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Is Marriage the right path? Sadhguru

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you're already married or not ? Well, most people ask this question after.. you are asking at the right time. let's understand, why marriage?, first of all, As individual human beings, either as a man or a woman, you have certain needs. when you are eight years of age, what's your name? Anusha ? Sadhguru: Anu ? Receiver: Anussha. Sadhguru: ok. If you are going to get married, we'll cut the name into half. we'll make you, Anu. Because, where will you get a Sanskrit scholar, to marry you? So, when you are eight years of age, If I said, "Anu, do you want to get married?" "What nonsense?", isn't it? I mean, it didn't mean anything, the question. yes? The question didn't mean anything. If ask to you when you was six, it didn't mean anything. when you are eight, depending upon what kind of family, either it would be a joke, or you resist it, or you would say "yes", without really understanding anything about it. If asked you the question, when you are fourteen, you would be little shy, because you are considering. Because, the body has started growing in a certain way. Hormones have started infecting the intelligence. and now.. thinking... when I ask you at eighteen, depending upon what kind of atmosphere, you are grown up in, either it is a clear "yes" or 'no, not now' or 'not at all' depending upon what's happen to you, from fourteen to eighteen. yes? So, now it's good, after passing all those stages, now you are asking the question yourself, not me asking you. or your parents asking you, you are asking the question yourself Do I need to marry? So, that needs are there Once you are a human being, there are physical needs. there are emotional needs, there are psychological needs, there are social needs, economic need, all these things are there. People may not want to consciously think about these things, because they think their marriage will become ugly, if they think about these things. but anyway, it is there. If it's an arranged marriage, somebody else is thinking about it. If you are arranging it yourself, you are definitely thinking about it. yes or no? All the considerations are there. So, today, for the woman, I am saying, the world has changed to some extent. For social and economic reasons, you need not necessarily get married. unless, you just come with the body. Unless, you just come with the body, without brain, For social and economic reasons, the woman need not marry anymore. she has a choice. she can take care of her own economics, her own social situations, it was not so, 100 years ago. where even if you did not have any physical, emotional, psychological needs, just for social and economic reasons, you have to marry. yes? But not anymore so, that's a little bit of freedom. at least two reasons, why you are getting married are out, Now, you have to consider the other three, psychologically, do you need a companion in your life? do you need emotional companionship? your physical needs, how strong are they? you must look at it as an individual. it is not a social prescription. everybody get married, everybody don't get married. it's not going to work. As an individual, how strong are these needs? is this a passive need that you can easily go beyond? if it's a passive need, don't get married, I am telling. Because, it is not worth getting tied up Because, with tying up, it will not just be two people. it will become four, six sometimes, I am not saying, it's wrong. do you want it, that's a question. each individual should consider this for himself. not by the social norm whatever may be the social sense, that's exactly what I was saying in the beginning you are turning spiritual, only if your choices are one hundred percent, YOU not because of other forces influencing you, your choices, is this needed? Now, Right now, people have found other kinds of solutions In the west and also, very much in India, also being happening, look, I won't get married. I will just live and live in, live in.. So, live in If you're just living with one person, anyway it is marriage ok. whether you have a certificate or not, but, if you are thinking, you can choose your partners every weekend, then, you are causing a serious damage to yourself. Because, as your mind has memory, your body has a much stronger sense of memory the reason, why we take you, into these kind of spaces, even, if you do not understand anything intellectually, why we constantly created spaces of energy, and spaces of other kinds of possibilities, because the body will imbibe and retain it body has a very strong sense of memory body will imbibe and retain it you may forget the Himalayas, the body will not forget the Himalayas always, it will remember. Mentally, you may get dementia and you may lose all memory, but, the physical body will carry it on. it will not give just because you lost your memory, you are not going to lose your karmic substance. So, physical intimacy, always is, this is in traditional, this is called runaana bandha, it develops a deep sense of memory, and too many memories, like this, leads to a certain level of confusion, and a certain level of misery you can clearly see this, you can very clearly see this, People who are loosed with their life, they will never know any real sense of joy, they are only.. like that... you please watch this carefully around you it is clearly there People who are very loose with their physical body, they will not, they can never laugh totally, nor can they cry totally, they will become like this Because, confusing memories in the physical body, in one life time, will create lot of impressions like this, So, that is not a solution at all, to handle this needs, either you go in the marriage, or you don't go into marriage, that will go beyond these needs, but this is something, individually you have to look at, how strong is the need. If you want to look at that, with clarity, without social influence, its not best Let's say you take a month off, stay in the ashram, just meditate, when you make decisions, you must be in a state of clarity, not influenced by anybody not by the guru, not by the society, you are not influenced by anybody, bring yourself to a certain state of clarity, in that clarity, see what is your need, how strong is your need really? If it is not necessary, that's it. Once you make a decision, don't look that way. If you make a decision to go that way, don't look this way. just do that One of these things you must do. If you hang around in between, you will remain in a constant state of confusion. this or that. which is the best thing, which is the best thing. There is no best thing. wherever, whatever you choose to do, if you put your heart and soul there and make it happen, that's the great thing. it's not the best thing, still. Because, there is no best thing in the world. If you, are really putting yourself into what you are doing, it's a great thing. But it's not the best thing. Best involves other people, isn't it? Best means, you have the best deal means, you are better than everybody else. It involves other people. that's a self defeating process. The moment you try to do the best, you are on a self defeating process. I'm done a great thing. This doesn't involve anybody. I'm just walking in the street, I think I'm doing a great thing. I'm not doing the best thing. A yogi is living in the Himalayan cave, he is not doing the best thing, he is doing a great thing for himself. Somebody, is married, happily living with his family, he is doing a great thing, he is not doing the best thing. So, don't try to do the best thing, your life will go waste. because it involves the whole world. That means, you must be the Alexander, the Great, to do the best thing. And of course, you didn't do the best thing, nor did you do a great thing. Because, he is unfit for anything else, we said "He is great", and dismissed him off. Because, he doesn't get into any category of being human. Really. So, this is something, if you bring a certain space of clarity, you are making your decisions. Once, you make you decision, there should be no looking. Because, nishchala thathvam, jeevana mukthi. If you, once you, whatever you do, you just sweep the floor, With total involvement, everyday you sweep the floor, you will get enlightened. I am not joking. That's all it takes. The problem is the man who is sweeping the floor, wants to become something else. That something else wants to sweep the floor. That something else want to do something else. This something else want to do something else. Nobody is doing what they are doing, with absolute involvement. That's our problem. whatever you're doing, if you do it with absolute total involvement, if there is a nishchala thattvam, that you arm means your arm, just that. That's what the driving does to you on Himalayan roads. That's what Trekking also, mountaineering does to you. Now when you are doing that, you can be doing something else. if you do something else, that's the last thing you will do. Then, if you are keeping a vehicle, really fanced on these vehicles, that's the only thing you are doing. you try to do something else, that will be the last thing you do. So, live your life like that. whatever you're doing, that's all you're doing. Absolutely If you have that nishchalathattvam, whatever you do, it's fine. But everyday, shifting, shifting, shifting. people are married for fifteen years, now they thinking, may be I should have taken brahmacharya, people who have been brahmacharis for 10 years, now they thinking may be I should have got married. this is a endless waste of life.

Video Details

Duration: 12 minutes and 34 seconds
Country: India
Language: English
Producer: Isha Foundation
Director: Isha Foundation
Views: 179
Posted by: ishafoundation on Jul 19, 2010

http://www.ishafoundation.org/ Taking the path of the married is not always as easy as it seems in this excerpt from another In the Presence of the Master series talk given to participants on the recent trip to the Himalayas.

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