World Collapse Explained in Three Minutes
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Time now for John Clarke and Bryan Dawe
with a few reflections on
Europe's financial woes.
Your name is Roger, yes?
Roger!
Aah, that's your name.
Roger.
Good, and what do you do Roger?
I'm a financial consultant.
Aah, financial consultant eh?
Roger, yes.
Yeah, terrific..and Roger, how's business
at the moment?
Not bad, thank you.
Aah, it's been a bit quiet lately.
How do you mean "lately"?
Since the war, it's been a bit quiet.
Fair enough. OK Roger, your special subject
tonight is the economies of the European
community. Your time starts now!
Best of luck.
Thank you.
How much does Greece owe Roger?
Ah. 367 billion.dollars
Correct, and who do they owe it to?
Mostly to the other European economies.
Correct, how much does Ireland owe?
$865 billion
Correct, and who do they owe it to?
Other European economies mostly.
Correct, and how much does
Spain and Italy owe?
One trillion dollars each.
Correct! Who to?
Mainly France, Britain and Germany.
Correct, and how are Germany, France and Britain going Roger?
Well they are struggling a bit, aren't they?
Correct. Why?
Because they've lent all these vast amounts of
money to other European economies that
can't possibly pay them back!
Correct. So what are they going to do?
They are going to have to bail them out!
Correct. Where are they getting
the money to do that Roger?
Hahaha. That's a good question?
I don't know the answer to that one!
How much does Portugal owe?
Hang on a minute! What was the answer
to that earlier question?
Just keep answering the questions Roger.
Where is Portugal going to get the money it owes to Germany
if Germany can't get back the money
that it lent to Italy?
Just a minute. What was the answer
to the previous question?
The question was, how can broke economies
lend money to other broke economies, who
haven't got any money, because they can't
pay back the money that the broke economy
lent to the other broke economy
and shouldn't have lent it to them
in the first place because the broke economy
can't pay it back!
You're wasting very valuable time Roger!
How much money does Spain owe to Italy?
41 billion dollars,
but where are they going to get it?
Correct, but what does Italy owe to Spain?
27 billion, but they haven't got it. They're broke!
Correct. How can they pay each other if neither of them has any money?
They're going to get a "bail out" aren't they?
Correct, and where is the money coming from
for the "bail out"?
THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING YOU!
Correct. Why are people selling the European
currency and buying the US dollar?
Because the US economy is so much stronger than the European economy.
Correct. Why is that Roger?
Because it's owned by China.
Correct! And very well done.
And after that round, you've lost a million dollars!
I've lost a million dollars?
I thought you said well done!
Yes, well done.
You've only lost a million dollars.
That's an extraordinary performance Roger.
I've only lost a million dollars
Very well done.
And that's quite good is it?
Oh it's excellent!
Sell everything immediately. Quickly!
I think it's called "laughing as you sink".