Marwan Aqeel and English Language

Alright as Indigani (introducer) said This is a reality, really I have no idea what English is Seriously, in Jeddah comedy club, Yasser Bakr meets with all the comedians except me because I don’t speak English Seriously seriously it made me depressed I have been through situations that made me hate English that I don’t want to learn it Once we went to Dora resort They recruited foreigners who spoke English only Because they didn’t want Saudis to go there Because the resort became “a European place” In fact, Saudis still can go there Anyway, I pulled my car in front of the booth A man said to me "where are you going" I said I am going to b!tch Easy Easy he said WHAT I said I’m going to b!tch I said swimming swimming swimming swimming I said swimming until I drowned but he still didn’t understand me but do you know the (ING) grammar rule the I N G I am crazy (ING) ladies and gentlemen I can teach you the (ING) rule The easiest thing ever I swear it is the easiest Put any word with (ING) and it works I was so exited that my English teacher said to me what’s your name I said MarwanING all of that was nothing after I divorced that ugly woman my mother introduced a new woman to me she was really polite and educated and perfect the girl was just perfect but she had only one problem she talked in English all the time Do you know the kind of girls who speak English all the time who like playing cards so English and she only talked in English so right before engagement she got my number somehow she said look Marwan Before we get engaged officially, I would like to know you better I said that’d be cool What about if we don’t even get married something to think about She said no, you have to prove to me that you love me before getting married I wanna know girls who told you that wrong idea Why do we have to get married in order to prove our love? no trusting us at all WHY so, she only talked in English Every time she texted me in English, I send it to my relative who studies in the U.S. to translate so every time she texted me I replied “I’m busy” “I’m busy” and I swear I was not busy at all but I didn’t understand the language “I’m busy”, “I’m busy”, “I’m busy” until she got fed up and wrote me a whole ‘map I replied I AM MEETING the problem was that she was sending me all those songs in English she sent me Eminem What the hell do I understand from that are you mad at me or are we separating she could have explained then, she complained to her father her father called me and asked me to see him oh God, he was gonna make me take the TOEFL What do I do? What do I do? I went to the bookstore I picked up a book Learn English In Six Hours I thought that was smart The first thing is to take out three sentences from your daily life and learn them in English I though it’d make English easier So I felt confident after having learned some English I went to their house she was sitting in front of me her father, the idiot, was there so, as I sat down she stood up she yelled, tell me why..tell me why she said the (F) words Do you know them Oh happy you know them What do you want me to do All of us know them It is clear that I couldn’t say what they were are we kidding each other on stage all of us understand each other alright people, I was sitting there and she stood up so I stood up and said I stood up and said stop Apple Windows SAMSUNG Papa Jone's Baskin Robin's Godzilla Avatar Titanic Game of Thrones The Lord of The Rings season one season two season three Excuse me Prison Break that was all really quickly, thank you everybody