Marwan Aqeel and English Language
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Alright as Indigani (introducer) said
This is a reality, really
I have no idea what English is
Seriously, in Jeddah comedy club, Yasser Bakr meets with all the comedians except me because I don’t speak English
Seriously seriously it made me depressed
I have been through situations that made me hate English that I don’t want to learn it
Once we went to Dora resort
They recruited foreigners who spoke English only
Because they didn’t want Saudis to go there
Because the resort became “a European place”
In fact, Saudis still can go there
Anyway, I pulled my car in front of the booth
A man said to me "where are you going"
I said I am going to b!tch
Easy
Easy
he said WHAT
I said I’m going to b!tch
I said swimming swimming swimming swimming
I said swimming until I drowned but he still didn’t understand me
but do you know the (ING) grammar rule
the I N G
I am crazy (ING) ladies and gentlemen
I can teach you the (ING) rule
The easiest thing ever
I swear it is the easiest
Put any word with (ING) and it works
I was so exited that my English teacher said to me what’s your name
I said MarwanING
all of that was nothing
after I divorced that ugly woman
my mother introduced a new woman to me
she was really polite and educated and perfect
the girl was just perfect
but she had only one problem
she talked in English all the time
Do you know the kind of girls who speak English all the time
who like playing cards
so English and she only talked in English
so
right before engagement
she got my number somehow
she said look Marwan
Before we get engaged officially, I would like to know you better
I said that’d be cool
What about if we don’t even get married
something to think about
She said no, you have to prove to me that you love me before getting married
I wanna know girls who told you that wrong idea
Why do we have to get married in order to prove our love?
no trusting us at all
WHY
so, she only talked in English
Every time she texted me in English, I send it to my relative who studies in the U.S. to translate
so every time she texted me I replied “I’m busy”
“I’m busy”
and I swear I was not busy at all
but I didn’t understand the language
“I’m busy”, “I’m busy”, “I’m busy”
until she got fed up and wrote me a whole ‘map
I replied I AM MEETING
the problem was that she was sending me all those songs in English
she sent me Eminem
What the hell do I understand from that
are you mad at me or are we separating
she could have explained
then, she complained to her father
her father called me and asked me to see him
oh God, he was gonna make me take the TOEFL
What do I do? What do I do?
I went to the bookstore
I picked up a book
Learn English In Six Hours
I thought that was smart
The first thing is to take out three sentences from your daily life and learn them in English
I though it’d make English easier
So I felt confident after having learned some English
I went to their house
she was sitting in front of me
her father, the idiot, was there
so, as I sat down she stood up
she yelled, tell me why..tell me why
she said the (F) words
Do you know them
Oh happy you know them
What do you want me to do
All of us know them
It is clear that I couldn’t say what they were
are we kidding each other on stage
all of us understand each other
alright people, I was sitting there and she stood up
so I stood up and said
I stood up and said stop
Apple
Windows
SAMSUNG
Papa Jone's
Baskin Robin's
Godzilla
Avatar
Titanic
Game of Thrones
The Lord of The Rings
season one
season two
season three
Excuse me
Prison Break
that was all really quickly, thank you everybody