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Zhanna Dosmailova - Vannovka, Kazakhstan - Kazakh (Global Lives Project, 2009) ~00:30:01 - 00:49:42 - Life Story Parent Interview Part 3

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He works well with them because I'm not a good educator. I am soft-hearted and I can only give them care, and good food, pretty clothes and a nice house. I can give the care that's in my heart, but I'm not a good educator for them. In education, as you know, there has to be a correlation. You need to be both strict and soft. And Kairat is. He can be strict but he can also show his soft side. He is closer to the kids than I am. He talks to them a lot, he takes them to different cultural events, cultural activities, as we say, and he organizes all kinds of holidays for them. In the meantime, my job is a little different, like housekeeping, that is not easy. I work on reports, and other tasks. Kairat is closer to the kids. Thus we... Our friends say that Kairat and I are a good team, and so we work together as one. To continue what Gulshat was saying, of course, a lot of people say "May God give you hope", but I, from the real God... Seeing support from God, knowing God... How... How do I put this... ― You need no other evidence... ― Yes, I need no other evidence. I need nothing else. If I... listen to God's words and do as he says. Of course, there are many things about me, each person has flaws, and I get rid of those flaws. And when we're getting rid of flaws, in times of hardship God saves us. You talk a lot about God. What is your religion? I want to say this. Religion... The idea of religion came from man. I only believe in the one God in the sky, and I don't connect myself with religion. You talked earlier about drugs, alcohol etc. Are those common in Kazakhstan? Definitely, definitely. Especially when I was growing up. If you weren't doing drugs, marijuana and the like, if you weren't drinking vodka, then you were, let's say, second-best. Drugs were how you showed yourself, a way of making yourself worthy. Many people started this way, from a young age they would look up to their elders, and the elders were doing it. They would say "Why am I not doing this?", and so they would strive to be like them. Gradually it becomes a habit, and once it has become a habit, they move on to other drugs, ones stronger than marijuana. This is how you get trapped without knowing it. In all man's honesty, I cannot say for sure but probably fifty percent of youth experience this. They first start out of interest, thinking it is interesting and they want to try it. And finally, they get caught in a trap. Once you start using those things, they won't let you go. We want to say to the young people in Kazakhstan and around the whole world, don't come near those nasty things. Because once you start, you can't stop. To get out of it, is very difficult. I know this, Kairat was set free only with God's power. We have a good acquaintance who's a doctor. He says "Neither medicine nor money can save you from drug addiction." We're 100% sure that Kairat was set free with God's power. These things doesn't attract him now. Since we are located in Kazakhstan, in Central Asia, it's no problem to find drugs here. Would you like to add something else, possibly? Sum up, maybe ... To sum up... At the end of the day, there are so many good people in this world, so many... people with pure and brave hearts. If we belong to those people, and if the children that we are raising grow into respectable citizens who serve for the benefit of their land, we will be very happy. This is our goal, for these growing boys and girls to be Kazakhstan's well-known, renowned people, serving for the benefit of their land. We want them to become educated and knowledgeable. Of course, it's not these kids' fault that they are separated from their parents. For that, they are here getting a good up-bringing. Firstly, God’s help, secondly, now God is using us to bring up those children. People say "What you see at home, you will see outside of the house". Here is their family, that is why they are here. Everything is good. They are getting a good education. At the moment they study at a school named Pushkin, all of our children study hard. Only little Andrey, his study is a little difficult. He is a little lazy, but we are working with him now. But we have hope for him too. If they study well at good universities, we hope that they will become educated citizens. We believe that our hope will come true. Of course, if there are a lot of knowledgeable children, this is not bad for our republic. This is our contribution. It is better than, if they are outside, if the are full-mouthed, they are bad… Kairat’s past life was difficult. If they do not go this way. So… Girls also do a lot of bad things. If they could pass these things, we want to protect them. This is our first goal. All we want is for them not to experience the difficulties we have experienced. What I want to say first of all… This private orphanage… Its founding was not a coincidence either. For example, our friends, they also want to help Kazakhstan. So they wanted to contribute and kindly opened this house. Well, it is all. For these children, left without houses, to people, who give them money to make a living, we want to express our gratitude. Well… We want to be honest in this job. We wanted to say this. Please, tell us a little bit about Zhanna. What kind of girl is she? What kind of character is she? Yes, Zhanna has a lot of names. Let’s start from Zhanna’s birth. For example, when I was pregnant with Ilyas, my daughter Dana was still alive. I was pregnant. And as we can say now she was a little selfish. She said “Why? Aren’t we enough for you? We are enough!" It happened. Then, when I said “Zhanna, you are not right. It is a gift from God”, She said “OK, but it should be only a girl”. I said “OK, if it is a girl, we will call her Sara”. Our Dana, oops, Zhanna has three names. Zhanna, Sara, sometimes she calls herself Stephanie. I called her Sara until she turned two. Because when I was pregnant, it stayed in my mind, Sara, girl. By Dana’s order she became Sara in our minds. When Dana passed away, the baby in me was 4 months old. In the fifth month of my pregnancy I had an ultrasound and the doctors said it was a boy. Kairat called him Ilyas. When I was pregnant with Zhanna, and before Dana died, she was in coma. Doctors thought that she would not wake up, but when she woke up Nurses at the resuscitation department didn’t know Dana well, When they were saying “Zhanna. Zhanna” She “I am not Zhanna. I am Dana” “My mother is pregnant”, she was speaking Russian a lot, “by the way, my mother is going to have a baby”. Dana said “Maybe it will be a girl. She will be Zhanna”. She said “Mom. If it is a girl. Let’s call her Zhanna”. I agreed, and then, when I did an ultrasound, the doctor asked “who do you have?”, I said “boys”. He said “And this is a girl” so I said “Oh, so she will be Zhanna”. This is the history of Zhanna's birth. By her sister Dana’s order she became Zhanna, but as I thought before about the name Sara, sometimes I called her “Sara. Sara”, now I have forgotten. And also. In Shymkent, on the cable television there is a program called “Djetics”. There are a lot of cartoons there. There is a sporty girl who likes to dance, she was her idol: “Oh, I am like Stephanie. I dance, I am like she is, my name is Stephanie”, she would say. And there is a negative character, Robby Bad. When Kuanysh comes and takes away the TV and panel, she says to Kuanysh “Robby Bad came”. And what kind of girl Zhanna is… Mmm… She is her father’s daughter. Let her father tell. She… There is a saying. Every child is a moon for every parent. The same is for us, our Zhanna is our gold, our sweet. When you see what children are doing, every father, every father when he sees his son or daughter, he becomes softer and more proud of the child, so he wants to talk about it with others. She has a lot of interesting activities. When you are tired after work and see her... When she hugs you, plays… you are resting. At our age, for example, forties, at our age we have this child. For example, a lot of people in their forties play only with grandchildren. Zhanna takes us… How… She gives a treat to us. We cherish her and nurture her. She… Yes her character, how can I say… When we were living in Shymkent, she… Our relatives lived near us. All of their children were boys, no girls. So, Zhanna was growing up with boys. Only one girl. That is why her character is like a boy’s character a little bit. After we moved here, Roma, who is the same age, is a boy too. There are girls here Lena and Anya, but they play only a little. Lena and Anya want to play, but Zhanna plays only little with them, basically only with boys. Zhanna’s character, she is independent. She does not need people very much, she can walk and play by herself. As Kairat said before, she was growing up among five boys. There were three boys on the upper floor of my sister’s house. Two boys at home and generally among five boys, her character became like a boy’s one. Now… So… Sometimes she gets tired of children and plays by herself. She doesn’t need anybody, but after we came here she quickly got along with people. She's open now, very frank and independent. Her character… When Zhanna was born, as I said before, she is her father’s daughter. For example, Dana did not see kindness and love from her father, because at that time Kairat was living for himself. Of course, Kairat loved Dana, but he was young at that time. He hadn’t yet felt a child’s sweetness, because he was a child himself. He had been living for himself, to satisfy his hungers. So he was drinking vodka or spending a lot of time with his friends. He didn’t have any interest in the family at that time. He came in the evening, everything is clean, everything is ready, as if it should be. He hadn’t understood the value of life and family. Dana almost did not get his father’s care. Or attention. She got very little care from her father. And after Dana’s sickness and death, when the doctor said that she will die, the most difficult thing for me was her young age, she had such a little life. It was difficult for her, she felt insulted by her father’s activities. As people say "If your dog is a thief, Kazakh will feel insulted." Like this, when her father was doing these bad things to her she was ashamed. She did not love her father. But, God did a lot of wonderful things. To say all of them would take a lot of time, they are never-ending. The last thing that I want to say, in Dana’s last two-three weeks alive, Kairat and Dana became friends with each other. When she became sick again, Kairat took her in his arms. They were sleeping in one ward at that time. When she was feeling well, when she was in a good mood, she was telling all her secrets to her father, they played, laughed and became good friends. She became proud of him and was telling the children at the hospital “My father now believes in God”. She was proud that "My father gave up all bad things”. They loved each other and became close friends. But all the things he didn’t do for her, he did for Zhanna. Zhanna is closer to her father than to me, for example, even when it comes to psychology. If a girl is close to her father she is cherished very much by him. When a father shows his care and love, he plays with the girl a lot. When they are teenagers, they don’t go out much. They don’t look for warmth and other things from boys because they already have kindness and love from their father. I think it is good for a child’s good upbringing. I am pleased for that. ― Thank you. ― We have talked a lot about orphanages, yes? Is it enough? ― Assel, it seems we spoke much more than planned? ― No, it is fine. ― Fifty two minutes. ― How many? ― Fifty two. ― Did they need sixty minutes? ― No, it is fine.

Video Details

Duration: 19 minutes and 41 seconds
Country: Kazakhstan
Language: Kazakh
Genre: None
Views: 87
Posted by: glpkazakhstan on Mar 2, 2012

Zhanna Dosmailova - Vannovka, Kazakhstan - Kazakh (Global Lives Project, 2009) ~00:30:01 - 00:49:42 - Life Story Parent Interview Part 3

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