Pokemon in Real Life

I can't believe I'm finally a Pokemon trainer! I'm gonna catch 'em all and nothing is gonna stand in my way! Hey, what the hell is this guy doing? Oh, that guy? He's just waiting to fight ya! What? I don't wanna fight him! Well, do you wanna get past him? Yeah. Well, then you gotta fight him, ya stupid jackass. God, none of you kids know anything Pokemon! You looked at me funny! Let's battle! I don't wanna fight you! Too bad, you walked in front of me! Let's battle! No! I don't wanna fight anyone! I'm just here to catch Pokemon! Look man, I've been standing here for five weeks straight waiting for somebody to walk by! Do not take this moment from me! Fine. Let's battle! I choose you, Pikachu! Is that all you've got? Go, Magikarp! All right, Magikarp, hit him with the spash attack! All right Pikachu! Use scratch! All right, now use thundershock! You can't go twice in a row! You have to wait for me to choose what attack I wanna do next! All you have is splash attack. Hold on, I'm thinking! Son of a b*tch... All right, Magikarp! Hit him with the splash attack! All right Pikachu, annihilate him with a thundershock! You got lucky this time, here's twenty poke-dollars. Sweet! Now that that's out of the way, I can finally continue my quest to catch all... F***!!!