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Allan Pease RH

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Hello, I'm Allan Pease. I'm the author of the book "Body Language" and the series "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps". I'm from Australia; you probably guessed that from my accent. My expertise is teaching you how to work out what the other person is saying, what they're feeling, and importantly, what image you're projecting to someone. And that's what we're going to talk about right now. Body language makes up 60 to 80 % of all the impact of messages face-to-face, like we are now. So in other words, about 2/3 to 3/4 of how you come across is how you look, appear and behave. And if you don't get it right, especially in the first 4 minutes, when people make up to 90% of their impression, if you don't get these first 4 minutes right, you're in trouble. The bottom line is that body language makes up most of the impact face-to-face. And if you don't know how to come across, how to read how well you're going, you're just not going to be very successful in business, or in any relationship, because all business today, everywhere in the world, is about relationships. If you can't work out what the other person is feeling about what you're saying, if you don't know how you're coming across to the other person, you just won't be successful. You'll have to work on a computer. There are several simple ways to learn body language, to make yourself more efficient. One of them is to watch television, and turn the sound down. That way, you're forced, like a deaf person, to watch what's happening. And with the sound down, you can work out what's going on, you can train yourself to see things that normally you might miss, because we're so busy listening to things we miss a lot of what we see. Especially for men, men are not so good at reading body signals, women are very good at reading body signals, and this is the reason we encourage all men, that you should not lie to women to their face, because it's very difficult, you're better to call them on their phone or send an e-mail. To increase your efficiency in leadership and to make yourself more acceptable, there's a couple of simple things you can do. First is by copying the other person's behavior, we call this "mirroring". So however they're sitting or moving, if you sit and move the same way, they'll get the feeling that they like you, they trust you, because they see themselves reflected in you. The most important thing about leaders, leaders are open, they are never closed, they never have their arms crossed across their body, they don't have their ankles or their feet closed. Leaders remain open, in their face and in their body, which makes it easier for other people to feel relaxed, because to be a good leader, you must be non-threatening. To be non-threatening, you have to smile with your teeth visible, when you talk with people you use what's called "eyebrow flashing", every culture in the world uses this, monkey and chimpanzees do it too, it shows that you're non-threatening, that you're a friendly person. When you talk with a smile, with your teeth visible, and your body opened, and you copy people's behavior, and you nod your head as you talk, people find it very easy to follow your lead and to feel comfortable with you. One of the main purposes of body language is to get people to come up right and to feel comfortable. If people feel comfortable, they feel like you're not threatening, you're not intimidating, they're more likely to want to say "yes" to whatever you're suggesting, which is whatever you're selling, it's whatever leadership qualities you want them to take on from you. If you want them to follow you, we follow people that we like, we don't follow people that we don't like and who make us feel uncomfortable. Most managers, most leaders, are not aware of how they project an image face-to-face. The rest of us, we are very aware, because we can see that person. So to each of us personally, we don't know what we look like when we come across. Everybody else knows, because they can see us. A simple way of dealing with this is to get a small video camera, and you can do this at home, film yourself just managing and leading people, doing what you do normally. Maybe you can get someone in your office to do this secretly for you. Then leave it for a few weeks, and play it back with the sound off. Get other people, other leaders, other managers, to comment on what they think you're saying, or feeling, or projecting to the other people. That way you very quickly see things about yourself, that you're projecting something that might be aggression, when in fact you didn't mean to be aggressive, but you look like you're aggressive. Then you can start thinking "What are the things I need to introduce in my body language presentation, to make myself more acceptable, more confident, a better leader and for other people to want to follow me." And you can learn these things, that's what the study of body language is, learn to put positive things into your presentation, to make you more acceptable, and equally importantly, to avoid any of the negative habits you might have that when people are with you, they just find disturbing or irritating and don't want to follow you. Leadership is a skill, and you have to learn to put the good things in, and to identify what the negatives are and eliminate them.

Video Details

Duration: 5 minutes and 47 seconds
Country: Australia
Language: English
Producer: ???
Director: ???
Views: 76
Posted by: poulpe on Dec 7, 2014

Allan Pease talks about stuff.

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