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1. ANGER and Depression - Facing the Mirror of Consciousness as Reflection

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Desteni Presents: Vlogs from Afterlife: Ed - Part 1 Hi there, my name is Ed and..i have Recently..well, Recently is about past Seven months (um) joint the Interdimensional..Existence Here on Earth (um) - in any way Whatsoever my first..Experience..Within Myself (um)..after i..Realized - "Alright, i'm Dead." Here i am and..this I (um), of Me..was Messed Up: Pretty Much, Completely, Entirely - Messed Up..(um) and.. it Felt like..this wave of..Emotion, this Depression..this - Anger Overwhelmed Entire Completely that: i wanted "to Die" (smile) and it's Interesting because.. it is Actually Painful: Depression, Anger..Experiencing that as your very Being.. your know: my very Experience of me - that Heaviness of..this Deep.. Core Depression and Anger..and Disgust..and..Shame, because.. you: Really, Literally..Look - into a Mirror - when you're in the Dimensions There's Not One Moment of Your Life, That Is NOT There! that you don't See - you See Everything! (shake head) and..that is.. form there was a Shock Beyond Measures, for know, because.. i Lived my Life: Here on Earth, know, Not Even thinking, Not Even Considering that..i'll One Day: Actually Come - Face to Face with Me.. and Actually See: Every - Single - Point, Every Single Aspect of Me..and.. i've Done this World..of which - i Did Not Even Consider Others.. i Did Not Consider Consequences..i Did Not Consider..(chill) Any Effect Will Occur Within Anyway Whatsoever, in Other Words - Paying for What i Have Done, or Paying for..what i have..Allowed (um)..Paying for what i have Accepted - Me to Become..and.. it''s Not that, you know, you get to the Dimensions - and then, you Paid for IT (um) No, you DO Actually. So, it's not a's a..(deep breathe) man, you know, Standing there before YOU, before Yourself..that's, that's Heavy (smile) probably why the Heaviness was there, as well the Dimensions, i was Introduced to - Self-Forgiveness and..this Heaviness, this Anger, this Disgust: that Was Me i was Experiencing Me: as the Anger, as the Depression, as the Disgust.. as the Disappointment..and.. it Feels, as though goes in so Deep Inside me that..i Cannot Get it Out i Do Not Want to Get it Out, i Want to Die..i want, i wanted to Go Away i Don't want to Experience Myself in this way - and that Cause Even more Frustration know, the Last thing that i Expected: was to See Everything of myself.. and Also See the Consequences of myself - when i Die and..Everyone may Perceived it to be, you know: "Ah, it's Alright" (um).. from a World Perspective, you know, from your Experience - Here on Earth you know, you might Kind of go: you know, "Ah, it's Alright" (um).. what i Do, what i..Say..what i Act On..what i Participate in: (Pew) Makes No Difference, this is MY LIFE! this is MY Experience..(ahr) this is ME! this is Who I Am, you know, etc.etc. (smirk).."you Haven't Die YET", and Actually..came Face to Face - with Yourself if there Even Was a Hell, i would Define it as That. (node)..that Experience.. that..that's Hell. imagine, i mean..i'm just Hearing what i am Saying.. i am..that Hell - that i am Experiencing. and.. Self-Forgiveness..that was Hard, that was Difficult: Self-Forgiveness - Really Difficult the Dimensions you kind of: See your Actions, you See your Words.. you See your Participations it Affected the Other Beings' Lifes Wow! Jesus..Christ..i was Always this: Hard Cored Bad-Ass know, Not Giving a fuck - i'd be the Definition of: Ego - Literally (um)..but shit, i never..Believed, or Even Considered me to Actually Feel.. and what it is that i Feel..First: Depression, Anger, Frustration, Disappointment.. and Shame i mean, that was a Surprise for me, Even (um) the Beginning, as i've Said.. that Self-Forgiveness was Hard, it was Difficult to Do, because.. i Didn't Feel Worthy, of Even Forgiving myself - for what i had Done you know, what i've Allowed Me, when i Really See what i have Done.. well not only to Myself, but to Others As Well..(um).. took me awhile to get the Flow of it, you know: Self-Forgiveness Alright..(um)..i'll Continue in my Next Video it shows me i've got 8min. 37 and Counting Down. Thanks

Video Details

Duration: 8 minutes and 48 seconds
Country: South Africa
Language: English
Producer: Desteni
Views: 123
Posted by: desteniteam1 on Jun 29, 2009

my name is Ed and I have recently, well recently is about the past seven months um, joined the interdimentional existence and well it is nothing like here on earth in anyway what so ever.

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