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YOU RACIST!

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-What's happenin', forum? So imagine that you're in your bedroom, getting undressed and you're butt-ass naked. But then you look out your window and you see this pervert. Buhh... Now, I don't know this perverted cat's name, so we'll just call him Quagmire. Now, Quagmire's video got, like, a half million views and I don't know why. I mean, look at him. Just creepin'. Waiting for you to leave the room so he can sneak in and sniff your underwear. And what's with cats, you know? I mean, a dog might rape your leg, but he isn't gonna cut off your penis and wear it like a mask like this freakin' stalker. Buhh...excuse me while I go take a shower. Okay, I actually didn't want to review the next video, but like literally billions of you sent it to me. Literally, billions... or hundreds, but you know, who's counting? So this awful video got like a million-and-a-half views in a day after it was promoted on FailBlog. And you know what? Just here...enjoy. [people speaking foreign language] Yeah, speaking of Ass Violator. Oh no, it gets worse. You've been warned. [people laughing] Wow, that Ugandan pastor would not approve of such behavior. Ugh, this video is some s--t, ain't it? So to speak. Why did you guys make me review that? And more than that, why is the other elephant just sitting there like, -Yeah, go ahead. Stick your trunk in there. Oh, very nice. -Ugh, I don't know. Maybe that's how this guy gets his peanuts. Oh, why did I make that joke? All right, that's it guys. Don't make me review anymore videos of nasty turd-burgling elephants, all right? Okay, so I actually do have something interesting for you. It's one of those things that's kind of racist but kind of f--ked up, but also kind of funny. And it's just a commercial for a local mattress store. -Hi, I'm Gary. At the one and only Gary's Mattress. Now with locations in Koreatown and Little Tokyo. We are karate-a-chopping a-prices just for you! Oh cho! Even we would buy it. At Gary's Mattress, we're blowing up prices! Yayayaya! -Wow, that is unfortunate. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I wouldn't buy mattresses from that guy. I mean, who's your target demographic when you trash everyone? And besides that, Gary's Mattresses are probably filled and stuffed with dead minorities. -We're scalping prices! -All right, so this video's old. It's been floating around the Internet for about two years. It's got about 2 million views and I don't know if it's real or not. I mean, look at that. Terrorist Gary? "I'm a suicide bomber and I'm so offended." But see, the address they give for the store doesn't check out on Google Maps. Also, the guy in it looks like a stand-up comedian that I've seen on TV. Which makes me think the video is fake. It also obvious seems a little too f--ked to have appeared on TV. -If you find a mattress at a better price, I'll kick a puppy and punch a kitten just for you! -All right, I've made up my mind. That is definitely not real. So there you go, guys. I gave you a perverted cat, a shit-eating elephant, and a racist mattress guy. That's it, I'm out. I'm gonna go have a beer. Oh, and the comment question of the day comes from a user named, bing!, and she said... -My comment question of the day is, where does steel wool come from? -So, where does steel wool come from? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comment section below. Oh, you know what? Let's change it up. Let's open the comment section of the day responses to Twitter and Facebook as well. So, leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Twitter or Facebook. But thanks for watching today's episode of =3. I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me forum, why are you here? [Stalkin' Your Mom by Wax playing] Captioned by SpongeSebastian -If you find a mattress at a better price, I'll kick a puppy and punch a kitten just for you!

Video Details

Duration: 4 minutes and 42 seconds
Country: United States
Language: English
Producer: Ray William Johnson
Director: Ray William Johnson
Views: 231
Posted by: spongesebastian on Sep 7, 2010

Equals Three with RayWilliamJohnson.

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