up?
Two, model a lens of nonjudgmental curiosity.
For example, focus on how emotions serve a purpose.
Emotions provide information,
indicate a perceived need or want, and motivate behavior.
Help clients understand that they use food for a reason,
and continually return to questions like,
"How's that working for you?"
to help them see the bigger picture.
Three, use neutral language.
For example, how can you reframe habits that appear rigid
or dogmatic with other less negative words
that help your client move from self-should to self-care?
With an analytical client, you might think about
how a textbook might describe them.
With a more intuitive client, you might try visualization.
And remember that stories metaphors
and analogies can be very helpful.
Four, think about how your clients think.
Maybe your client appreciates more straightforward language
or maybe he or she speaks in more symbolic terms.
Again, pay attention to the language your clients use
and use that as a guide.
And five, use the three lenses of mindset, mindlessness,
and disconnection.
As a Health Coach, it's helpful to have a home base.
Just as you return to the same themes in this course
in order to review helpful frameworks,
you can return to these three lenses
to help your clients focus on the bigger picture.
Emotional eating is complex, but at the end of the day,
you want to help clients become unstuck, right?
Focusing on broad themes can propel forward movement.
Are you ready to practice?
This week, sit down with a coaching partner
and guide him or her through the How You Do exercise.
Practice those high-mileage questions
and use the Navigate with Neutrality exercise afterward
to reflect on your use of language.
Send out any insights to the Facebook group
making sure to keep your partner anonymous.
And finally, share this information
with someone in your life who might value it.
Until next time.