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Build Rapport in Your Coaching Practice_Final

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>> Hey there. Have you ever noticed how some people are really easy to talk to? Take a moment to think of a person you've met who was just effortless to have a conversation with, as if you already knew them for years the first time you met. Now think about it. What was it about them that made them is so easy to get along with? How did you feel in their presence? Pause the video right here, and write down on a piece of paper the qualities that stood out about this person. Then write how you felt as a result of your interaction. Got it? The exact qualities that you've all written down may vary from person to person. that this person was outgoing, genuine, and took an interest in you. Likely, you left the interaction feeling good and connected. Are you able to relate? People who connect warmly with others are good at establishing rapport. For some of us, this comes naturally. For others, this is more of a learned and practiced skill. Whether you're outgoing-and-inviting by default or you need to cultivate it, this is a critical skill in coaching that everyone is capable of achieving with a little bit of practice. In this lecture, we'll walk through what rapport is, why it's important, how it's created, and how to sustain and enhance rapport in your coaching relationships. So what is rapport? It's defined as a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other's feelings and ideas or communicate well. Having rapport is the ability to talk to others easily and with confidence. According to Sabine Dembkowski, experiencing rapport can be described as a feeling of warmth and trust, leading to a sense of relatedness and connection. Rapport is a fundamental building block of all human interaction. It's a concept that extends far beyond coaching. In fact, we already practice rapport building in our own lives. This is how friendships and relationships are built. For some of us, it feels effortless, while for others, it can actually be a source of anxiety. But if rapport building is not a strong point for you, luckily it is something that you can get better with with a little bit of strategy and practice. Now let's take a closer look at exactly why rapport is so important in coaching. Rapport is a key ingredient of influence. When it comes down to it, our overarching purpose of working with clients is to be influential to them, to help inspire and motivate the desired changes in their lives. So the more someone feels connected to you and understood by you, the more influence you'll exert over their process. Having rapport with someone who builds their trust in you, and commitment is built on trust. Would you open up about your deepest concerns and insecurities to someone you didn't feel like you could trust? It's simple. We just don't open up to people we don't trust, and we don't commit to things that we don't feel certain of and positive about. And lastly, understanding how to build rapport is an important trait for us to possess as coaches, to connect with our clients, but it also helps them to learn how to communicate effectively and build relationships in their own lives. It's so common for clients to experience interpersonal difficulties in their lives as they struggle with things like primary foods. And we can help them even just by modeling sincere warmth and connection. So you maybe wondering, how is rapport created? Well, let me preface this by saying that it's important to remember that building rapport in a relationship is a two-way street. It's up to us as coaches to work, to create, and build rapport, but the establishment of rapport ultimately requires the cooperation of both parties. So if after a few sessions your client seems to be withdrawn, guarded, or hesitant with you, explore this with them. You could say something like, So we've been spending some time now getting to know each other and building a relationship but I'm sensing some hesitation on your part. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm getting the impression that you're having some reservations about opening up with me. Could we explore this?" You'll see that it's fairly easy to sense when rapport is missing. In fact, a good way to understand the concept of rapport in action is to think about a situation where it was absent. Earlier, I prompted you to think of someone you had great rapport with. So now I want you to conjure up a memory of the opposite. Take a moment to recall an encounter when you felt like you just didn't click with someone at all upon meeting them. Perhaps, it felt like having to pull teeth to have a conversation with them or maybe you just got an icy vibe that you couldn't quite put your finger on. What were the qualities of this person's approach and their interaction that was so off putting to you? How did the conversation make you feel? Again, pause the video, flip your paper over, and spend a minute writing down the elements of this interaction, and how it affected you. In general, did you feel like you weren't very in tune with this person? For whatever reason you had, you found that it was difficult to connect with them, and you just weren't on the same page. Was their conversation style different from yours? Did you feel bored, uncomfortable, even irritated, or annoyed? This was an encounter in which rapport was not successfully created. And this is typically an indicator of lack of genuine warmth and or poor communication skills. We can't appeal to everyone, nor should we even try to. But we can have a communication style that's generally appealing. And to do this, we don't need to be fake or stuffy. Rapport flows from a state of authenticity, a place from which we open ourselves up to convey that we're genuinely charismatic, relatable, and trustworthy. Let's take a look at these three major components of rapport in further detail. So charisma, this is a force that draws us toward others. What are the qualities that make someone charismatic? Well, confidence is one. Charismatic people outwardly demonstrate that they'recomfortable in their own skin, and they have mastery of their own lives. This is conveyed through how they speak, but also nonverbally, through good posture and open body language. Charismatic people are also interested and interesting. They show a genuine curiosity toward other people, and they draw them out by asking them lots of questions about themselves. They're great listeners too. At the same time, charismatic people are interesting because they share about themselves, and they tend to be good storytellers. What famous celebrity, athlete, or public figure comes to mind when you think of the word charisma? Do they possess these qualities? What about you? Do you possess these qualities? And if not, what can you do to start becoming more charismatic in your personal life and with your clients? We tend to think of charisma as this magic "It" quality that someone's born with, when really, all of the elements are just skills that take a little bit of practice. Next, let's talk about the concept of relatedness. Simply put, we relate to people who are similar to us in some kind of way. So all we're doing here is working the psychology of the basic principle that we like people who are like us. To enhance relatedness, we can share stories and information about ourselves that will connect us to our clients and point out similarities when they come up. Just be careful to keep the focus of the conversation on them and not going to tangents about your own life. Sharing is great and we totally encourage it, but this is something we want to use selectively to build rapport by sharing only that which is beneficial for our clients to hear and learn about us, not what's satisfying to our own egos or our personal needs to be heard. Remember, sessions never should be about us. We can also subtly enhance relatedness through the skill of mirroring. This is a concept that will discuss in detail later on. The third component of rapport involves trust. It's important to establish trustworthiness and prove our honor. This takes place over time, but you can create ways to develop and start establishing a good track record with your clients right off the bat. Here too, sharing can be helpful. So if a client learns that you've overcome the same issue, they'd probably going to develop more trust in you because they'll see you as an expert. We'll also go into this in more detail later on when we discuss the concept of authenticity as a coaching skill. Also, you'll want to have a high standard of ethics. Make your ethics and your commitment to your clients clear from the time they signed by going over your contract with them in detail. And take the time to fully discuss boundaries and expectations so that everyone's on the same page. And most importantly, honor all of your commitments to the clients, even the smallest ones. If you're working with someone and you don't have the answer to their question, and you say you're going to look into it and get back to them, definitely make a note to actually follow up as soon as possible. These little follow-throughs that don't seem like a big deal really will add up and make an impact on your clients. And this will help to deepen their trust and faith in you as a trusted helper. So to help you put these concepts into practice, I'll wrap up by sharing six ways that you can sustain and enhance rapport as a coach. One, become more observant. Pay close attention to your clients. Notice the details in what they say, how they say things, how they act, and their appearance. So compliment your client on their new haircut or point out that you notice more of a sparkle in their eye this week. If they mention something to you during the Health History like they like to play golf for an example, use an analogy about golf to make a point or simply ask them if they've had a chance to get out on the green lately. Because when clients see that you pay attention to these little details, they instantly feel more valued by you. Two, demonstrate curiosity. Take an interest in all of your clients on a personal level. Don't just ask them any question and ask it mechanically, and don't refrain from asking for details or clarifications if you don't have a clear concept of who they are or what they're about. Even if these are surface level questions like, "What do you like to do for fun?" They'll get your client talking and it'll show them that you're genuinely interested in who they are. Asking a client what their favorite band is or their favorite restaurant isn't small talk, it's relationship building. And this sets you up for the potential commonalities that you can connect on together. Three, hold space. Give your clients space to open up and express themselves. Rapport can't be forced. You can't expect it to develop in one session. Let your clients warm up to you. And you can do this by keeping a relaxed tone into your early sessions. There is no need to push someone into the deep end right away or to rush them through a conversation or series of questions just to suit your own agenda or to fill out an entire Health History form. Four, emit confidence. There's a balance between being unsure and being cocky. And this middle point, right here is where we should be. Being confident isn't about talking up your credentials and knowledge, and how great you are. It's about demonstrating your faith in your clients to succeed with you by their side as their best resource. Make this clear to them from day one and reiterate this point throughout your work. Because sometimes all it takes is just a little acknowledgement like, "Wow, that's a really great insight. I see we're already making great progress together." Five, ooze warmth. It's okay to be over the top warm and friendly with your clients as long as it's genuine. Coming across as a loving person can feel scary and vulnerable for some of us, but it'll only work wonders with your clients. Try to look at them through a lens of love at all times. Ask yourself, "What would I want for this person if they were my mother or sister or brother or spouse? How can I be of best service to them? How would I act towards this person if they were my dear friend?" Treat your clients like they're family. And six, convey understanding. Look, we all want to feel understood, and this is especially true for clients who are in this unique relationship with us where they have the spotlight to talk about themselves and the areas of their lives that they want to change. Making them feel understood every step of the way will increase your bond and ease the anxiety around their vulnerability. We'll be going over skills that'll make your clients feel understood in this and in future modules. So to recap, we learned in this lecture that rapport is the building block of all of our interpersonal relationships. It's super important in the coaching process as a precursor to your client's commitment to opening up and working with you on a meaningful level. We build rapport by being charismatic, relatable, and trustworthy. And we can establish and sustain rapport in the coaching relationship by being observant, demonstrating curiosity, holding space, emitting confidence, oozing warmth, and conveying our understanding. Do you struggle to build rapport with your clients or does this come easily to you? Head on over to the Facebook page and share in the comments section something in your practice that you found helpful for building rapport, and one way that you can up your level of charisma starting right now. Thank you so much for watching. See you soon.

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Duration: 14 minutes and 10 seconds
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Language: English
License: Dotsub - Standard License
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Views: 5
Posted by: integrativenutrition on Jul 6, 2018

Build Rapport in Your Coaching Practice_Final

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