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Let's Talk About Bathrooms

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I’D LIKE TO START OFF TONIGHT WITH A PERSON QUESTION, IF YOU GUYS DON’T MIND. A SHOW OF HANDS. 我想先问一个有关私人的问题,如果你们不介意的话。先做一个举手表决 HOW MANY OF YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM. 你们当中有多少人会上厕所? OKAY, LOOKS LIKE WE’VE GOT A MAJORITY. 看起来大部分人都需要 IT LOOKS LIKE WOMEN GO TO THE BATHROOM, TOO. 女士们原来也用去厕所 THAT’S DISAPPOINTING. 有点让人失望(我以为你们都不用的呢) I ONLY ASK BECAUSE IF YOU FOLLOW THE NEWS, THERE ARE A LOT OF NEW LAWS OUT THERE 我问这个问题是因为如果你关注新闻的话,可以发现现在有很多新的法律 LIKE DOWN IN NORTH CAROLINA 比如在北卡罗来纳州 WHICH ARE REGULATING WHICH BATHROOMS TRANSGENDER PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO USE. 限制了变性人可以使用哪种卫生间 THIS IS HUGE NEWS. EVEN THE CANDIDATES ARE TALKING ABOUT IT. 这个问题影响这么广泛,连候选人们都在讨论这个问题 AND NOW A PROTEST GROUP HAS COLLECTED 750,000 PLEDGES TO BOYCOTT 但是有个团体收集了75万份签名 THE STORE TARGET 抵制Targe百货商店 OVER THEIR POLICY OF WELCOMING TRANSGENDER PEOPLE TO USE WHICHEVER BATHROOM MATCHES THEIR PERSONAL IDENTITY. 因为它们允许变性人任意选择使用的卫生间 IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE A COMPANY CALLED TARGET 很难相信一家叫做Target(靶心,目标)的公司 WOULD EVER FIND ITSELF AT-- HOW DO I PUT THIS 会发现自己处于...我该怎么说呢 THE CENTER OF SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE ARE AIMING AT. 人们瞄准的中心... IT’S LIKE THERE IS SOME KIND OF SIGN ON THEIR BACK, MAKING IT EASIER TO SHOOT THEM. 就好像你背后贴了一个让人们更容易打击到你的标志一样 WELL, HERE IS WHERE I STAND. 但是我的立场是这样的 I KNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I STAND ON THIS ONE. 我知道你很关心我对这件事的看法 HERE’S THE THING. 听我慢慢道来 I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE MALE OR FEMALE 我才不管你是男的还是女的 WHAT SEX OR GENDER


IDENTITY SOMEONE IS 或者是其他什么特殊的性别类型 I-- AND I MEAN THIS SINCERELY 我,发自内心的说 DO NOT

 WANT TO SHARE A BATHROOM WITH ANYONE. 不想和任何人共用卫生间 FOR TWO REASONS 有两个原因 NUMBER ONE 第一个原因 AND NUMBER TWO. 和解小手 (No.1/2有第一第二,也有大便和小便的意思) (No.1/2有第一第二,也有大便和小便的意思) NO, I DON’T. 我很介意这种事 WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE ALL OF US IN THERE TOGETHER ANYWAY? 是谁的主意要把我们都放到一块去的? THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG. 这才是问题所在 I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT MY BATHROOM AT HOME IS NOT A 

TWO-SEATER. 我不知道你们家,但是我家马桶可没有副驾驶座 AND WHEN I AM FORCED TO USE A PUBLIC BATHROOM 而我不得不使用公共厕所的时候 WHICH IS 

INFREQUENTLY, THANK GOD! 感谢上帝,只是“偶尔”! I GO IN THERE WITH BLINDERS ON. 我是带着眼罩(防止马向两边看的护具)进去的 I DON’T KNOW WHO’S NEXT TO ME.
 IT COULD BE A CENTAUR NEXT TO ME FOR ALL I KNOW. 我不知道我身边是谁,哪怕是只人马兽我都可能不知道 I DON’T EVEN LIKE TO LOOK MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AFTERWARDS 结束之后我都不愿意去照镜子 I KNOW WHAT I DID. 我知道我刚刚做了什么肮脏的事情 I AM THERE FOR A SURGICAL STRIKE. 我就跟执行战术任务一样 GET IN, GET OUT, WITH MINIMAL CASUALTIES. 进去,出来,没有任何伤亡 SO IF THERE IS GONNA BE ANY NEW BATHROOM LAWS 所以如果你们要颁布新的有关卫生间法规的话 HERE ARE SOME

THAT WE ACTUALLY NEED. 我有一些切实的建议 FIRST OFF, NO CHITCHAT. 首先,禁止闲聊 I AM NOT THERE TO MAKE FRIENDS. 我不是到那里面交朋友去的 
IF WE HAVE JUST COME OUT OF A MOVIE, AND YOU ARE STANDING NEXT 


TO ME 如果电影刚散场你又刚好站我旁边 I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW IRREPLACEABLE

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. IS AS IRON MAN. 我不想讨论什么“只有唐尼才能演钢铁侠” I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE ROBERT DOWNEY JR. YOURSELF. 我也不在乎你是不是他本人 
SECOND, IF YOU’RE A FAN OF MINE, THAT’S WONDERFUL. 其次,如果你是我粉丝,这很好 PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO SHAKE MY HAND IN THERE 但是千万别想和我握手 BECAUSE I KNOW

 WHAT YOU JUST SHOOK. 我可知道你刚刚握了其他什么玩意 ALSO, IF THERE ARE A BUNCH OF OPEN STALLS, DON’T TAKE THE ONE 

NEXT TO ME. 还有,如果有几个隔间的话,别用我旁边的那个 IT’S NOT THE BUDDY SYSTEM! 我们可不是在玩背靠背 THOSE ARE JUST A FEW SUGGESTIONS. 以上是我的一些建议 AND TO ALL THOSE LAWMAKERS OUT THERE 对这些制定法律的人 WHO ARE SO OBSESSED WITH WHO IS


USING WHAT BATHROOM AND WHAT PLUMBING THEY’VE GOT DOWNTOWN, 这些关心谁用什么卫生间和卫生间怎么造的人 NEWS FLASH-- YOU’RE THE WEIRDOES. 我想说,你们才是怪胎

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Duration: 3 minutes and 4 seconds
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Language: English
License: Dotsub - Standard License
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Views: 27
Posted by: dannydanny on Apr 28, 2016

Let's Talk About Bathrooms

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