Dan Siegel - How to Successfully Build an 'Integrated' Child

- - - - - - And one of the key words you have mentioned already but it's continue to come up tonight is this word: INTEGRATION. So what is it and why do we want it, and what do we look like when we have it? You can come up with a proposal that health and wellbeing are based in a fundamental shared mechanism called: INTEGRATION. Integration is where you have separate aspects of a system, lets say the system of this stage as under Mariann and me. For us to be integrative, we do two things: we have to differenciate from each other, that is Maria, as a unit of the system, as it becomes specialized, differenciates in her history, in different things she does, she has different talents, different abilities, different knowledge, and from me, and I differenciate from her, and so the first step is that we honor each other for the differences. But to be an integrated system here on the stage we have to then link with each other in communication that is compassionate and kind and caring. So for a realtionship that's integrated you have what's called integrative communication. Which is basically by the way the sum of the entire field of the attachment research. In one sentence: secure attachment is based on integrative communication. Honoring differences, promoting linkages. That's the whole thing with your kid, wether it is a baby or teenager, or adult at home. Okay, so that's about relationships.